Crazy hobo to man trying to ignore him: Did you know that Chinese has over 50,000 dialects?
Uninterested man: Wow, that's a lot…
Crazy hobo: And there are 18 provinces in Canada, not 4!
Uninterested man: You don't say…
(very long pause)
Crazy hobo: So, what kind of medication are you on?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Pete
Vendor: Can I ask you a question?
Girl: No.
Vendor: Can I grab your ass?
Girl: No.
–Time Square
Rangers fan, about two players who are brothers: No, they're like the same age. They've gotta be like four or five months apart.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Blonde to blonde friend, looking outside from Legally Blonde theater: Oh, wow, it's still light out.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jaime and Bridget
Girl to friend: I don't even know how long ago one minute ago was.
–New Year's Eve, Times Square
Overheard by: Kristina
Girl, pointing to turkey walking around: Look at the peacock, it's so pretty!
–Central Park
Lady on cell: I told her she was an ungrateful b-i-c-t-h!
–14D Bus
Overheard by: Evan Wilson
Barista: Basically someone bought a coffee Friday, came back Monday and said it's cold. Um, yeah. It's three days later.
–Starbucks, Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, walking out of Starbucks empty-handed: Well, at least now we know where we can get coffee. You know, in the morning?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: David Landfair
NYU student to coffee cart man: Can I get a venti-large coffee?
–Greene St & Washington Place, The Village
Overheard by: Jane
Male coworker: I was just going to turn water into coffee, like they do in the bible.
–Broadway
Hyper five-year-old to mom: Hey look, Starbucks. Let's go to Starbucks. Starbucks! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Juxie
Mother to hysterical baby in stroller: What do you want, huh? Coffee and a cigarette?
–Outside Bloomingdale's
Overheard by: kteezy
Jersey girl #1: You know, I've always wondered how New Yorkers know when you're not from here.
Jersey girl #2: I know! It's like they have a sixth sense or something.
–Times Square
Overheard by: we just know
Headline by: Botticus
Runners-Up:
· “Close Your Map, Put the Lens Cap On, and I’ll Tell You” – Mr. B
· “No, They Just Know How to Use the Other Five” – Carson B
· “Pidgins, Our Eyes in the Sky” – Nick Pollotta
· “The Secret Handshake, Busting Tourists for 150 Years!” – Double Pumper
Girl, as UPS truck passes: Would you rather call FedEx or UPS?
Guy: I don't mind, as long as my package gets to where it needs to be.
Girl: Where does your package need to go?
Guy: My package needs to go up in your sister in Virgina.
–Time Square
Tourist teen: Scientology? Is that like that crazy Darwinism stuff where they think people are monkeys?
–TKTS
Guy: Well, 20 million years ago you were a monkey too!
–NYC Lab School
Overheard by: T
Teen to friend: So once the car is full of monkey poop, then you trade it in for another one.
–Chelsea
Hobo sitting in subway station: Woman ain't want no man in her bed…she want a monkey in her bed…ooohh ooh oh ahh ahhh ahhh. (makes monkey noises)
–E Train
Overheard by: Ja9
Comedy show hawker: You will all have autism when you're done with this show. And you'll be having sex like monkeys and bunnies.
–Times Square
Overheard by: fluffyautist
Little boy watching monkey, to father: I bet he wouldn't leave his kid at a Wal-Mart.
–Bronx Zoo
Girl #1: …like that time we saw Zack and Miri make a porno.
Girl #2: That was pretty deep.
Girl #1: But not as deep as Cancun.
Girl #2: True, true.
–Times Square
Street vendor, yelling: Anyone need coach purses? Anyone need stolen shit?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sarah and Andrew
Black guy holding purses: Yo! Who wants to buy some stolen shit? I got some nice stolen shit over here.
–Times Square
Overheard by: A Little Too Intrigued
Man selling bootleg designer bags: Anyone want some stolen shit?
–45th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Claire
Yelling man peddling counterfeit purses: Get your stolen shit! Everyone needs some stolen shit! It's stolen in New York, so it still counts as being from New York!
–Time Square
Thug holding handbags: Who want some stolen shit? I'm not gonna lie in 2009. I got Dolce & Gabanna and Louis Vuitton. Who want some stolen shit?
–Times Square
Guy: So I was talking to this hot girl the other day, but then she told me she liked Bush.
Girl: Oh…she's a lesbian?
Guy: No! Bush!
Girl: Oh, the band.
Guy: No, Bush! She's a Republican!
Girl: Wait. What?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: J.E.
