The Wednesday Bone's Connected to the One-Liner Bone…

20-something girl: I don't let people with toes like that into my bed!

–Bleecker & Broadway

Overheard by: insizlane

Old man on cell: Just tell her to go to Duane Reade and get that shit that puts your urethra to sleep.

–East Village

Overheard by: doctors are so jaded

Woman: My son has a perfect head, it's not flat on no sides.

–44 Bus, Staten Island

(man comes over and pushes down everyone's safety bar)
Woman: My uterus just came out of my vagina.

–Coney Island Cyclone

Guy on cell: …and it's just not Sunday unless you've had your finger in someone.

–Houston & Macdougal

Overheard by: Lish

Posted on August 13, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Coney Island, Girls, Hand-Jobs, Health and Hygiene, Medicine, Men, Old People, On Cell, On the Bus, Physical appearance, Sexuality, Staten Island, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness, Women

Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner!

Young mother: Yeah, she still talks like a baby. She still talkin' baby talk. Her favorite word is "bitch."

–C Train

Overheard by: Emily B.

Black chick on phone: So I asked that bitch and she said he's gonna be in the Special Olympics in Secaucus.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jake

Conductor over PA system: Don't hold the doors, bitches!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Anna

Ghetto boyfriend to ghetto girlfriend: You know… You know that I luh' you, but I just wanna know, why you don't luh' me? Why, bitch, why?!

–Broadway & Canal

Overheard by: Aviva

Man on cell: It was a bad bitch? …a bad bitch?

–37th & Broadway

Girl to friend: …so then the guy turns the fuck around during "Chim chiminey" and just loses his shit on those two old bitches.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Viv

Posted on August 13, 2008
Babies, Black People, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Couples, Ghetto Chicks, Girlfriends, Girls, Insults, Love, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Shoes, Singing, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Words

Wednesday A1 Liners

Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.

–Wendy's, 14th Street

Overheard by: Zack

Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!

–R Train

Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?

–Newsroom, Midtown

Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.

–280th St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: casayoto

Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.

–4th St Station

Overheard by: Jess

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Ethnic Food, Girls, Gripes, Hobos, Jews, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Lawyers, Leisure, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Preppies, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Teens, Weed, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Overheard in Wednesday One-Liners

MTA employee high-fiving another: That's why I always wear my uniform to court. I ain't no thug; I ain't no criminal; I work for the City of New York!

–127th & Lenox

Female suit to friend: Welcome to New York. Have a good day somewhere else.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: Hey, I like New York.

Crazy bag lady to parents of babbling toddler: Shut your fucking kid up! If you want PC, this isn't the fucking place!

–AirTrain to Jamaica

Barista: I keep forgetting that "New York" doesn't equal "World."

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Chris K.

Girl on cell: A blood draw, a pelvic exam, and a shot in the ass all on the same day… Yeah, well, it is New York.

–Lafayette & Franklin

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bag ladies, Baristas, Blood & bleeding, Body Parts, Clothing, Coworkers, Crazies, Crazy, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Lower Manhattan, Offers and requests, On Cell, Suits, Washington Square Park, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Going Through a Dry Spell

50-year-old female crackhead hobo chasing a 30-year-old male post office worker: Why won't you fuck me? Come fuck me! Are you too scared to fuck me?!

–50th St & 5th Ave

Man talking to stranger outside peep show: No, no, no. This is a peep show. If you want to fuck someone, you have to go somewhere else.

–8th Ave, Midtown

Horny NYU hipster: I haven't had sex in 3 months! If I were a heroin addict I'd have been clean for 2 months already!

–NYU

Loud middle-aged woman on cell: And I was like, "Don't worry, lady, I'm not getting any action!"

–Stuyvesant Town

Overheard by: the libbernator

Old man to old lady: No, I will not bonk you!

–Avenue J & E 12 St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Robert

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Crazy, Druggies, Heroin, Hipsters, Hobos, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, Offers and requests, Old People, On Cell, Questions, Sex, Strangers, Stuyvesant Town, Time, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Playin'

Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.

–106th & Amsterdam

Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.

–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rahstah

Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!

–69th & Lexington

Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger

Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.

–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn

Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?

–Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Overheard by: James

Posted on August 13, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Coworkers, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Laptop, Offers and requests, On Cell, Players, Private Parts, Questions, Religion, Sex, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Video Games, Weirdness

Animal, Wednesday One-Liner, or Mineral?

Man trying on hat: Hey! Do I look like John Wayne in this hat? Watch out, pilgrim! I'm planting roses!

–Botanical Garden

Girl to friend: I need a twig or a leaf or an herb or somethin'.

–C Train

White guy on cell: It's the goddamn Cherry Blossom Festival… so get your ass out here.

–Outside Brooklyn Botanical Garden

Maintenance worker to another: Oh, come on! It's not working now. Let's try plugging it into the tree.

–42 St & 2nd Ave

Flower vendor: Shut up nigga, I'll slap you! Fresh roses!

–7th Ave & 26th

Overheard by: Todd

Posted on August 13, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bitch-slap, Brooklyn, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Coworkers, Friends, Girls, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Threats, Trees and plants, Vendors & Street Performers, White People

Mellow Yellow Wednesday One-Liners

Latina: I don't care what a guy says, I'm not gonna let him piss on me.

–Vesey Street & Broadway

Overheard by: Sam

Giggling four-year-old boy: Yeah, and there was a sign and it said, "Caution: someone peed here!"

–Waverly & W 11th

Bimbo: And he was like, "Sarah, you pissed the bed" and I was like, "Whaaaaat?" and he was like, "Sarah, get up, you pissed the fucking bed!"

–Theater District

Overheard by: Paul

Girl on cell: Alright, fine, but if you pee on me again, we're done!

–C Train

Overheard by: Laura

Guy, in disbelief: You mean you've never been pissed on before?!

–14th & Broadway

Overheard by: Josh

Girl: Would it be considered indecent exposure if I peed in the sink?

–Lyceum Theatre

Girl to friend: Her?! She totally splashes her urine.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: Ellen

Posted on August 6, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kids, Kink, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, West Village

When It's Dry and Ready, with Wednesday One-Liner I Shall Play

Professor: This episode contains a bunch of Jewish stereotypes, so I want to show a lot of it.

–Lincoln Center, Fordham University

Overheard by: Hartley

Boy with chinstrap and McDreamy quaff: Yo man, you tellin' me you never heard the story about when we got chased down by 1,000 Jews?!

–7-Eleven, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Brandi, Anna and a bunch of other people

Stunning black girl with big afro, to nebbishy guy eating Chinese food: I can be Jewish in three months. Does it require any money? No! Fuck you! I can be Jewish in three months!

–back garden at madame x

Overheard by: Erica

Woman walking past Young Frankenstein posters: Oh my god! Mel Brooks is like my favorite old Jew ever!! Well, except for Moses and Abraham.

–Hilton Theater

Overheard by: Roy

Hipster on cell: Your friend just came up to me, grabbed my nose, and asked, "Are you Jewish?"

–Piano's Lounge

Overheard by: Brittany Smith

Mysterious and intense voice amid grunts and groans: Oh yeah! Give it to me, you fucking Jewish dickhead!

–Building, 46th & 10th

Overheard by: Not a Sexual AntiSemite

Posted on August 6, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Education, Fordham, Girls, Hipsters, Insults, Judaism, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Movies, Nazis, On Cell, Questions, Teachers/Professors, Time, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-Liners Are the Stuff of Myth

Really pissed mom: And do you know what size unicorn they tried on her first? Medium.

–Macy's

Cafe employee, about pastries: Those look like fairy testicles.

–HopScotch Cafe

Overheard by: bildita

Guy yelling to passers-by: You're all materialistic, yuppie, vampire kings!

–W4th & Cornelia

Overheard by: greg

Man on cell: So Santa Claus will be there?

–Broadway & Wall St

Woman: When she was a newborn she looked exactly like Yoda, and then she grew up into Dopey.

–Penn Plaza

Five-year-old boy looking out of window: Ahh! I hate the sun! Vampires hate the sun!

–Q Train

Overheard by: LoRna

Posted on August 6, 2008
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Balls, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Holidays, Insults, Kids, Magic, Men, Moms, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

On Cell