You're No Body 'til Some Body Wednesday One-Liners You

Ghetto girl to group of friends: And I was just like "Oh my god! No, she didn't! Not with that nose!"

–C Train

Guy: You could fry an egg on her stomach.

–Union Square Green Market

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Indian cougar: I just like the feeling of a nice hard young male body.

–Bowery St

Overheard by: Dj bj

Woman showing pictures on camera: And this is da one where I'm givin' him da deaf eyes…

–West Village

Overheard by: Cass

Woman on cell: Never once have I opened my legs to anyone… besides you.

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: Matt Martin

Teen to friend: They said it wouldn't be fair for me to fight her cause she ain't got no fingers.

–Outside Erasmus High School

Posted on September 15, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Fast Times at New York High, Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, India Indians, Lower East Side, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pictures, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Yeah, Well, You're Fired.

Smoking guy: Yeah, well, fuck you!
Woman walking away: No, fuck you!
Smoking guy: Yeah, who do you work for?
Woman, still walking: You know who I work for? Your dick!

–2nd Ave & 62nd St

Posted on September 13, 2010
Guys, Insults, Penis, Smokers & Smoking, Upper East Side, Women

As Demonstrated by That Hobo Over There.

Guy: I guess that's just the science of diarrhea…
Girl: (nods)

–N Train

Posted on September 9, 2010
Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Poop, Science

Where “All the Way” Involves Two Hands

Guy in bar: My ex-girlfriend from college is now on that reality show Rock of Love 2.
Group of friends: Wow, really?
Guy in bar: Yeah… I'm the reason she told Brett Michaels that she never had “all the way” sex.

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: BenRC

Posted on September 6, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Friends, Guys, School and studying, Sex, TV, Union Square and East Village

To Be Fair, Have You Forgiven Rodney Dangerfield for Making Ladybugs?

Guy #1: I really, really hate that guy.
Guy #2: But he's been dead for years.
Guy #1: Yeah, I know. I wish he were alive so I could wish he were dead.

–2nd Ave

Posted on September 2, 2010
Anger Management, Death, Gripes, Guys, Manhattan, Wishes & desires

Where Are They Now?: Wednesday One-Liners

Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.

–Central Park West

Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.

–UCB Theater

Overheard by: Robert

Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!

–Fort Greene

Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.

–3 Train

Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rick

Posted on September 1, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Film, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Language Barrier, Movies, Music, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Questions, Suits, Theater, TV, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

God Has Played a Cold Joke on Us All.

Guy #1: Owwww! Fuck! Owwwwwwwww!
Guy #2: You won't get an ice cream headache if you drink it slower.
Guy #1: I'm trying, but it's too delicious!

–9th St. & 3rd Ave

Posted on August 30, 2010
Advice, Food, Guys, Health and Hygiene, The Village

Ew, That Is So Disturbing… Who Wants the Mental Image Of Woody Allen Doing Pilates?

Guy #1: So the entrance to my apartment is on the other side. This side is a Pilates studio. Guess who comes here all the time.
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: Woody Allen and his wife.
Guy #2: His wife?
Guy #1: Yeah, you know… his daughter.

–76th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Echo

Posted on August 22, 2010
About Celebrities, Family Ties, Fitness, Guys, Upper East Side

How About You Put on Some Pants First?

20-something girl: We need to get cards so we can play Kings.
20-something guy: Yeah, Kings!
Guido, passing by: Cards? I'll astonish you with my tricks.

–79th St & Amsterdam

Posted on August 20, 2010
Girls, Guidos, Guys, Leisure, Offers and requests, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Not-So-Secret Agent Man

Granola guy with goatee on cell: Agent. (pause, then loudly) Agent! (surrounding pedestrians jump in surprise) Agent! (pause, then very angrily) Agent! (pause, then crosses street against light while cars dodge him) Agent!

–30th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: LK

Posted on August 19, 2010
Anger Management, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Guys, On Cell, Weirdness

Guys