Comedy club guy: Are you ready to be dazzled by comedy?
Cute girl: Do I look like a fucking tourist to you?
Comedy club guy: Well, are you ready for a boyfriend then?
Cute girl: Maybe if you looked better.
–42nd St & Broadway
Comedy club guy: Are you ready to be dazzled by comedy?
Cute girl: Do I look like a fucking tourist to you?
Comedy club guy: Well, are you ready for a boyfriend then?
Cute girl: Maybe if you looked better.
–42nd St & Broadway
Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)
–Apple Store, 14th St
Overheard by: Susie
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Stringy black jazz singer #1, watching BBW woman squeezed into barbie-pink tiny jeans: Damn!!!
Stringy black jazz singer #2: Oh mah gawddd!
Stringy black jazz singer #1: Daaaaaammmnnnn!!!
Stringy black jazz singer #2: Ooooooohh maaaahhh gaaaawwwwwddddd!
–Washington Square Arch
Thug on street: Hey, girl! You lookin' fine. I'm gonna do… things to you. Yup, lots of… things.
Thug friend: Like, what you gonna do to her?
Thug: Things, man. I said things.
–125th St & Morningside Ave
Girl #1, giggling while watching pictures on iPhone: Wait, this is a toilet bowl!
Girl #2: Yeah, isn't it cute?
Girl #1: But it's a toilet bowl!
Girl #2: I know that, and I thought it was really cute!
Girl #1: You have issues.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Guy #1, looking at woman in a magazine: Yo, this girl is the shit, yo.
Guy #2, agreeing: Yeah, like with the corn in it, man.
–D Line
Large black woman to friend: So like, he's totally gonna bring Randi's hot sister to the x-mas party! Score for Matt!
Black dude passing by: Ewww, you sound like a white girl.
–125th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Miss Ivy
Teenage girl #1, during class discussion about physical appearances: Like, if you saw a really hot guy, but then it turned out he was a jerk, would you still like him?
Teenage girl #2: Probably.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy reading Post over someone's shoulder: David Letterman cheated on his wife with that? Dear god, I thought he'd have better taste.
Women reading paper: That is his wife!
–5 Train
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
