Construction worker #1, watching hot girl: She cuuuute!
Construction worker #2: Yeah, I would just wanna smell her.
–Bowery & 3rd
Overheard by: Kyle
Construction worker #1, watching hot girl: She cuuuute!
Construction worker #2: Yeah, I would just wanna smell her.
–Bowery & 3rd
Overheard by: Kyle
Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.
–W 72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith
Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs!
–Broome & Essex
Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill.
–Starbucks
Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya?
–27th & Broadway
Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?
–Bowery
Overheard by: Lauren
Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture)
–53rd St & 10th Ave
Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me!
–Carnegie Hall
Jersey man, describing doughnuts to his daughter: And this one has so much chocolate…so much chocolate it will turn your skin brown!
Brown-skinned employee: Um, that's not true.
Jersey man: Look at this guy! He used to be Swedish!
–The Doughnut Plant
Guy to girl: I have a proprietary interest in your nipples.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Hobo coming out of cardboard box to group of blonde chicks: Run yo nipples!
–Blake St
Teenage girl: It's so fucking cold my nipples could pick up radio stations.
–Central Park
20-something Asian guy: But I know babies' nipples are so sensitive…
–Grand & Eldridge
Hobo, yelling at couple on the street: What the hell I look like to you? Huh?! I'm a gangsta! If I had three nipples and no legs, I'd still get laid! (shakes cane at them)
–41st & 8th
Overheard by: S&B at STJ
Indian hipster on cell: Yeah, man, no worries. I want to see you guys. I'll definitely finagle my way uptown somehow.
Crazy hobo, jumping alongside hipster: Yeah! You gotta finagle! How else would you get there? Finagle, man, you gotta finagle!
–Bowery & Broome
Woman: Shut up! Do you want to end up alone eating a bologna sandwich in the drunk tank?
–Ave A & 10th
Overheard by: Kira
Coworker to office: I love meatloaf. I would wear it on my head like a hat.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: The Secret Newsbunny
Woman getting in cab: Fatty Magoo! I'm going to eat the shit out of some ribs!
–24th & 7th Ave
NYU boy to friends: Wait! I'm looking at the wrong site…there's all different kinds of sausages.
–Kimmel Center, NYU
Overheard by: lollin.
Hobo: I don't like beef, I don't like chicken, I don't like ribs…I like pussy!
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: J J
Conductor: Everyone please step aside at the next stop and make room for fresh meat.
–L Train
Overheard by: ooshua
Drunk guy: If I'm not married by the time I'm twenty-five or twenty-six…
Drunk girl: You haaaaave to be married by the time you're twenty-five.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: very single twenty-five year old. ouch.
Jewish grad student #1: Are you kosher?
Jewish grad student #2: Yeah, of course! Unless it's free…
–Orchard St
Suit to another, on smoking break: Cigarettes are out, cookies are in!
–33rd & Park Ave
Teen boy: I wanna take up smoking just to prove to people how easy it is to quit. Seriously, it's not that hard. Just don't buy a pack.
–74th & Lexington
Bum to another: And so the cops went in and found them… And you know they can't arrest them for smokin' that shit…it's part of their religion!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
Professor: The only reason valuable reason to start smoking is if you were molested as a child or some shit like that.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Girl on phone: So my roommate was bitching at me this morning for walking around in my underwear and I was like, "Dude, you got laid last night, I got yelled at by my booty call's girlfriend. I deserve to smoke cigarettes half naked on my patio."
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: innocent bystander
High school kid: Yo, I would smoke a cigarette dipped in toothpaste!
–Chambers St
FDNY in uniform, waiting for firemen who were grocery shopping: He kept saying, “you're gonna get caught! You're gonna get caught!” but I just took off the tag, put them on my face and just walked out of the store!
Civilian he was talking to (looking shocked and equally disgusted): Oh.
–Whole Foods, Houston & Christie
