Wednesday Lindsay-Lohaners

Gay guy, angrily looking at woman eating sausages: And that is why I hate lesbians!

–Gay Pride Parade

Man on cell: I went to San Francisco last month to find me a lesbian girlfriend.

–Big Apple BBQ

Overheard by: skibs

Angry lady to another: Why would I have sex with another woman?

–Greenwich Village

Hobo on platform: Men… do not have sex with women! Any man who has sex with a woman should be arrested. Women do not like sex–women are all lesbians!

–7 Train

Crazy hobo to young girls on bench: You girls are a box full of lesbians!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Daphne

Posted on March 10, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Crazies, Crime and Punishment, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Hobos, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

The Most Helpful an MTA Employee Has Ever Been

Hobo: I need to get to Tokyo.
MTA lady: Well, honey, go outside, make a left and take the 6 Uptown to Canal Street, cuz that's the closest you're ever gonna get.

–City Hall Station

Overheard by: wheresthetrain

Posted on February 15, 2010
Clerks, Directions, Hobos, Public Transportation, Subway Stations, Travel

Wednesday One-Liners Go Animal Crackers

Burly father to daughter, passing grizzly bears: I have no compassion for stuffed animals.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Tarah

Guy to friend: I'm totally going to try to hook up with a dolphin when I'm in Cozumel.

–St. Mark's & 3rd

Girl: I would love to have sex with a cheetah!

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

Girl carrying reindeer head on bicycle rickshaw: It's not a moose head, it's a reindeer!

–4th Ave & 3rd St

Woman on cell: So are you still dating the tortoise man? (pause) So is this a good or bad thing?

–Bergen & Court

Overheard by: Staying away from the herpetarium

Posted on February 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Body Parts, Bronx Science, Dads, Dating, Friends, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

And I Thought You Supported a Woman's Right to Shoes?

Tourist girl: We still have to make it to Williamsburg! When are we gonna do that?
Tourist guy: Why? What's in Williamsburg?
Tourist girl: Shoes… For one.

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: Rubie

Posted on February 6, 2010
Shoes, Shopping, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Union Square and East Village

You Sound Exactly Like Your Mother.

Dad: If you don't behave you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: If you don't behave, you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: Well, if you decide to act like this again, then we aren't taking you to Hawaii.
Little girl: That's fine… I don't want to go to Hawaii. I hate traveling with you.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Jbak

Posted on January 28, 2010
Airports, Comebacks, Dads, Family Ties, Gripes, JFK Airport, Kids, Parents, Threats, Travel, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Translation: She Loves Her Mushrooms.

Woman: So I brought Elizabeth to New York and she was obsessed with escalators!
Friend: What?
Woman: Yea, every store we went to she had to ride the escalator! She got mad at me if she saw one that I didn't take her on. I had all this stuff planned for her: shopping, a bus tour, a Broadway musical… she just wanted to ride escalators!
Friend: That's hilarious. How old is she?
Woman: Eighteen.

–FIlene's Basement Escalators, Union Square

Overheard by: K Melv

Posted on January 7, 2010
Age/Aging, Anger Management, Friends, Shopping, Store, Tourism, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

That Advil Commercial That Never Made It to TV

Woman to man she just met: I live in Brooklyn, and I'm on my way to see my man in the Bronx. My mother said to me, “must be some kinda love if you travel all the way to the Bronx for a man!”
Man: Uh-huh! That's right! It's got to be good lovin', too!
Woman: You know what I'm saying? Don't talk to me 'bout no headache, 'cause I can't do this everyday!

–1 Train

Posted on December 31, 2009
Health and Hygiene, Love, On the Subway, Parents, Passengers, Strangers, Travel

Wednesday One-Liner Is Performance

20-something woman on cell: So I'm like, "Be a man and go in the ladies' room!"

–19th & 7th

Overheard by: tycho anomaly

40-something suit on cell: Why do I have to be the girl?

–University Place & 14th St

Overheard by: rich

Meathead: To the point where the hottest women in Thailand are men. But I mean, no homo or anything.

–Uptown 5 Train

Overheard by: Can't vouch for this

Woman on cell: So yeah, men and women are different. Anyway…

–High Line Park

Overheard by: hudson williams-eynon

Guy, looking at friend's iPhone: Ugh, I really didn't need to see shemale penis today.

–99 Below Restaurant

Overheard by: Calvin SC

Posted on November 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, iPod, Meatheads, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Street, Suits, The Village, Trannies, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Stimulate the Economy

Tourist, loudly and proudly: They have this store at the mall!

–Louis Vuitton, 5th Ave

College girl: The second floor was pointless. It was, like, just furniture.

–Ikea, Brooklyn

Woman on cell: I'm not in a store! I know what a store looks like!

–Tompkins Square Park

Perturbed NYU chick, about New Orleans: Hopefully I will survive there for two years. They don't have H&M! Or Bloomingdale's or Anthropologie. They don't have Loehmann's…

–NYU Office

Overheard by: Melanie

Middle-aged guy passing clothing store with shirtless male models at front doors: Hollister? What is it, a ladies club inside?

–NoHo

Overheard by: Arielle

Posted on October 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Fashion, Men, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Store, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Make Your Eyes Water

Young man to another: And I was like, "No, man. A girl ain't supposed to smell like that, yo."

–Broadway & 37th St

Overheard by: glm

Loud Long Island woman to drunk friends: Yeah, I got really used to that smell once he came back from Nepal…

–LIRR

Guy to girl: I don't want to bring home a girl who smells like urine.

–36th & 5th

Hipster 20-something to preteen sister: This does not smell like Costa Rica! (pauses, as though to make sure) 14th Street in New York City does not smell like Costa Rica!

–14th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: David

Man complaining to friend: If she does that one more time… I mean, if that bitch comes home one more time with her breath smelling like some other guy's dick, I swear to fucking god… I'll leave her.

–Times Square

Overheard by: drekdude

Posted on October 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Infidelity, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Sisters, Street, The Village, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Travel