Wedne$day One-Liner$

Blonde: But I want my money to have personality.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Late Night Doritos

Guy in Sweeny Todd t-shirt: Oh my god, we have to go back, we forgot the cardboard! How can we make money without cardboard?!

–McDonald's, 3rd Ave

Eastern European man: I never waited for an ATM in my life! What the fuck!?

–Bank of America, University & 14th

Well-dressed middle aged woman: Money is so expensive these days…

–Filene's Basement, Union Square

Overheard by: Bargin Shopper

Woman in line for general admission, to companion: An $18 museum? You'd better look at fucking everything, and touch some stuff too!

–Guggenheim Museum

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on April 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bank, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, Money & Class, More museums, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Street, The Village, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Was She Cute?

Guy #1: What baby?
Guy #2: No, I said I slept like a baby.

–8th Ave & 15th St

Posted on April 17, 2010
Babies, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Robbing the Cradle, The Village, Weirdness

These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!

Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.

–Battery Maritime Building

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?

–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Derek

Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.

–Metro North Railroad

Overheard by: Jessica S.

Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!

–Grand Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Angelina

30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?

–H&M

Overheard by: julia

Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!

–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on April 14, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinese, Clerks, Customers, Drunks, Elevators, Food, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Office, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Tourists, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners' Cocktail Hour Started Back in the Eighties

Cop to another: Are you drunk yet?

–Corner of 145th St

Frustrated-sounding NYU student to friend: Well, why don't you get a girl and you can just pretend she's drunk?

–Washington Square

Future rabbi: So my philosophy professor, Lenny Kravitz, told us we'll be drinking scotch in class tomorrow…

–4th & Broadway

Drunk black guy arguing on phone: Man, you need to stop drinkin'. Not only is yo speech gettin' slurred, but yo brains is gettin' slurred too!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Ashley

Dude to friend: I swear to god, every time he gets a little buzzed he thinks he's Austin Powers.

–40th & 7th

Overheard by: thivnav

Posted on April 7, 2010
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Education, Friends, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jews, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Music, Names, One-liners, Parks, Philosophy, Questions, Relationships, School and studying, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Trains Not Subway, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners

See, You Should've Opened With That

Hobo: Hey, do you ladies have a smoke?
Ladies: No. (they keep walking)
Hobo: Do you ladies want to come back and sit with me awhile?

–3rd & Sullivan

Overheard by: Currer Bell

Posted on April 6, 2010
Hobos, Offers and requests, Smoking, The Village, Women

Pretending They're Good Is Beyond Me

Queer #1: So, I was invited for vegan cupcakes tomorrow.
Queer #2: Ew!
Queer #1: I know. I don't want to have to get up that early for vegan cupcakes.

–Christopher St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Colleen