Girl: Yes, a boob hickey is called a “bicky”. Wait. Did you say her name was Vicky?
Boy: Shut up.
Girl: Your new girlfriend is named after the hickey her dad put on her mom's vagina!
–Prince St
Overheard by: sam
Girl: Yes, a boob hickey is called a “bicky”. Wait. Did you say her name was Vicky?
Boy: Shut up.
Girl: Your new girlfriend is named after the hickey her dad put on her mom's vagina!
–Prince St
Overheard by: sam
Girl #1: Do you want to see Dave Chapelle?
Girl #2: Oh, I love him, I love him, he's so awesome, god, if I met him, I would just, I don't know, I…
Girl #1: Have you heard that show of his?
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: Oh, I don't know–he talks about Oakland.
–43rd & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Girl #1: If I had eyebrows they would be raised right now.
Girl #2: Mine sure are.
–23rd & Lexington
Old woman talking to friend: All these kids care about nowadays is sex and drugs and good times.
20-something girl walking by: Hooray!
Old woman, yelling: Good luck! Good luck to you…see where that gets you! I'm seventy one and I haven't done drugs!
–Bedford Ave & N 7th St
Pissing guy on phone: What do you mean you're not going to have sex with me? (entire bathroom laughs hysterically) See! Even these motherfuckers agree with me!
–Bathroom, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Bobby
Dad to young son in bathroom stall: Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Did you aim in the bowl? Did you aim in the bowl? (son comes out of stall) You did! But you didn't flush. One out of two ain't bad.
–Bathroom, Union Square Movie Theater
(constipation grunts and electronic sounds are heard inside next stall)
Guy in next stall, on walkie-talkie: Hey, Tony, turn the walkie-talkie off when you take a shit!
–Men's Room, Hilton Hotel
Drunk white girl: Oh my god, this bathroom is so dark. How am I supposed to see my vagina?
–East Village
Tall black British guy using the urinal, to himself: Repeat aftah me…you are a rock star! Ah! Yeah!
–5th Avenue
Guy on cell: You start dating married women, you end up meeting their husbands.
–49th & 6th
Man on cell (guiltless and disinterested): She said I cheated, duh-duh-duh-duh.
–Church St & Barclay
Overheard by: Robert J. Anderson
Female suit on cell: He cheated on me on my 30th birthday in Nantucket and I called my mom to tell her and she said, "Are you ready to give up that lifestyle? He's wealthy and he's gorgeous. I don't want to hear it." But I want someone to be über-attracted to me.
–19th & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Dude on cell: Hello? (pause) I told you never to call me on this number. (pause) Because I don't want my wife to find out that we're dating.
–6th Ave & 17th St
Psuedo-gansta to friend: Yo, I would cheat on my wife except then you gotta buy them flowers and chocolate and shit. I'd rather spend money on my wife and be happy at home.
–N Train
Girl on cell, doing laundry: Yeah…and then he says that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't cheat on her…so I said, "Really? Then what was your penis just doing in my mouth?"
–Laundromat, 9th Ave & 53rd St
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
–Nomad Restaurant
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
–7 Train
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
–46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
–47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
–Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
Nerdy middle aged white woman to postal clerk: Yes, I'd like just one sheet of the Disney, and one of the Kwanzaa.
–Cathedral Station Post Office
Overheard by: Emily B.
Woman yelling down a stairwell: Happy holidays to you, ma'am! Hope you choke on a candy cane!
–Central Park South
Overheard by: Daisy Mae
Girl: One morning, I woke up and I thought it was Christmas. Then I went outside and I realized it's not Christmas!
–57th & Columbus
Overheard by: Have a holly jolly Columbus Day?
Irish tourist woman: You went to Macy's? Did you see outside? They have black Santas here.
–Brendan's Bar
Overheard by: Danny
Old guy scanning tickets, singing quietly to self after each bar code beep: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!
Conductor on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving shortly. In case you haven't finished your Christmas shopping, feel free to stop by the Metro North booth. You could buy a 10-trip for the kids, a weekly for the wife, or a one-way for the in-laws. Merry Christmas.
–Metro North
Overheard by: Christmas Spirit
Guy on bench smoking cigarette, on cell: But he has no problem lifting his legs so you can eat his ass.
–Central Park
Cornrowed boy to cornrowed girl: Stop chewing on me!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kelly D
Random girl showing a picture to friends: I'm eating the baby's head. It's what I do in my spare time.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Woman to another with colored contacts: I just want to eat your eyes!
–Elevator, Broadway & 32nd St
Four-year-old boy to teenage babysitter: Oh, yeah? I'm gonna bite your vagina!
–86th & Broadway
Woody Allen lookalike: But buses are so creepy. I mean, what if there are cannibals on the bus?
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: or snakes
Cheerful man with baby strapped to his chest: Lets all go stick our heads in the microwave!
–77th & Broadway
Overheard by: rachel
40-something man: They just upped my credit limit to $3,500, so on top of the few hundred I have saved up, I guess you could call me a ghetto millionaire… (later) So she's all depressed and wants to kill herself, says she's gonna jump off something. I told her, "Girl, you live in Duluth. You jump off anything there, the only thing that'll happen is you'll break your leg.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: He later used my shoulder as a pillow
Girl on cell: What a fucking selfish bitch. I can't believe she did that. I mean, I know she was like depressed or whatever, but you don't just hang yourself at your ex-boyfriend's house. (pause) No, I'm sorry, you don't just wait for everyone to go to sleep, sneak out, and hang yourself so then everyone has to find you like that. What a bitch.
–Megabus NYC
Overheard by: Tina
MTA employee, in between ordering food: They're all jumping on the tracks now. Everybody's committing suicide. They used to wait until Christmas. Now it's every day!
–Restaurant, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: Abbieprime
