Girl: Are you going to Natalie and Ben's wedding?
Guy: Yeah, I guess. I just hate going to weddings that I don't have faith in.
–5th & 6th
Girl: Are you going to Natalie and Ben's wedding?
Guy: Yeah, I guess. I just hate going to weddings that I don't have faith in.
–5th & 6th
College kid: They should put up a question on the big screen that says, ‘Who fucked up the playoffs two years in a row for us: A) Number 13, B) ARod, C) Alex Rodriguez, or D) All of the above?
Friend: … Or maybe Kevin Brown.
Man in front of them: The future ain’t what it used to be…
–Yankee Stadium
Kid to another: Stephen king is the best autha, yo. But Danielle Steele is the best girl autha, yo.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Joel
Teen to friend: Santa's a well-read dude, but they won't let him pee.
–5th Ave Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Dude Santa
Ghetto chick: Yeah, maybe mama will actually buy a book…one day.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Guy trying to push "free literature": This book is really important. It was the book that Gandhi followed. Do you know who Gandhi is? He's like the Indian Martin Luther King.
–L Train
Man reading Richard Scarry's What Do People Do All Day?: What? Poets do not write poetry all day! They work shitty jobs in design firms and sell things to assholes from San Diego! (turns page) And writers don't write all day! They pick up laundry for Park Slope bitches!
–Children's Section, Barnes & Noble, Court Street
Overheard by: Amused Bookseller
Gym Guy #1: Just weighed myself.
Gym Guy #2: Oh, yeah?
Gym Guy #1: 172 pounds after a shit.
–Wall Street NYSC
Overheard by: Bailey Wier
Hipster guy: Wax makes my hair too sticky, I like the mud better.
Hipster girl: I can’t believe we have sex.
–Mott & Spring
Girl: “Feeling sick? Sex can help–”
Professor lady: You haven’t had any lately, have you?
–Pace University
Guy #1: With fiction books, if someone tells you the ending, it’s like there’s no point to them. But with non-fiction, you can know exactly what’s going to happen and they’re still a joy to read.
Guy #2: Man, you really should try getting laid sometime. Stop bothering me.
–Clovis Press, Williamsburg
Overheard by: nalin
Dude #1: How much energy could you create yourself, powering a small turbine? Like, if you jumped on a bicycle?
Dude #2: Enough to turn on a light bulb.
Dude #3: But you have to use up energy to create energy. Like, your body would use food energy. It's just not energy-efficient.
–Restaurant, Brooklyn
Guy: I was reading about how, this week in history, women obtained the right to vote and the “I have a dream” speech was delivered. I was thinking that a black lesbian would have to be the most disadvantaged in history.
Friend: Yeah…or even a black, woman lesbian!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Thomas
Chick: My husband and I like to go to titty bars in the city. That’s why we get on so well — he likes girls and I like girls…. So, when you hang out with your buddies do you go to titty bars?
Dude: Er, not really — maybe once we went.
–Radio City Fashion Rocks show
Overheard by: Listening in the line
Shirtless old guy, walking over to a group of friends: Looks like you got a nice circle there, mind if I join you guys?
Stranger: No, I think we’re good…
Shirtless old guy: Well, I’ll be back…[looks up at the trees.] Do you see the pterodactyls? …up there, the dinosaurs? [Wakes up a hobo on the benches.] Sir, you see them, don’t you? …pterodactyls…pkawww pkawww [flaps his arms.][back to the group of friends]I’ll be back. pkawww!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Arvind Chandra
Rashad: That’s not the new Rashad. That’s the old Rashad. I don’t do that anymore! I wouldn’t date the old Rashad. I wouldn’t date me at all. I’m dating you!
Girlfriend: Then what am I doing with you?
Rashad: Come on, like you would date you?
Girlfriend: Yes!
–72nd & 2nd
