Valley girl: The little red jobbies are way cool! What are they?
Vendor: Those are macouns. Ones over there are golden delicious and Granny Smith.
Valley girl, grabbing an apple: And, what's that little thing sticking out on top of this one?
Vendor: Those are leaves, miss.
Valley girl: Wow! This place is like…sooooo…country, y'know?
–Green Market Apple Vendors, Union Square
Overheard by: cindy
Girl: Do you know what he said, that fucker?
Guy: No, what?
Girl: “Whadda we gotta get married for? You ain't knocked-up yet!”
Guy: Damn, that's cold-blooded.
–Q Train
Hot girl: Every time I look in the mirror, I cry a little bit inside.
Hot girl's friend: Why? But you're like so pretty.
Hot girl: For all the ugly people out there who must feel so unsatisfied with themselves and their nonexistent sex lives when they look at me and think, “wow if only I had such assets. If only my butt jiggled like that.”
Hot girl's friend: What is with you and your obsession with anal intercourse? You can have a perfectly balanced sex life and not engage in anal sex.
Hot girl: Not if you're Italian.
Hot girl's friend: Ohhh, so that's why Italians have such nice asses. All that thrusting must widen the butt cheeks tremendously.
–64th & 1st
Tall guy: Sure, no problem. I'll drive you guys, do you know how to get there from here?
Blond chick: Yeah, you can take the tunnel or the 59th Street bridge, which is free. Do you know how to get to the 59th Street bridge?
Tall guy: Um, yeah…take 59th Street?!
–Lincoln Center
Young man who just bumped into girl: Sorry!
Random older lady walking by: That's right!
–Central Park Zoo
Girl: So, how's your new haircut?
Guy: Good, but I miss…hair.
Girl: Yeah, I would miss it too, tumbling down my back in the shower.
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: I like…hair
Hungover girl #1: Oh my god, last night was so much fun! Joe kept making out with me and telling me how coked up he was.
Hungover girl #2: Oh my god, he kept making out with me too!
Hungover girl #1: Isn't he such a good kisser?
–FIT Elevator
Overheard by: MKG
Headline by: Seth
Runners-Up:
· “”Ohh- Is This YOUR Gum, Then?”” – ~m
· “And Now Our Babies Will Be Born on the Same Day!” – Katie Darling
· “Next Week, on The Bachelor…” – Catie
· “The Reason Pablo Escobar Was So Successful…” – Prashant
· “To Be Fair Though, They Share Underwear Too.” – Sam
20-something chick (smelling pot and laughing): Woo…better cross the street! Wouldn't want to get high on this second hand smoke!
Middle aged father: Yeah, you're right…first hand is always better!
–4th & Washington Square West
Overheard by: agrees with the dad
Guy: So yeah, now she says she's dating Steve.
Chick: Steve the crackhead or pyromaniac Steve?
Guy: The one who isn't in prison.
Chick: I thought you were dating him.
Guy: He found religion. Or something.
–West Village
