Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back!

–Christopher & 7th

Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus.

–125th b/w Park & Lexington

Overheard by: Reilly

Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too.

–Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn

Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for!

–Shuttle Train

Overheard by: Meredith

Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before!

–NJ Transit

Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson!

–Yankee Stadium Subway Platform

Posted on April 22, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Black People, Boob Job, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jocks, Junk Food & Fast Food, Love, Money & Class, Offers and requests, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, President, Public Transportation, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Wishes & desires, Yankee Stadium

'Til After I Met Your Math Teacher

20-something daughter: Mom, how did you know that dad was the one?
Mom: He was the only one I didn't cheat on.

–LIRR, Penn Station

Posted on April 18, 2009
Girls, Infidelity, Love, Moms, Parents, Penn Station, Questions, Trains Not Subway

Don't Forget to Bite My Junk!

Preppy white guy: I'm sorry, but you can't.
Hippie white chick: Bite my junk, bitch!
Preppy white guy, sighing: Okay, I'll see you at dinner.
Hippie white chick: Later! Love you!

–Henry St & Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn Heights

Posted on April 13, 2009
Apologies, Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, Hippies, Insults, Love, Preppies

Whooo! Check Out the Wednesday One-Liners on That One!

6'6" construction worker with another, to Applebee's host: For two, somewhere really romantic.

–Applebee's, 50th St

Construction worker with Staten Island accent: Chick's like a fuckin' black widow, like, she gets you all swollen up and then just leaves you to fuckin' die.

–47th & 6th

Overheard by: need a tissue?

Construction worker to friend: That guy's got a job at fuckin' fudge pack city!

–33rd & 6th

Overheard by: EthanK

Black construction worker to girl on street: Giiiiiirl, you lookin' good. (to orthodox boys) See, it's that easy.

–Near Edward R Murrow High School

Construction worker on scaffolding, yelling to another: Look! It's a bird! No! It's a plane! No! It's my cock!

–Driggs & N 12th, Greenpoint

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on April 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Birds, Black People, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Construction Guys, Coworkers, Death, Fast Times at New York High, Film, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insects, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Penis, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Street, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

That Red Ribbon on Her Collar Is Just Style

Woman #1 (after long phone conversation): Oh, I love that woman.
Woman #2: So no Aids?
Woman #1 (after pause): No, of course my cat doesn't have Aids, how could she have Aids?
Woman #2: No, of course she's just a stressed out cat!

–Mamouns

Posted on March 23, 2009
AIDS, Gay Man's Best Friend, Love, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

We Can Be Each Others' Funhouse Mirrors

White ginger head: You're the only one who can get in touch with my feelings.
Black girl: Yeah, we're like sisters.
White ginger head: You break down my emotions.
Black girl: I think we're in love.

–137th & Convent

Overheard by: Lovers can be Friends

Posted on March 22, 2009
Black People, Friendship, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Love, White People

College Girls Give Love a Bad Name

College girl #1: If I get shot, I love you.
College girl #2 (cheerily): Okay, I love you too!

–187th & Hoffman

Posted on March 19, 2009
Harlem & Morningside Heights, Love, Shoot, Sorority Girls

Wednesday One-Liners Without Emotional Attachment: Myth or Reality?

Dressed up overweight 20-something girl to another: We're in our 20s. We're like supposed to be slutty, right?

–Norman & Diamond

Overheard by: Guess I missed the memo 20-something girl

College girl to another: You gotta hit it and quit it, like a dude!

–W Broadway & 108th St

Overheard by: Tess

Janky fat woman: He never told me not to tramp!

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Rob

Loud thug with neck tattoos on cell: You know Stud is my son, dude. Stud just wanna hump on women all day.

–Deli, Myrtle Ave, Fort Greene

Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton

Hipster chick to another: I was wasted! Then I saw him in daylight and said "Holy shit!"

–Havemeyer, Grand Street, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Miss Heather

Lawyerly woman to another: I told him that just because I want to fuck does not mean that we have to love each other.

–Foley Square

Overheard by: Julio

Random guy to cute girl: Good luck, honey. What you wake up with, you're stuck with.

–Jimmy Steiny's, Hyatt Street, Staten Island

Posted on March 11, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Delis, Fat People, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Hook Ups, Horny, Lawyers, Love, On Cell, Parents, Physical appearance, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sex, Sorority Girls, Staten Island, Street, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires, Women

All You Need Is Wednesday One-Liner

Announcer guy: Hey girl, I love your face. And Charmin loves the other end!

–Charmin NYC Restrooms, Times Square

Overheard by: Nathan

Drunk boyfriend: Thanksgiving is over, and so is our love!

–Grand & Leonard, Williamsburg

Overheard by: fanny

Subway busker, about next song: This is not a love song. The reason that this is not a love song is because I don't like her anymore.

–Time Square

Philosophy professor on last day of class: If you love something, set it free. And if it flies away, run after it and kill it.

–City College

Overheard by: Dan Lurie

20-something guy to friend sharing iPod with him: I would do anything to live there…I would pretend to be in love.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: dallas

Woman on cell: I will skin and tar you. (pause) Oh, I love you!

–W Broadway & W 3rd St

Posted on March 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Celebrations/Parties, City College, Drunks, Friends, Guys, Lies, Love, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, Poop, Singing, Street, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Threats, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women

The Real World: Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on cell: That's why I moved to Brooklyn: I hate people!

–Carrol Gardens

Overheard by: Smegma

Man on cell: No, no, no! You go to Brooklyn and suck that sweet white dick for free!

–35th & 8th

Brooklyn guy to date: I would walk all over Brooklyn for you! I would even walk all over Queens for you, you're so sweet!

–Tonio's Restaurant, 7th & 8th, Park Slope

Overheard by: D-Law

Train conductor: Because of a sick passenger at Clark Street, some of us may not be making it to Brooklyn…I'll let you know.

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Conductor: This is York Street, the first stop in beautiful Brooklyn…yay!

–F Train

Posted on February 18, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Conductors, Dating, Directions, Free stuff!, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Love, Men, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Passengers, Penis, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women