JAP #1: So, Brian was flirting with me all day yesterday.
JAP #2: Oh my god, he sooo wants to get in your pants. Or, in your case, leggings.
–Soho
JAP #1: So, Brian was flirting with me all day yesterday.
JAP #2: Oh my god, he sooo wants to get in your pants. Or, in your case, leggings.
–Soho
Youngish man: What does it all mean?
Female friend: What? Life?
Youngish man: Yeah.
Female friend: Poorly maintained leather for the most part.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Sukhdev
College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.
–Church St
Overheard by: Emma
20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?
–Outside Town Shop
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!
–H&M, 5th Ave
Overheard by: titti-less
Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: emdeebee
Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.
–Arthur Ave
(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat!
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak.
–Mott St
Overheard by: robin
Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is.
–Thompson Street, SoHo
Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid.
–Near Herald Square
Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Sarah
History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one.
–Millennium High School
Overheard by: Adriana
Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?
–86th St
Overheard by: Kevin
Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!
–Charles & 4th
Overheard by: Eric
20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…
–Pratt Institute
Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!
–5th & 21st
Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!
–Carnegie Deli
Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants?
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants!
–81st & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Jobee
Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on?
–8th & Broadway
Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform.
–Times Square Shuttle Station
Overheard by: Heather
Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Shira
Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train?
–W. Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jon A.
Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.
–Express, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: I would have to agree
Woman #1: This sweater is 80 dollars?! My grandmother could knit this!
Woman #2: Wow, really?
Woman #1: Well, no, she’s dead… But you know what I mean.
–The Gap
Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber.
–Madison Ave & 43rd
Teenage Spanish girls: Mister, mister! Where'd you get that belt?
Guy: (mumbles)
Girl #1: You know that's the gay belt, right? That belt is gay, yo.
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #2: Yeah, that's the gay belt. You better take that shit off! Are you gay?
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #1: Then take that shit off man! You can't have a gay belt. What store did you get it at? Didn't they tell you when you bought it? Mister, you better return that shit to the store!
Girl #3: Maybe he's bi. Hey mister, it's okay if you're bi. I mean, I like eating pussy.
–Uptown N Train
Overheard by: Jeff
