Body Parts

Does a Threesome With Twins Break the Wednesday One-Liner Taboo?

Suit to another: He was just lucky not to be fucking someone in his family!

–Trump Building

Overheard by: Guess I'm lucky too

Gamer on headset: Dude, you are not listening to me. You can't hear me. You know why? Because you have no ears. You're the product of two retarded cousins fucking each other.

–Queens

Girl: He looks like my uncle… the one I'm really attracted to.

–Governors Island ferry

Overheard by: boring

Male passerby: I wouldn't fuck my family, but…

–4th Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Jessica

British professor wearing bow tie: It's fascinating just how exciting incest is!

–Silver Center, NYU

Posted on May 16, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brits, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Ferry, Girls, Handicaps, Incest, Men, Nerds, NYU, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Questions, Retardation, Sex, Street, Suits, Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Unfortunately It’s All Downhill From There…

Guy Clubber: Hey, Shorty!!
Girl Clubber: Ya?
Guy Clubber: I just got to tell you that you have the best forehead I’ve ever seen…but don’t get too cute.
Girl Clubber: Umm…OK?

–Club NV, Soho

Overheard by: Debony Miller

Posted on May 14, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Pick-up Lines, Soho

What If I Get a Long Identifying Number on My Forearm?

Guy: So you don’t think neck tattoos are sexy?
Girl: No.
Guy: What do they make you think of?
Girl: Prison.
Guy: What if I get my name in Hebrew?
Girl: Jewish prison.

–10th & Ave B

Overheard by: Trying not to laugh

Posted on May 13, 2015
Body Parts, Jews, Judaism, Languages, Manhattan, Names, People, Places, Prison, Religion, Tattoos, Union Square and East Village

How Ron Jeremy Learned to Auto-Fellate

Five-year-old son: Daddy, I'm really hungry.
Dad: (ignores him)
Five-year-old son: Daddy, I'm really hungry!
Dad: Well, then eat your head!

–87th & 1st

Posted on May 13, 2015
Body Parts, Comebacks, Dads, Food, Kids, Parents, Upper East Side

They Meant What You Think

Little girl #1: That’s a pooty.
Little girl #2: My mom has one with gray hair.

–The Gap, 86th & Broadway

Overheard by: DJ Cayenne

Posted on May 12, 2015
Body Parts, Manhattan, Retail Therapy, Should've Used a Condom, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

That's Not All We Were Hitting, Sweet Pea.

Mother: I ran into cousin Seth here the other day.
Two-year-old son: You mean, you hit heads? (taps forehead)

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on May 11, 2015
Body Parts, Boys, Default, Family Ties, Fears, Grand Central, Kids, Moms, Questions, Words

Doesn’t Want Him to Know She Stuffs Her Booty

Girl: Get your hand out of my pocket!
Guy: I wasn’t gonna take nothin’. I just wanted to touch yo ass.

–4th St & Caton, Windsor Terrace

Overheard by: Braincurve

Posted on May 10, 2015
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Sex & Relationships

It Reeks of Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: When I point, everybody smell collard greens.

–6 train

Posted on May 9, 2015
Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Eating Out, Etiquette, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Kink, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Penn Station, Port Authority, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, We Love Our Pets

You're No Body 'Til Some Body Wednesday One-Liners You

Girl: He has a really amazing skull.

–Bakery, Cortelyou Road

Guy to friend: Why is that girls can get away with picking their noses?

–170th St & Broadway

Loud girl on cell in line at deli: You know I have bladder issues whenever I have sex!

–Broadway & Ooper

Lady suit, screaming into cell: Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! Colon cleanse! I need a goddamn colon cleanse!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Colin

Posted on May 9, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compliments, Delis, Ferry, Friends, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Health and Hygiene, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sex, Staten Island Ferry, Street, Suits, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday One-Liners Wake Up in a Tub of Ice

Woman: My sister had a kidney removed when she was 9, and she still uses it.

–Dojo, W 4th St.

Guy: Yeah, the only reason I have kids is that, if I ever need it, I know there’s a compatible kidney around.

–33rd & 8th

Overheard by: kjsilopanna

Posted on May 7, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Family Ties, Medicine, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary