Guy: I totally agree with the idea behind Family Ties.
–Grassroots Tavern, St. Marks Place
Guy: I totally agree with the idea behind Family Ties.
–Grassroots Tavern, St. Marks Place
Petite woman: Just because you are taller doesn’t mean you are stronger. I have more power in my finger than that broad! One flick from me and she’d be on her ass!
–43rd & 6th
Guy on cell: I’ve got the dogs. I’ve got your mother’s latte. I’ve got your cappuccino, and I’m willing to go back for a movie but you’ve got to drive me…Hello? Hello?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: amb
Chick: My boss never actually reads her e-mail. I forwarded her a message with someone’s address, but she only read the first line and responded “Where’s the address”? I mean, scroll down bitch! Jeeeeez.
–Maiden Lane
Overheard by: J
Yoga instructor: I am totally never going back to Dop Dop again. They kept telling people I’m really a brunette.
–Equinox, 50th Street
Girl: And you know what? After having a few accidents, I just decided to wear pads, to let it flow naturally.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Dr. Ballon
Woman on cell: So she says to me, “Oh, you’re so interesting”, and I’m like, “Fuck you, you fucking cunt.”
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Heather
Man: I can’t leave my door unlocked in the Barrio. Someone might sneak in and steal all my spices.
–42nd & Ditmars, Astoria
Man on cell: Now why the fuck would you go and eat my ravioli? Dat’s mine!
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: Danny
Black tween girl: And that nigga bitch Rihanna thinks she can do ballet? Shit! I can do ballet. The only thing I ever seen that nigga do right is eat fried chicken.
–Q train
Overheard by: kb
Woman: I mean, I would have loved rice. We all would have loved rice.
–8th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jaya
Chick: The other day I ate a hot dog, and it had a bone in it. I don’t know what animal they make hot dogs out of, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have bones.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: seth kleinman
Girl: Food is like candy.
–92nd & Broadway
Shrewd observer: He is either in the Army or chews a lot of gum.
–Ludlow & Rivington
Overheard by: pete Lanpr
Lady: There ain’t no way I’m standing in front of a stove all day making tuna salad. It’s fucking hot!
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Queer: Oh my God, cottage cheese is albino diarrhea.
–City Diner, 90th & Broadway
Man to child in stroller: What do you want? You want money? Do you want money or a bagel?
–Absolut Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Overheard by: another jew
Chick on cell: …No, not years of porn, ears of corn! Corn, like you eat!
–Ding Dong’s, 106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jas
Passionate woman: I just love egg white! It’s like painting to me! The texture, the smell…
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Shivvers
Pringles lover: Yeah, he’s, like, all that minus the bag of chips.
–14th St between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: the chips
Big black dude: So tell me, how much would it cost to get a huuuuge jar of mayonnaise, outta state?
–Uptown 5 train
Pre-dad: That fuckin’ thing is getting ready to pop out next week.
–Fulton between Broadway & Center
White guy: You live in New Jersey and you don’t speak Spanish?
–49th & 8th
Overheard by: Knipc
Guy on payphone: Eighty miles an hour, and he was still alive?…still alive?
–W. 4th & Mercer
Overheard by: Matthew
Jewfro: …so why did you stick your cell phone in your anus?
–Chambers & Greenwich
Guy: I’d like some dick lever…I mean duck liver, please. Well, I guess dicks don’t really have levers do they?
–Tuller Gourmet Food Market, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Isaac Gertman
Man to friend: … And then she put her pussy on my head.
–W 4th & 7th
Overheard by: Shaggy
Large black lady to friends: I mean, her vagina was fuckin’ huge! You could put a whole fist in that thing!
–W 4th & 6th
Overheard by: Sophia Casanova
Teen girl on cell: I really wanted to be like, ‘Listen, bud — this isn’t working, so can you please remove your fingers from my vagina?’
–B1 bus stop, Bensonhurst
Female: I think my vagina is malfunctioning.
–E 112th St
Overheard by: Mine, too
Loud guy to male friend: There’s something about a vagina that just makes you evil! No offense.
–4th & Mercer
Overheard by: none taken
Seven-year-old, looking around: Mommy, is this a gay place?
–Columbus Circle Mall
Deadpan guy: Just for future reference, when you have gay sex in a bathroom stall, you might wanna put paper bags over your feet so people don’t see two pairs of male feet under the door and catch on… I’m just saying.
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Zabet
Fat chick: Gay sex makes everything better.
–Nederlander Theatre
Scruffy college student to friend: So, I told my parents I was gay… Then they told me I was adopted.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: ramona
Old Asian woman, smiling after reading tabloid cover: He is not gay!
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I still think he is :-/, BiTCHESSSS!!
Ghetto dude on phone: Do you know what I could do with that money? I could get a new pair of pants… or maybe get my hair done.
–Broadway & 86th St
Girl to another: I had this teacher in high school who wore the tightest pants. Camel toe all the time.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Giancarlo
Annoying sober 20-something, returning from bathroom: God! I'm so sweaty, it made it really hard to pull my pants down.
–Diner, 3rd Ave
Teenage girl to another: He came here to do a concert. He probably doesn't want to hear you scream, "Take your pants off!"
–Battery Park
Girl: Don’t walk me behind me, I’m about to fart.
–Times Square station
Girl: God, it smells like an armpit farted in here.
–Rififi, E. 11th Street
Overheard by: Miso
Guy on cell: Baby, baby, please, listen, I just, I’m almost there, c’mon, I’m comin’ up on your building now, baby, don’t be like that! Look out the window and you’ll see me! Shit, you can smell me, baby.
–12th & D
Fratboy: My shorts smell like a little boy’s balls.
–Coney Island beach
Overheard by: Alissa
Woman: Just so you know, it smells like someone urinated in there.
–Banana Republic, 16th & 5th
Overheard by: beth wren
Young boy: Mom, my problem is that I just can’t pay attention for long enough to do my homework the right way. I mean, maybe it’s’s just the weed talking, but I’d like to see someone.
–Washington Square Park
