Wednesday One-Liners Fail the Purity Test

Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.

–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jaina Wald

Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Water

Overheard by: Aubrie

Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?

–Central Park

Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?

–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus

Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Natalie

Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broadway

Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!

–45th & Lex

Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum!

–34th St

Overheard by: naidababy

Posted on January 30, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Central Park, Condoms, Duane Reade, Global Geography, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Orgy, Penis, Preppies, Sex, STDs, Suits, Teens, Three is Company, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The Drugs Might Have Something to Do With It

Asian girl: She said she let him do her in the butt for drugs!
Asian guy: That’s weird because she’s so conservative.

–E 9th St

Posted on January 26, 2016
Asians, Backdoor, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Politics, Prostitution, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners, Literally

Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!

–14th b/w 3rd & 4th

Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)

–Bowling Green

Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!

–McCarren Park, Brooklyn

(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)

–Hudson Line Train

Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!

–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway

Overheard by: Suze V

Posted on January 22, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Balls, Brooklyn, Conductors, Cum, Insults, Kids, Men, Moms, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Passengers, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Visual Art, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

It's Like Sleeping With a Very Hairy Lesbian

Woman in workout clothes: It definitely does not grow with age because he's 23 and he has the tiniest penis.
Friend: Yeah, I totally agree…

–Union Square

Overheard by: squeaky

Posted on January 21, 2016
Age/Aging, Default, Friends, Penis, Union Square and East Village, Women

I Love That Photo Where She’s Holding the Thesaurus Between Her Thighs

Girl #1: Well, she does all that work for Playboy -which I really admire.
Girl #2: Yeah. And I like her because she’s a little dorky.
Girl #1: Totally.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Posted on January 20, 2016
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Porn, Union Square and East Village

Meet the Metaphysical Snookie

Youngish man: What does it all mean?
Female friend: What? Life?
Youngish man: Yeah.
Female friend: Poorly maintained leather for the most part.

–11th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Sukhdev

Posted on January 11, 2016
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Guys, Philosophy, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Aw Jeez, I’m Sorry –Don’t Fuckin’ Cry, Okay?

McSuit #1: Do you wanna head to the subway?
McSuit #2: You mean Subway, like the restaurant?
McSuit #1: No, I mean subway, like the fuckin’ subway.

–7th & Bowery

Posted on December 22, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Offers and requests, Public Transportation, Questions, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Violence, Words

That’s How I Got Her

Little girl walks by with her mother.

Hipster chick to friend: Oh my god, she’s so adorable! I just want to steal her!
Mother, turning around: Thank you.

–Union Square

Posted on December 22, 2015
Moms, Thievery, Union Square and East Village

And No One Got the “Norwegian” Joke

20-something guy, holding long wooden board: Hey, can you spare some change for me and my wood to get a hooker?
Blonde party girl passing by, rubbing wood in sexual way: Oh, I like your wood…
20-something guy: Oh, thank you. (to girl sitting next to him) You'd think someone would give me money just for making them laugh, but no.

–St. Mark's b/w 2nd & 3rd

Overheard by: TR

Posted on December 17, 2015
Bimbettes, Girls, Guys, Laughter, Money & Class, Panhandling, Prostitution, Union Square and East Village

Union Square and East Village