Wednesday One-Liners Feel Like a Woman or Whatever

Asian girl: A tranny spat and peed on me last night… so I guess I'm okay.

–Screaming MiMi's Boutique

Overheard by: Nancy

Gay guy, after woman bumps into him: Did you just step on my vagina?

–A Train

College boy: So then I woke up and realized I was next to a tranny…

–Manhattan College

"Girl" sitting at the door: My panties are too small to hold my dick in.

–Williamsburg

Catholic school girl, carrying large backpack, to friend: I'm looking forward to leaving this bathroom a guy. A very effeminate guy, but still a guy.

–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Innocent Bathroom-goer

Posted on February 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Catholics, Clothing, College, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Height, On the Subway, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Sexuality, Smegma, Store, Students, Trannies, Vagina, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

…Whew!

Woman: You're getting married? You're getting married? You're getting married? To who??
Man: My wife.
Woman: Oh.

–W 3rd St & Thompson St

Overheard by: mr. pants

Posted on February 2, 2010
Family Ties, Marriage, Men, Questions, The Village, Women

Besides, Prices Are Always Inflated in the Park.

Hobo #1: I offered that squirrel five cents for sex.
Hobo #2: What's a squirrel going to do with a nickel?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Fogel

Posted on February 1, 2010
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Hobos, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Parks, Prostitution, Questions

Why Google Calendar Exists

Girl #1 to group of friends: Wait, I'm confused. Who here is evil today?
Girl #2: Me.
Girl #1: Just you?
Girl #2: Yeah, it's Thursday.
Girl #1: Oh, yeah.

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on February 1, 2010
Brooklyn, Girls, Questions, Time, Weirdness

If Ever We Needed a Festival Of Light Cuisine

Smoking NYU bro #1: Oh my god, dude! (pointing) Is that a new restaurant called Happy Hanukkah?
Smoking NYU bro #2: No, dude! That's a window with holiday decorations.
Smoking NYU bro #1, looking really sad: Oh.

–13th & 3rd

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on January 31, 2010
Holidays, Judaism, Names, Questions, Smokers & Smoking, Students, Union Square and East Village

Just for Starters, Build Her a Birdhouse

Thug on street: Hey, girl! You lookin' fine. I'm gonna do… things to you. Yup, lots of… things.
Thug friend: Like, what you gonna do to her?
Thug: Things, man. I said things.

–125th St & Morningside Ave

Posted on January 31, 2010
Beauty, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Thugs

Well, Could Somebody Please Slap Her?

First grade teacher, leaving park after field trip: Okay everybody. (counts kids) Oh my god! Where's Kate?
First grade girl with glasses: She's having a breakdown.

–Near Trinity Day School Campus

Posted on January 28, 2010
Health and Hygiene, Parks, Questions, School, Students, Teachers/Professors

Wednesday One-Liners Got Game

Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?

–Broadway & 103rd St

Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!

–Washington Square

Overheard by: RAR!

Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.

–Uptown D Train

Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!

–Pub, 45th & 3rd

Overheard by: Pub crawler

Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.

–High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny