Crazy hobo to man trying to ignore him: Did you know that Chinese has over 50,000 dialects?
Uninterested man: Wow, that's a lot…
Crazy hobo: And there are 18 provinces in Canada, not 4!
Uninterested man: You don't say…
(very long pause)
Crazy hobo: So, what kind of medication are you on?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Pete
Young hipster to friend: Remember when we sat there, I was high on Vicodin and we saw that guy take a shit in the fountain?
–Union Square Greenmarket
Rich woman yelling on phone: I don't care about your stupid laws or ethics or whatever. (pause) No, I pay you too much money not to get the goddamn drugs I want. (pause) Just write the fucking prescriptions and send them! What the fuck kind of drug dealing doctor are you?
–Metro North Train
Loud lady on cell on escalator: I'm on all these medications you're not supposed to be on when you're pregnant!
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Visiting Kiran
Jock: Nothing's as bad as being allergic to Viagra, man!
–NYU Bus
Lady of indeterminate age: A craving is just a thought on steroids.
–26th st & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lucky Gunther
Obese woman to male friend: I need to get some Viagra from my dad.
–17th St & 8th Ave
Middle aged drunk woman: Excuse me sir, do you know what nasal douching is?
Random 20-something guy: Uh, I think it's when you stick your nose up in there and blow it out or something.
–Grand Central
Woman: Your doctors told us not to let you have any alcohol, because of your medication.
Elderly woman: Okay. I'll just have beer then.
–F Train
Overheard by: Mae
Older woman: I don't trust New York hospitals. They killed my mother.
Younger woman: Really?
Older woman: They killed my friend's mother. It was horrible.
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn Station
Loud obnoxious girl in movie theater: Oh yeah, I confuse a billion and a million all the time.
–Union Square Movie Theatre
College student to friend: Yo, I know doctors that are making mad money but are still behind because of their student loans! One of them told me that I should go to a CUNY or SUNY for my undergrad, then spend the big bucks at a private college for my grad. Yo, it costs $200,000 to go to school, that's like half a million dollars!
–E Train
Overheard by: hopefully he won't be measuring doses
Creepy bald tattooed guy: 30% of communication is verbal. (creepy lady nods) And that means that the other 60% is done with our bodies…I've done the research it's incredible.
–Spring St & Greene St
Overheard by: Seth
Girl on phone: Yeah, so everyone else had like 3, or 5, and I had 75.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jenn
Blonde teen on cell: 12 is not a baker's dozen, it's only a dozen. A baker's dozen is like 144. I've only slept with twelve guys, okay? Get off my back!
–Amsterdam Ave b/w 90th & 91st
Girl to friend: You mean the labia? No, that's a vagina part.
–13th & Ave B
Overheard by: Caroline
Woman to friend, in line for bathroom: I'm taking that medication that makes it really dry, again.
–Ethel Barrymore Theater
Overheard by: Crumb Doughnut
Cornelius, crazy hobo: Yo' pussy looks betta' than yo' face!
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Lily London & China Rose
Monotone suit on cell: That pussy better be ready by the time I get home.
–Houston & Broadway
Girl on cell waiting for Port Jefferson train: Okay, be serious for a second, how do you know if you're allergic to latex, though? Really, cause dead honest, it's a puffed mushroom right now. I don't know what to do. Should I go see someone, do you think Henry would notice? Really, what if I turn off the lights?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Chester
Jesus freak on subway: We are all sinners. We commit sins everyday. We will all burn in hell.
Woman next to him: I don't feel that way.
Jesus freak: Oh yeah? What do you do?
Woman: I am a doctor.
Jesus freak: Hah! You murder people everyday!
–1 Train
College bro-dude #1: Man, I really fucked up my arm.
College bro-dude #2: Yeah. You need to get an x-ray.
College bro-dude #1: Man, I knew I shouldn't have fucked a fat chick.
–Clark St, Brooklyn
