One Wednesday One-Liner to Live

Woman, pushing baby in stroller through flock of pigeons and hearing him laugh hysterically: Yeah, yeah, sometimes it's the little things in life.

–76th St

Overheard by: jaytro

Guerrilla Top of the Rock marketer: Carpet munching can get you far in life.

–Rockefeller Center

Twelve-year-old girl at Tila Tequila's book signing: This is the greatest day of my life.

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: Helene and Kristina

Short fat white woman to tall older man: Well, I really have no problem with spending life in jail. I really don't.

–Father Demo Square

Man, not moving: This place is draining the life out of me.

–IKEA Store

Overheard by: Les Izzmore

Train operator: This is a life-altering bound r train. Prepare to be amazed. Next stop, Nirvana.

–R Train

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Books & Writing, Buddha, Clerks, Fat People, Laughter, Licking, Men, On the Subway, One-liners, Prison, Public Transportation, Rockefeller Center, Sensory Experiences, Store, Street, The Village, Tweens, Vagina, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

With This Ring, I Thee Wednesday One-Liner

Middle aged black woman on cell: Does your mother know we're married yet?

–Forever 21, Union Square

Overheard by: Sophie

2nd grader: See! This is what happens when a man marries another man! They get divorced!

–22nd & Lexington

Angry man to woman: They just had to get fucking married two days before fucking Christmas!

–Century 21

Overheard by: Amina

Dejected guy, slumping on stairs: Will you marry me?

–11th St & b/w University Place & Broadway

Overheard by: Alex Bailey

Guy on phone: She already said yes, so I don't have to get her a ring, right? (pause) Well, why do I have to get her a ring if she already said yes?

–18th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jessica Bergin

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Black People, Breaking Up, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Insults, Kids, Marriage, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesdays Get a Headache Without Their One-Liners

Barista: Basically someone bought a coffee Friday, came back Monday and said it's cold. Um, yeah. It's three days later.

–Starbucks, Canal & Broadway

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Woman, walking out of Starbucks empty-handed: Well, at least now we know where we can get coffee. You know, in the morning?

–Starbucks, Times Square

Overheard by: David Landfair

NYU student to coffee cart man: Can I get a venti-large coffee?

–Greene St & Washington Place, The Village

Overheard by: Jane

Male coworker: I was just going to turn water into coffee, like they do in the bible.

–Broadway

Hyper five-year-old to mom: Hey look, Starbucks. Let's go to Starbucks. Starbucks! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Juxie

Mother to hysterical baby in stroller: What do you want, huh? Coffee and a cigarette?

–Outside Bloomingdale's

Overheard by: kteezy

Posted on April 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Books & Writing, Clerks, Coffee, Compare/Contrast, Jesus, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, One-liners, Should've Used a Condom, Smoking, Soho, Starbucks, Store, Street, Students, The Village, Time, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Also, I Kinda Need to Rob You Now

Deli counter woman calling name on sandwich ticket: Wave bandanna? (no response) Wave bandanna?
Young white guy: Oh yeah, that's me. I put down my rap name.

–Balducci's, 8th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Margo

Posted on April 12, 2009
Clerks, Delis, Music, Nicknames & name calling, The Village, Wiggers

Turns Out “He” Was a Poodle.

French tourist #1, watching crowd taking pictures outside university cafe: What's going on inside?
French tourist #2: He's making pizza.

–University Place & Waverly

Posted on April 11, 2009
Foreigners, Pictures, Pizza, The Village, Tourism

Long Story Short, We Have a Fourth for Poker Tonight.

Girl #1: I saw the most crack-whorish looking girl today in Starbucks.
Girl #2: Now, was she crack-whorish or heroine chic? Because there is a difference.
Girl #1: No. She was definitely a crack whore. I mean. Imagine Courtney Love…now imagine Courtney Love run over by a train.

–W 4th

Overheard by: xanaxfashoin

Posted on April 3, 2009
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Hard Drugs, Physical appearance, Questions, The Village

Like I Was a Freshman All Over Again

Girl #1: So did you make out?
Girl #2: No, but I threw up in my mouth a little.

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: I hope you had a mint afterwards

Posted on April 2, 2009
Body Parts, Girls, Questions, Sex, The Village

I'm Always Like, “Should I Walk Straight, or in Circles? I Forget!”

Blonde European: I get lost between the avenues.
Brunette European: Me too!

–16th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Jenny and LaLa

Posted on March 29, 2009
Foreigners, Girls, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism

What Did I Tell You About Maryland Girls?

Sanitation worker #1: Man, I can't believe she broke it off after all I did for her.
Sanitation worker #2: Seriously! Them women are so ungrateful.
Sanitation worker #1: I put so much into that relationship, and bought her all this shit, and all I'm left with is crabs.

–Houston & Greene

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on March 29, 2009
Blue-collar workers, Breaking Up, Money & Class, Relationships, STDs, The Village

And Only the Stupid People Would Die!

Teen #1: Man, this world is too overpopulated!
Teen #2: You know, if we changed all the “walk” signs to “don't walk,” and all the “don't walk” signs to “walk,” the problem would be solved!

–14th St & Broadway

Overheard by: that could work

Posted on March 28, 2009
Accidents, Death, Teens, The Village, Weirdness