Father to son: Son, I love you, fuckface!
Son to father: I love you too.
–37th & 4th
Overheard by: Jonas Puer
Father to son: Son, I love you, fuckface!
Son to father: I love you too.
–37th & 4th
Overheard by: Jonas Puer
Teeny tiny gay guy: I used to be so skinny in high school.
–Staten Island
Teenage girl to another: I mean, why bother to eat anything if you're just gonna shit it all out?
–L Train
Woman carrying baby to friend: Also, I burn an extra 500 calories a day just by breastfeeding!
–5th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: Tracy
20-something guy, about Sour Patch Kids gummy candy: They're fat-free, so they're good for you!
–4 Train
Six-year-old girl, eating bagel: All of the fat from this is going to go straight to my ass!
–A Train
Overheard by: that's just great
British tourist to misbehaving child: Do you want a smacked bottom now or the other thing when we get home?
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Mom to kid playing on shopping cart: You'd better stop that, or you're going to fall and crack your head, and I'm going to laugh, cuz I told you so.
–Grocery Store
Father to four-year-old son: Watch out, these people are trying to kill us.
–36th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: benny
Guy to son who is hesitant about seat in theater: If I had been this choosy with your mom, you wouldn't be here!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mother to daughter: I don't want to hear about your hunger pangs right now. Now turn around and look at the sea lions.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: kathcom
20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait… Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.
Friend: What the fuck?
20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again… lately?
Friend: Uhhh, do you mean “soon”?
20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
–Windsor Court, Murray Hill
20-something man walking into restaurant: I'd never bring my grandmother here for a date!
–27th & Lexington
Teen: That shit was sick! That shit was sick! I wanna go home and slap my grandmother!
–94th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Slapped her how?
Ghetto dude in fight with girlfriend: Your grandmother is a bitch!
–Murray St & Church St
Guy to friend: My grandma used to chase us around with fly swatters…
–Houston & Allen
Kid on bike: Hey dad–that Gap ad. Is that Viggo Mortensen?
Dad on bike, looking: Him? Noooo! (pause) Viggo Mortensen's black.
Kid on bike: He is? Oh. (pause) In Lord of the Rings he wasn't…
–28th St & Park Ave
Old obese Italian guy sharing pizza and a pitcher of beer with old obese Italian friend: Yeah, so I walk 3-4 miles 5 times a week, and I eat a lot of salad.
–Carmine St.
Fat running lady to friend, watching middle school track team go by: Haha, look at dem running girls. I can run like that too!
–by the Hudson River
Morbidly obese woman walking track to group of friends: Look at all these people runnin da track all fast and shit. (panting) Look at dem with their skinny asses running past us like they're better and shit. Fagmuffins!
–Forest Park Track, Queens
Overheard by: D. Scibe
Girl on cell phone: I mean, usually in order to get a full workout it takes me like an hour to sweat. I never sweat, never. It's always so hard for me to get a workout. (pause) Yeah, seriously, I mean, I've gotta stretch first, work myself up, I mean… Really, it takes a long time til I feel like I've gotten a good workout usually. But this time it was just one… (pause) awesome, huge, unbelievable cock! (pause) Oh, shit, I forgot I'm in public!
–15th & 7th
Cop to guy in handcuffs: I swear to god I won't arrest you if you do 10 push-ups right now. Swear to god.
–28th & 2nd
Girl #1: But, I like love him so much. I can't not love him, ya know?
Girl #2: You still love him, even though he treats you like crap?
Girl #1: Well, ya know how it is.
Girl #2: Actually, I don't know. Would you care to explain?
Girl #1: I like love him, ya know.
–23rd St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: A Boyish Girl
Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty?
–Columbus Circle
Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb?
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nora Claire
Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms?
–East Village
Overheard by: bb
Tourist: Is Chinatown closed?
–Canal St
Overheard by: Kristen
Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right?
–42nd St & 6th St
Overheard by: tourists rock
Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer?
–Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field
Overheard by: AJ
Guy #1: Have you ever had a happy ending?
Guy #2: No, I've never gotten one. (passer-by stares at him)
Guy #1: I get them all the time, they're great!
–W 23rd & 3rd
