Slutty girlfriend: You’re too thick for me to properly give you head, though.
Moron boyfriend: You callin’ me stupid?
–Fordham University
British art guy: You know what I love about Americans?
American art guy: What’s that?
British art guy: When I say the word ‘fag,’ they think I’m talking about smoking and not being homophobic. Even if I say, ‘I want to ass-fuck that fag,’ I can get away with it because I’m British.
–Soho
Professor: Did I tell you guys I’m going to be a father? I’m going to be a father.
Class: Awww!
Professor: I had a little accident. Now I have to get married.
–NYU classroom
Guy #1: So does giving a guy a handjob make you gay?
Guy #2: If your wrist starts to hurt and you’re still jerking him off, then you’re gay.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Jack Roberts
Guy: Ooh, remember that time you got raped there?
Girl: Yeah! Why did we ride bikes, anyway?
–11th Street & 3rd Avenue
Hipster: Of course I saw her fuck him–I was watching!
–Grand St, Williamsburg
Guy: I even thought about taking him to the tranny bar, you know, so he could be free.
–Sounds, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Dr. Ballon
B&T daughter: Let's move to the front, we still have eight minutes.
B&T mother: Oh my god, are we moving?!
Random guy: Uh, that's the other train that's moving.
–LIRR Train
Student, about her play: I want the audience to enter through the vagina before they sit down.
–NYU
Guy to younger girl, at intermission of Spring Awakening, right after sex scene: So you had to choose this? We couldn't have gone to see The Little Mermaid?
–Eugene O'Neill Theatre
College student: …exactly how you'd expect a college rendition of The Vagina Monologues to go.
–NYU
Black guy on cell: It doesn't mean I'm gay because I'm going to see a play. (pause) It's for a class… There's nothing wrong with wanting to see a play.
–Union Square
Overheard by: erkala
20-something guy to friend: Picture it; Fishsticks: the musicical!
–63rd St & Broadway
Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What's he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I'm on tv! (manic laugh)
–B64 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
NYU chick: They do African dance together.
NYU dude (incredulous): he does African dance?
NYU chick: Yeah, he started taking it as a class in high school.
NYU dude: He took African dance in high school?
NYU chick: Well, he's from the Bay Area.
–Hummus Place, McDougal & W 3rd
Overheard by: sarrrah3000
