20-year-old female host: Can I help you with something?
12-year-old boy, staring at her: I just want to admire your body.
20-year-old female host: Excuse me?
12-year-old boy: You have a great body.
20-year-old female host: Ummmm, thanks…
12-year-old boy's friend: If I were you I'd leave, he's creepy.
20-year-old female host: I wish I could.
–Restaurant, Times Square
Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.
–M116 Bus
Overheard by: I hate the bus
Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!
–Allen & East Houston
Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.
–33rd & Broadway
Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.
–Times Square
Overheard by: yearbookie
Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.
–South Williamsburg
Overheard by: DanielXY
Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.
–Central Park
Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!
–Wagner College
Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.
–Winter Garden Theatre
Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sunny
Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: David
Asian girl #1: We can pretend you’re a celeb — claim to be Lucy Lui’s cousins or something.
Asian girl #2: I used to be able to pass for Michelle Kwan… Don’t know how much of a celeb she is, though. People have asked for my autograph. I looked much more like her when I was younger.
Asian girl #1: Oh my god, I would sell your kid pics on eBay if I had no conscience.
–6th Ave & Waverly Pl
Overheard by: christine y0
Geek speedwalking through rush-hour crowd with hands over head: Parasites, parasites, parasites!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: it is what it is
African-American lady: The secret life of… What? Who's "bees"?
–Loews Kips Bay
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Woman: I'm a fruit fly. That's like a fag hag, only prettier.
–3rd & St. Mark's
Female suit on cell: We're dealing with racist ladybugs here.
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: LP421
Girl: Am I the cutest?
Guy: Maybe…are we including dead people?
–143rd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Sorority girl #1: No, really, tanning is, like, my downfall.
Queer: Please, how often can you possibly tan?
Sorority girl #1: Constantly. I’m, like, a certified tanaholic. It’s a real problem. Hey! Heather! What would you say my biggest addiction is?
Sorority girl #2: Um, I dunno…coke?
Awkward silence ensues.
–27th & Madison
Younger girl to cougar on dance floor: Excuse me, but you need to be younger to sing this song.
Cougar: Well, you need to be prettier to wear a dress like that.
–Bar
Old creepy guy: You're a pretty lady.
Random lady, walking by: Thanks
Old creep guy: I should kidnap you
–Tour De Brooklyn Rest Site
Overheard by: Amber
Thug #1: Yo, she brought her friend along.
Thug #2: Yeah, but she was fat ‘n’ ugly, right?
Thug #1: No, man. She was fat ‘n’ cute!
–L train, 8th Ave
Overheard by: kalbijim
