Drunk guy #1, to buddies: Hey, fuckheads! It's this way!
Drunk guy #2: Man, we totally almost just died.
Drunk guy #1: Dude, no one is gonna to kill you here. We're in the East Village.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: JD
Drunk guy #1, to buddies: Hey, fuckheads! It's this way!
Drunk guy #2: Man, we totally almost just died.
Drunk guy #1: Dude, no one is gonna to kill you here. We're in the East Village.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: JD
Guy behind line of girls into the women's bathroom: Whoa!
Girl: Hey! You can't come in here!
Guy: It's okay, I'm Swedish–I'm practically gay.
–Madison Square Garden
Man: I’m, like, the MacGyver of orthoscopic surgery.
–David Copperfield’s, York Avenue
Girl: I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t gone back to school. I’d probably be dead or in jail or pregnant and living in Brooklyn or something.
–F train
Overheard by: Heather
Goth guy on cell: You can’t divide by infinity! Infinity is a concept, not a number! How many times do I have to tell you that?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lesley Brooke
Fat lady: I was Rubenesque before I was fat.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Dawn
Guy #1: What are you gonna do today?
Guy #2: Hang out, catch up on the Monday Times.
Guy #1: You mean the Sunday Times?
Guy #2: No. The Monday Times.
Guy #1: Oh. Okay, man.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: pb dot c
Guy, looking at Greek marble sculptures: Hey, did you ever notice that a lot of these guys are missing their penises?
Girl: I think that has to do with early Christian sanctions on pagan idols.
Guy: Oh. (pauses) I thought someone out there just had a really big dildo collection.
–The Met
Guy #1: Dude, did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger died in a car crash?
Guy #2: No way! That’s not true, is it?
Guy #1: I dunno. I am asking you.
–F train
Overheard by: Alex Wipf
Guy #1: Wow, I can't believe we're at the Macy's parade, I used to watch this on tv as a kid.
Guy #2: I used to watch this on tv in jail.
–34th St
Overheard by: Heibi
Dude #1: Ew, bro, that's incest!
Dude #2, sheepishly: No, it's not…
–W 9th St & 5th Ave
Guy #1: So, she was eventually diagnosed with Stockholm syndrome. No, not Stockholm syndrome… Munchausen by proxy.
Guy #2: Is that where you make your kid sick to get attention?
Guy #1: Yeah. I mean, who feeds their newborn feces? Who does that?
–21st St & 6th Ave
Guy: Yo, did you hear what Bush wants to do? He wants to get rid of financial aid for college.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah…soon we all gon’ have to be drug dealers. Seeing crackheads will be normal.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: clari
