She Don't Eat Wednesday One-Liners, But She Sure Like the Bone

Woman: Shut up! Do you want to end up alone eating a bologna sandwich in the drunk tank?

–Ave A & 10th

Overheard by: Kira

Coworker to office: I love meatloaf. I would wear it on my head like a hat.

–6th Ave

Overheard by: The Secret Newsbunny

Woman getting in cab: Fatty Magoo! I'm going to eat the shit out of some ribs!

–24th & 7th Ave

NYU boy to friends: Wait! I'm looking at the wrong site…there's all different kinds of sausages.

–Kimmel Center, NYU

Overheard by: lollin.

Hobo: I don't like beef, I don't like chicken, I don't like ribs…I like pussy!

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: J J

Conductor: Everyone please step aside at the next stop and make room for fresh meat.

–L Train

Overheard by: ooshua

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Conductors, Coworkers, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Frat Boys, Friends, Gripes, Hobos, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Lower East Side, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Street, Threats, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

These Metaphors Have Been Rampant Since the World Was Introduced to Joe the Plumber

Girl #1: You're a leaky sink of sentiment.
Girl #2: What the fuck does that mean?
Girl #1: I don't know.

–Central Park

Posted on April 14, 2009
Central Park, Girls, Insults, Questions, Stupidity, Weirdness, Words

Don't Forget to Bite My Junk!

Preppy white guy: I'm sorry, but you can't.
Hippie white chick: Bite my junk, bitch!
Preppy white guy, sighing: Okay, I'll see you at dinner.
Hippie white chick: Later! Love you!

–Henry St & Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn Heights

Posted on April 13, 2009
Apologies, Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, Hippies, Insults, Love, Preppies

A Real New Yorker Would Just Do It.

Guy shoving himself onto a full train: Maybe if y'all moved a little I would fit!
Incredibly irate guy being shoved: Maybe if I punch you in the fucking face you'll get off this train so the doors will close!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: McJensen

Posted on April 11, 2009
Anger Management, Body Parts, Guys, Insults, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Punch, Strangers, Threats, Train Station

And Where's Our Nobel Prize, Motherfuckers?

Girl #1, walking past NYSC: We should be working out like them…assholes.
Girl #2: It's fine, we are doing more productive things.
Girl #1: More productive than working out? Like what?
Girl #2: Going out, drinking, eating, and shopping!

–Wall Street

Posted on April 11, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Fitness, Food, Girls, Insults, Questions, Shopping, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Dennis the Menace Grew Up Pretty Much As Expected

MTA worker: Buy a ticket.
Guy banging on turnstile: Nooooo.
MTA worker: Buy a ticket.
Guy while diving under turnstile: No! Fuck you!

–SoHo

Posted on April 10, 2009
Clerks, Crime and Punishment, Guys, Insults, Public Transportation, Soho

The Angel Wings Are for Religious Purposes

Drunk gay college student, seeing drag queens crossing the street: Yay! Halloween! I love Halloween!
Drunk college friend: Oh my god! I love your costumes!
Drag queen, angrily: It ain't Halloween, bitch! This is every day!

–18th & 8th

Posted on April 9, 2009
Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drag queens, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Sexuality, Street, Trannies

Poor Hillary's Become Conditioned to Expect That Response

Starbucks employee to disheveled looking woman: Because it is a federal offense, ma'am.
Disheveled looking woman: Did you just call me a bitch?
Starbucks employee: No, I said it is a federal offense.
Disheveled looking woman: No, you called me a bitch.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Valley

Posted on April 9, 2009
Clerks, Crime and Punishment, Insults, Questions, Starbucks, Women

Now Playing: Wednesday One-Liners

Moviegoer: Come on, I wanna see this potentially shitty movie!

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Guy on phone: I'm not trying to have sex with you, I just really want to see The Dark Knight.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ross

Movie theater employee: I don't go to the movies. I watch them on the internet.

–AMC Loews, Lincoln Square

Overheard by: Holly

Guy on cell: Okay, love you, bye… Oh, and the reason she says "Foxy, you better work it out!" is because that's the name of her character in the movie.

–62nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Richard

Nerdy film major: Silent Night, Deadly Night II is the worst movie ever. It's so bad it's amazing. There's something cathartic about watching it; you leave thinking, "there is a god!"

–NYU Dining Hall

Guy leaving The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: You have to be some kind of anti-Christ to write a movie that retarded.

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mark Nilges

Girl, as credits roll at the end of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Wow…they both lived way too long.

–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway

Posted on April 8, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, God, Guys, Insults, Internet, Movie Theaters, Movies, Nerds, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Religion, Retardation, Sex, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Anyone with That Many Vowels in His Name Is Not to Be Trusted

Fro-yo patron #1: Yo, my boy told me he just saw Giuliani rollin' through the hood.
Fro-yo patron #2: Wait…who's Giuliani?
Fro-yo patron #1: One punk ass bitch, nigga.

–yogoMonster, Court St. Brooklyn

Overheard by: bojangles

Posted on April 7, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Bosses, Brooklyn, Insults, Politics

Insults