7th-grade Asian girl: Well, it's a long journey to finding your soulmate.
7th-grade Asian boy: Yeah, I know.
7th-grade Asian girl: It's okay, we'll try again some other day.
–Q17 Bus
Overheard by: Susie
7th-grade Asian girl: Well, it's a long journey to finding your soulmate.
7th-grade Asian boy: Yeah, I know.
7th-grade Asian girl: It's okay, we'll try again some other day.
–Q17 Bus
Overheard by: Susie
Man on phone: Well, I got a shirt but it wasn't quite what I was looking for, so I'm gonna go to Whole Foods and get some breadsticks.
–Astor Place
Older, bespectacled white male at table with wife: Motherfuckin' tube socks…
–Jazz Standard, 27th & Park
Overheard by: V
6'6" man (earnestly): Honestly, if I were Hillary, I would never wear a pantsuit! You know what I mean?
–Bellevue Hospital
Overheard by: Ingwall
Cracker: I hate fighting rastas. Man, I really do. It's those hats…you never know what they're hiding in those fuckin' hats!
–Marcy & Broadway
Man: Do you realize you just offended a man carrying an organic tote bag?
–6 Train
Overheard by: wb
Barfly to bartender: Is that your belt or a wrinkle in the fabric of time?
–Thirsty Scholar, 2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Jas
Skater boy: I love Jennifer Aniston! I would fuck her and then leave her!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Laura
Grad student: I've been analyzing my love life from a symbolic interactionist perspective…
–Amsterdam Cafe
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy on cell: I love you…(defensively) Yes I do!
–Columbus Circle
Loud guy: You know what? Sometimes you've got to catch a few venereal diseases to find true love.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Kelsey
Man on cell: Then I thought that if I asked her out she would think that I think that she thinks that I think that she loves me.
–59th St & 8th Ave
Black girl behind the counter (after receiving a few text messages and calls): Why is everyone harassing me today? (sighs) I feel loved.
–Coldstone Creamery
Overheard by: Eli
Bus driver on loudspeaker: This bus is beautiful. We care about one another, we share our experiences, our dreams and aspirations. I love each and every one of y'all. So…that's what this is.
–X30 Bus
Overheard by: i just like him as a friend…
Six-year-old boy: Words, words, words, words! One day, there will be no words.
Seven-year-old sister: That will be a beautiful day.
–2nd Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: shmarls
Stoner guy: And then I realized that we are the reality of reality, get it?
Slightly less stoner looking girl: Wow. Okay. What else did you do your first day at work?
–St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Garuda
Biotech #1: Oh my god, there is no way she weighs 123 pounds. She is so fat!
Biotech #2: Oh my god I know! It’s ridiculous.
Biotech #1 (later): I hate it when people misuse the term “Kafkaesque”. It’s so annoying.
Biotech #2: I know, right? Postmodernism sucks.
–Good Restaurant, Greenwich Ave
Tourist mom, talking extremely loud: Nature means happiness.
Five-year-old son: Why?
Tourist mom: Because nature means life -look at how beautiful nature is.
Five-year-old son: Whoa! Now that’s nature.
Tourist mom: The trees are nice; the road not so much… Look at the sea of trains…
–LIRR
Overheard by: JUSTSHUT UP!
Guy: Is there such a thing as too hi-res?
Girl: Yea, it’s called real life.
–16th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: John Fischetti
Hipster girl: So I keep thinking inanimate objects are things.
Friend: They are things.
Hipster girl: I mean like thinking things.
–NYU
Professor: Old people will sign anything.
–Brooklyn College
Professor: What do you guys think of this poster? It annoys me. I would wear this on a t-shirt just to annoy people.
–Pratt Institute
Sociology professor: New York is a megalopolis, while Boston is only a metropolis, although Bostonites would argue that… Bostonites… Bostoners… Bostonians? Pshhh, whatever.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Philosophy professor, drawing: Here is the world… Here are some birds… And people. Here’s someone… Here’s someone hitting someone with an ax. Some people do axings… Some people don’t.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: no axings!
Old professor with French accent: Hot climate is associated in this book with passion or sex. I think that I, for example, really never did have sex in a sub-zero temperature.
–NYU Cantor Film Center
Overheard by: suddenly surrounded by students’ awkward snickers
Sociology professor: I’ll tell you a story that most people laugh hysterically at, but it actually makes me really sad… Kind of like Napoleon Dynamite.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
