Rally girl protesting NYU fees: We're taking back NYU for ourselves!
Random man: Yeah!
Rally girl: We shouldn't have to pay more than we already do!
Random man: No way, you should have to!
Rally girl: We don't owe them anything!
Random man: That's why I don't pay taxes!
Girl: Yeah! (pause) What?
Random man: I have to go.
–W 4th & University
Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: chiddox
Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!
–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx
Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker
Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!
–Times Square
30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?
–7th St & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Juicy
High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.
–Q27 Bus Stop
Overheard by: cough.cough.cough
Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.
–Times Square
Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?
–University & 10th St
5th grader to friends on stairs: So my brother burned a hole in the floor so we could spy on the neighbors.
–The Spence School
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Hot 20-something: If another mediocre man hits on me after another mediocre meal I am going to burn the city down!
–1 Train
20-something to friend: The house burnt down, and now my dad has no eyebrows. No really, he has no eyebrows.
–Thompkin Square Park
Yuppie guy: You know, I think heartburn is the best kind of burn someone could have.
–Bleecker & Jones
Overheard by: Jas
Five-year-old boy, singing: Let the train, let the train, let the train be on fire!
(continues for a few minutes) Let China, let China, let China be on fire!
–F Train
Subway conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is being held due to a…slight fire at the next station.
–C Train
Overheard by: G.
Announcer guy: Hey girl, I love your face. And Charmin loves the other end!
–Charmin NYC Restrooms, Times Square
Overheard by: Nathan
Drunk boyfriend: Thanksgiving is over, and so is our love!
–Grand & Leonard, Williamsburg
Overheard by: fanny
Subway busker, about next song: This is not a love song. The reason that this is not a love song is because I don't like her anymore.
–Time Square
Philosophy professor on last day of class: If you love something, set it free. And if it flies away, run after it and kill it.
–City College
Overheard by: Dan Lurie
20-something guy to friend sharing iPod with him: I would do anything to live there…I would pretend to be in love.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Woman on cell: I will skin and tar you. (pause) Oh, I love you!
–W Broadway & W 3rd St
Drunk sorority girl #1: My feet hurt.
Creepy hobo: Do you need someone to rub 'em for you, baby?
Drunk sorority girl #2: Violated! Violated!
–Bleecker & McDougal
Little boy, pointing to staircase leading to basement: Daddy, what's downstairs?
Dad: Hell.
–Clothing Store, NoHo
Little girl to woman walking by: Oh, look–another person, sooooo interesting. It's not like we haven't seen enough of those today.
–D'Agnostino's, Greenwich & Barrow
Overheard by: Margo
Boy walking in church to mom: And when we walk in we'll hear Gregorian chants.
–Trinity Church
Four-year-old boy, after plane's smooth landing: Whoa, that was solid!
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: jen
Kid at birthday party: I thought they were feeding us ice cream, not shit!
–McDonald's, Bayside
Adorable child having a temper tantrum: I don't want to walk, I want to go in the stroller!
(mother ignores him) I'm melting… I'm meeelllting!
–New York Transit Museum
Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna
Hobo, shivering violently on freezing night: Couldja spare somethin'? Help me out?
(tall guy gives him a dollar)
Hobo: I would appreciate it if you could spare one hundred dollars.
Tall guy, laughing: Tell me about it!
Hobo, still shivering: I'm tryin' to get to Hawaii! Alo-ha!
–7th & 14th
Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Alice
Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists!
–44th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: would never buy that shit
NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you!
–8th & Broadway
Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously)
–Union Square
Overheard by: Glad I had a map
Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists.
–51 & Lexington
Overheard by: Miriam
Random guy #1: Have you ever been with an Asian girl?
Random guy #2: Yeah, as of last night I have.
Random guy #1: Ah. Mission in life accomplished, my friend.
–Washington Place
