JAP: Oh my god, I totally have to go to my cousin's birthday in a week. Like she is such a bitch!
Follower: I hate her because you hate her.
JAP: What? I don't hate her, she is just a little bitch.
Follower: Like, what's the difference?
JAP, walking away: The difference is you are no longer my friend and luckily you are sooo replaceable.
Follower, running behind: I'm sooo sorry! Please don't do this!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Chick #1: So, you transferred to CUNY-Hunter?
Chick #2: Yeah. My last school was making me stupid and drunk, and I can’t be a lawyer like that… Look at you, little big knuckles!
–Q train
Guy #1: Hey, where are you going?
Guy #2: To the vet.
Guy #1: Where?
Guy #2: The veterinarian.
Guy #1: Oh, are you still sick?
–Koronet Pizza
Straight guy in hot pink underwear: Yeah, I've fallen asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.
–Gold's Gym, 54th St
Overheard by: Johnny V
Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a party and sold raffle tickets, the winner got to restyle his hair. He's weird.
–1 Train
Overheard by: whirlygirlie518
White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I marry a Japanese, then there's all that weird sex stuff. I'm marrying Korean. They're adorable, and don't have that weird communism thing the Chinese do.
–Chinatown
Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pasta here with weird vegetables and weird meat. My favorite meal here is breakfast. I am so ready to go home!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: D-Law
Blonde: I think I’m going to donate money to that thing George Clooney was talking about.
Friend: What?
Blonde: Darfur.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: betty machete
Guy in orchestra, after Kristin Chenoweth has sang “I say a little prayer for you”, right before applause: You go, girl!
Guy in balcony: What did he say?
Guy's friend: “You go, girl” (rolls eyes) She's not Mo'nique in Precious.
–Broadway Theatre
Overheard by: They're both awesome
Girl: Why are you so upset? You told me to try new things.
Guy: I didn’t mean ecstasy!
–Times Square
Overheard by: emily clark
Chick #1: I always use Equal.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: Well, I like to think of Equal as the women’s lib of sweetener.
Chick #2: So… What does that make Sweet’N Low? The pre-lib? Feminine mystique?
Chick #1: Yeah… Just look at it — pink and pretty, sweet, and bowed low. C’mon. It’s like, ‘Hey, ladies, be sweet and pink for your man — use Sweet’N Low and stay in shape and he’ll love you more!’ Then there’s Equal — it’s blue, it’s bold, it demands attention. It says, ‘Yeah, we’re an artificial sweetener, marketed towards women, but we’re equal!’
Chick #2: Um… Okay, so what does that make Splenda?
Chick #1: I guess post-lib feminism?
Chick #2: Uh, I don’t even know what that is…
Chick #1: Well, see, Splenda’s in court now because apparently neither does anyone else.
Chick #2: Wow… The history of feminism, as interpreted by Deborah, through artificial sweetener… I don’t think I was ready for that at eight in the morning on a Thursday.
Chick #1: Yeah… But that was the only time it was gonna happen.
–71st & West End
Overheard by: Pedro
Girl: So are you still upset about her?
Guy: No, it’s okay, her breath smells funny…like poop.
Girl: I had a swim coach like that. So does her breath really smell like poop?
Guy: Did you have to say it that loud?
–New York Public Library, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Andrew Marsh
Brunette: I really need to have sex.
Blonde: Well you better do it soon because you’re getting your period on Wednesday.
[long pause.]Brunette: We spend too much time together.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nipples McFreaky
