Woman leaving train to suit with open fly: (inaudible)
Suit (loudly): What is “the barn door is open?” What is that supposed to mean?
–6 Train
Woman leaving train to suit with open fly: (inaudible)
Suit (loudly): What is “the barn door is open?” What is that supposed to mean?
–6 Train
20-something woman: Why do I have a phone number for "Shrek" in my phone?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Poogins
Older, bald man on phone: Mom! I told you, you don't have to call me everyday. Just call me once a month…to see if I'm alive!
–Times Square
40-something suit on cell: You know what would be fine, mom? If you just stopped calling. That'd be fine! Just fine! Of course I want to hear from you, but just stop calling. It's over. Over. Don't call no more.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Oedipus
Crazy lady on cell (at the top of her lungs): Yo, douchebag! Where are my fucking children? I want to see my children. You owe my $10,000 in child support. And you know what? They're not even your kids! Ha! Oh, and my phone's dead.
–AirTrain
White girl on phone: Well, on the phone he doesn't even sound black. So just introduce him to your parents over the phone…
–28th & Broadway
Overheard by: Vanessa
Lunching lady: She's 718, acts like she's 212…but really, she's so 516!
–4 Train
Overheard by: JC
Casual businessman #1: Boise's good…
Casual businessman #2: Boise's reeeaaall good…
–Houston & Ludlow
Crazy guy to suit: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
Suit: Get the fuck away from me before I stab you.
–D Train
Overheard by: Oh snap!
Disoriented stranger to random businessman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find the bus to New York?
Random businessman: This is New York.
Disoriented stranger: This is?!
Random businessman: Yeah, you're in New York.
Disoriented stranger: Ooh! Really?! Oh, now I see!
–5th Ave & 48th St
Overheard by: Earl Weinz
Guy on cell: I'm at the corner of West 4th Street and West 12th Street. Which sounds completely ridiculous, I know.
–Outside Cubbyhole
Girl on cell with boyfriend: Yeah, we got lost… We're somewhere in Yonkers.
–Bleecker & W 10th St
Loud tourist on cell: I'm in Rockefeller Plaza. Just look for a guy with a Starbucks cup.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: linda
Blonde on cell: Yeah, I'm in the 'hood.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman on cell, directing friend to find her: Do you see a really tall man holding an umbrella up high? I'm near a really tall man holding an umbrella. …he's very attractive.
–Concert on The Great Lawn
Overheard by: sternie
Suit on cell: Unfortunately I'm in the Financial District right now… Man, I wanna come up there and make love to both of you.
–Financial District
Black suit on cell : What'cha mean you can't get a job? Tupac's been dead for years and the nigga's still putting out albums!
–Center St & Pearl St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Friendly suit to friend: It's not about getting the work done! It's about…well, I don't know what it's about.
–Vessey & Broadway
Overheard by: mondo man
Suit in next office: Okay, I have officially hated today! (phone rings) No! Fuck you!
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Guy on cell: So, did you find me a job yet? (pause) Well, I want something that isn't challenging, pays well, and doesn't care when I show up.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Cori
Guy on cell (about to start bank teller shift): Come on and hurry up. I'm trying to get drunk before I start my second job.
–Chase Bank, Times Square
Young woman yelling into cell after being refused entrance: Goddamn, whose dick I got to suck to get my career started? Tell me where they at!
–Lobby, Herald Square Towers
(looking down at Washington Square Park's currently under-construction fountain)
Girl: Oh, is that where the World Trade Center used to be?
–Kimmel Center
Bensonhurst Italian guy on phone: I can't fuckin' wait for the Freedom Tower.
–Financial District
Suit on cell: Does anyone know where 9/11 is?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jeffrey
Tourist: Is this the train to 9/11?
–R Train
Confused tourist (thinking he's looking at the WTC site): Will you look at that? They put a fucking graveyard in there! I mean, what the fuck?
–St. Paul's Church, Broadway & Fulton
Tourist: My favorite is my 9/11 Santa.
–Museum Shop, 53rd b/w 5th & 6th
Young suit #1 (holding pack of gum): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: No.
Young suit #1: Dude, do you have a dollar? All I have is four hundreds.
Young suit #2: Sorry, I only have five hundreds.
Young suit #1: Ah, I hate it when that happens.
(the two suits leave)
Suit #3 (walking in): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: Don't make me kick yo' ass, brotha.
–Deli, General Motors Office Building
Overheard by: don't look at me, I make $10 an hour
Thug on phone: Yo, man, you know that bitch I rent my room from? Those titties are triple F or some shit, man! (pause) How do I know that? Cause I looked through her drawers, that's how! (pause) Cause whenever I talk to that bitch, those things are in my face! I had to find out!
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: redshikari
Dude: I have barometric boobies!
–Jujutsu Class, 13th & 7th
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude to friend: Dude, sometimes you just have to say no to boobs.
–St. Mark's Chipotle
College student: Those tits in that shirt look awful… I wanna see cleavage, not leverage.
–Columbia University
Suit on cell: You should get paid more because of how big your boobs are!
–74th & 3rd
Overheard by: Joanna L.
