Black guy to Asian girl passerby: Excuse me, I don't want to be rude, but I've always wanted to have sex with an oriental chick. So…can we get a room or something?
Asian girl: Uhm…it's “Asian,” not “oriental,” 'k? (she walks off)
–69th St & 5th Ave
Black guy to Asian girl passerby: Excuse me, I don't want to be rude, but I've always wanted to have sex with an oriental chick. So…can we get a room or something?
Asian girl: Uhm…it's “Asian,” not “oriental,” 'k? (she walks off)
–69th St & 5th Ave
Weary mom with two kids: I'm afraid today is almost too much for mommy.
Toddler: Why?
Weary mom: Because we have to get Sylvia (motions to stroller) home before she falls asleep, and we're pushing our luck.
Toddler: We can do it.
Weary mom, sighing: I admire your spirit.
Toddler: What's “spirit”?
Weary mom: It means your attitude. Your confidence.
Toddler, with renewed energy: We can do it!
–Railway Station Platform
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Kid on scooter: Where are the brakes on this?
Kid on scooter #2: What is “brakes?”
–Sunset Park
Overheard by: blistxaddict
Loud bridge and tunnel chick #1, reading the menu: Can someone translate this for me? What is “veal”?
Loud bridge and tunnel chick #2: Oh, oh, I've heard of that! It's a kind of fish.
–Serafina on Lafayette
Overheard by: Vivian Brodie
Girl to friend: I know, man! I was like, "Expelliarmus!"
–116th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Bahnahd
College guy to his friends: If you use the word "status quo" in a paper, you're guaranteed to get at least an A.
–Cental Park
Overheard by: dizzle
Smug dude: He told me he needed a dictionary to have a conversation with me. I mean, just because instead of saying…um…like…well, instead of a short word…I use a big one.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ivory Girl
Old man to another: What's that word mean, "egotistical"? You blindsided me with that word! Egotistical!
–Reading Room, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jessie
Woman on cell: You never heard of tilapia? You got to get out of the hood!
–St. John's & Classon
Overheard by: Mollie
Teenager #1: Yeah, I'm ambi-dicks-trous.
Teenager #2: What?
Teenager #1: Yeah, I can write with both my dicks.
–West Village
Drunk man: Me and fat Dave, we're goin' out old school!
Female coworker: Old school?
Drunk man: Yeah, Hoboken!
–Restaurant, 52nd & 10th
Blonde #1: So what exactly is in a piña colada?
Blonde #2: It's pineapple, coconut, and, um…lada.
–3rd Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: Annie Costa
Hipster kid: I should just stop wearing underwear altogether.
–Loews Cinema, 84th St
Hipster girl on cell: Is it "i before e" or "e before i"? "E before i," right? I knew it was "i before e"!
–11th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jerome
Drunk hipster girl to boyfriend: I can't afford to buy drugs, I have to buy lunch on Wednesday.
–A Train
Overheard by: Jesse Jack
Angry hipster girl: Why are there so many ATMs everywhere?!
–6th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Cash Money
Hipster girl, commenting on painting to friend: God, you see diamonds everywhere now. They're like the new antlers.
–Bushwick Art Loft
Guy #1: Wait, so they make oranges out of meat?
Guy #2: No, they just call that part “the meat of the fruit.” There's no actual meat involved.
Guy #1: That's retarded! Who comes up with this shit?
Guy #2: I guess the people who grow the shit.
–Mott & Canal
