Woman, looking at two obese ladies flirting with a construction worker: This scene makes me want to puke.
Man with her: (laughs)
Woman: But all I've got in my stomach is cum.
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Me Too?
Woman, looking at two obese ladies flirting with a construction worker: This scene makes me want to puke.
Man with her: (laughs)
Woman: But all I've got in my stomach is cum.
–Gramercy Park
Overheard by: Me Too?
Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.
–10 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Jarrod
Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.
–Grand St, Chinatown
Overheard by: Mike Posillico
Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.
–Bx15 Bus
Overheard by: Karly
Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dahouhou
Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.
–14th St, across Doomed Megastore
Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin
Loud guy: Hey! Illegal drugs, anyone? Illegal drugs? I want to buy some illegal drugs!
–6th Ave & 34h St
Overheard by: Emily
College girl to friend: Remember that time when you slept with that drug trafficker?
–33rd & 3rd
Man in restaurant: After the roofies I took I was a total mess, it was amazing.
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Matt
Man to friend holding Diet Coke: Do you remember when they had this at that gay bathhouse I had to go to because my drug dealer was there?
–Duane Reade
Dude, about crowd: I'm so glad we dropped acid before coming here.
–Trader Joe's, Union Square
Overheard by: Kat
Loud girl on cell: She can't just call you up and like, reminisce and be like, "remember when we loved each other?" Oh, and I don't even want to talk about the conversation we had this morning. There's no excuse to do acid!
–Wagner College
White student: I can’t believe you guys gave my ID to another person!
Security guard: Yeah, I’m really sorry. I wish there was a better system for doing this.
White student: Yeah, they should have all the Asian kids in a separate directory, because they all have the same last names.
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Darren Montalbano
Young lady: Stupid people have more fun!
–Chrystie & Housten
Overheard by: Probably True…
Middle age woman to young woman pushing stroller: Well, this is a stupid place for a stroller!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Would the street be safer?
Oversized hip-hop boyfriend to undersized girlfriend: I'm being stupid for your benefit.
–Duane Reade
Woman buying ibuprofen: It's not a virus. My mother's got a headache from everyone being stupid.
–Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl smoking on the sidewalk to smoking friend: He's perfect. Except that he's kind of dumb. But he's perfect!
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Katface
Little girl looking at hobo: Mommy how do you get money if you don't have any?
Trophy mom: You just get married, honey.
–18th & Broadway
Man: All I want is vaginal fluids. Been locked up for years upstate.
–Astor Place
Hipster dude: It smells like dirty vagina out here.
–Graham & Richardson, Williamsburg
Amateur gynecologist: I mean, when you think about it, he’s really just a big vagina with sand in it.
–93rd & 3rd
Frat guy: I don’t know, man…I just don’t trust her vagina.
–Outside Ray’s Pizza, Houston St
Overheard by: Becky
Chubby teen: I’ve never even touched a vagina!
–100th & Amsterdam
Worker: They had a bet on who ate the best pussy. They get on the stage and take turns going down on her.
–32nd & Madison
Woman, to store clerk: Excuse me, do you knows where the pussy products is?
–Duane Reade, 45th & 6th
Hobo to himself: The VA wants $200. (pause) How can I give them $200? (pause) I only get $320. (pause) Maybe I'll bribe them. (pause) No, that won't work–you need money to bribe people.
–Chase ATM, Grammercy
Overheard by: cmk
Headline by: Luminesce
Runners-Up:
· “He’ll Be Running a Hedge Fund in No Time” – again
· “I Guess the Facelift Will Have to Wait” – JohnAustin
· “In the End, He’ll Use His Sex Appeal” – Daniel
· “It’s a Catch-22” – Gary
· “Or Just Vomit on Their Doorstep Until They Cave in” – Fresca P
· “You Could Try to Sell Barack Obama’s Senate Seat” – Nick Pollotta
White college girl: I would definitely want to be a doctor, if I didn't have to go to medical school.
–Fordham University
Nurse to another: Well, it seems that the themes of the day were UTIs and pregnancies.
–NYU Student Health Center
Overheard by: had neither
Black male pre-teen to mother: I know all about doctors, 'cause I watch shows about that. (pause) Actually, I watch Dr Phil.
–1 Train
Guy to two girls: I had to fire my doctor, I didn't like what he told me.
–39th & Lexington
Doctor, drawing on napkin and displaying results to student: This is you…in 40 years, in a fugue state. In Turkey. Dissociative fugue–learn neurology!
–168th & Fort Washington
Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.
–Upper West Side
Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!
–28th & Park Ave
Overheard by: natasha
Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?
–West Side Highway
Overheard by: amalthya
Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.
–48th St & Lexington
Overheard by: anon
