Woman: Actually, now that I think about it, I guess I’ve had sex in both of the Sheratons.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Erich Pelletier
Woman: Actually, now that I think about it, I guess I’ve had sex in both of the Sheratons.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Erich Pelletier
Gay guy, asking girl while waiting for bathroom: So how does this outfit look?
Girl: Uhmm… It's … good.
Gay guy: Shut up!
Girl: What?
Gay guy: If you don't like it then just tell me!
Girl: Do you want the truth or support?
Gay guy: Support sounds good.
–Time Square
Guy #1: He looked like a taller, more imposing Mikhail Gorbachev
Guy #2: Yeah, sans blotch.
–Times Square
Overheard by: TP
Guy selling Obama condoms: Yes, you can… get laid! Don't do the big apple without protection. Obama condoms, get them here!
Frumpy Southern tourist lady: Oh my god! They are actually condoms. That is my President's face. It does not belong on a condom.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sam
Small boy: Mom, I found a kitten!
Mother: Name him Cletus.
Small boy: Cletus, you my only nigga.
–Nokia Theatre
Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.
–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx
Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket
Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.
–Madison Square Park
Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…
–41st & 8th
Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.
–Church St
Overheard by: Dara
Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Crazy man: Girl, you been married?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: You divorced?
Teenager girl: Yes.
Crazy man: How many times you been married?
(teenager girl holds out five fingers)
Crazy man: Damn girl, I've only been married once and we're still together.
–Time Square Shuttle
Overheard by: Holly
Old lady: Good lord, I thought maybe you’d fallen in the toilet again.
Old man: That wasn’t my fault and you know it!
Old lady: That is the last time I ever clean the toilet seat and let you sit on it right after.
Old man: Can we just enjoy the show?
–Majestic Theatre, West 44th Street
Hyper teenage blonde: Hey, know what I just realized?
20-something blonde sister: Okay, wait. In the interest of saving time, I'm gonna pull my hand back like so before you start talking. Now you can go ahead and say what you wanted to say, but just know that if it's something ignorant or retarded, I'm gonna slap you out of your shoes and right off the sidewalk, and then keep slapping you until we get home. Is whatever you want to say worth it?
(long pause)
Hyper teenage blonde: No?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Really want to know what she was gonna say
Comedy ticket guy: Hey, do you like to laugh?
Goth chick: No. Do I look like I like to laugh?
Comedy ticket guy: My bad.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Laura M.
