Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?

–Barracuda

Overheard by: barkeeper

Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here

Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?

–N Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo

Student: Is Swedish even a language?

–Columbia University

Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?

–M86 Crosstown Bus

Posted on July 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bus, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Columbia, Columbia University, Conductors, Family Ties, Flight Attendants, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Insults, Languages, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Race, Religion, Students, Stupidity, Time, Wednesday One-Liners

Fast Times at Wednesday One-Liners

Teacher: My father always told me, "Never run away from a fight. If the guy's bigger than you, hit him. If he gets back up, hit him again. If he gets back up again, hit him with a garbage can. If he still gets back up, run like hell, 'cause this dude's gonna kill you!"

–Stuyvesant High School

Teacher: Okay. Emergency procedures. If the fire bell rings, we run like hell.

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: Goober

Chinese teacher (referring to Sichuan earthquake): They had a saying after the earthquake happened that originates from a male part. "People are supposed to rise up, and get hard!" …and be strong.

–Bard High School Early College

Math teacher: Give me your little men!

–Spence School

English teacher: I could be charged with child abuse in some states for teaching grammar in 90-degree weather. (student is silent) I'm not going to hit you.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Posted on July 15, 2015
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Crime and Punishment, Erections, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Heat, Murder, One-liners, Penis, Robbing the Cradle, Stuyvesant, Teachers/Professors, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles

Posted on July 14, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Families, Ferry, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Private Parts, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Sexuality, Staten Island Ferry, Surgery, Teens, Trannies, Vagina, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

You Can See Cancer Wincing From Here

Chick #1: I took this class called History of the Universe. It sucks.
Chick #2: Sounds like, I mean, that’s so intimidating…the whole
history of the universe!
Chick #3: Plus it’s all about physics and astrology and stuff.

–NYU A bus

Posted on July 11, 2015
College, NYU, On the Bus, Stupidity

WednesDEA One-Liners

Loud guy: Hey! Illegal drugs, anyone? Illegal drugs? I want to buy some illegal drugs!

–6th Ave & 34h St

Overheard by: Emily

College girl to friend: Remember that time when you slept with that drug trafficker?

–33rd & 3rd

Man in restaurant: After the roofies I took I was a total mess, it was amazing.

–23rd & 10th

Overheard by: Matt

Man to friend holding Diet Coke: Do you remember when they had this at that gay bathhouse I had to go to because my drug dealer was there?

–Duane Reade

Dude, about crowd: I'm so glad we dropped acid before coming here.

–Trader Joe's, Union Square

Overheard by: Kat

Loud girl on cell: She can't just call you up and like, reminisce and be like, "remember when we loved each other?" Oh, and I don't even want to talk about the conversation we had this morning. There's no excuse to do acid!

–Wagner College

Posted on July 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Crime and Punishment, Drinks, Druggies, Drugs, Duane Reade, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hard Drugs, Love, Medicine, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Questions, Sex, Sorority Girls, Store, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-liners, Chronic Matriculators

Guy: Ooh, actuarial, eh? That’s like birds, right?

–Silver Center, Washington Square East

Overheard by: Chirag Shah

Posted on July 10, 2015
Animals & Nature, Arts & Letters, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, College, Dating, Fordham, History & Geography, Manhattan, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, The Bronx, Union Square and East Village

If Only There Were a Way to Get Sober Enough to Figure It Out

Sleep-deprived art student #1: Sorry, I'm just…you know.
Sleep-deprived art student #2: Yeah, I know, me too. Do you ever just like wake up confused?
Sleep-deprived art student #1: Yeah!
Sleep-deprived art student #2: Just about like, what time even means?
Sleep-deprived art student #1: Yeah! I'm always like that.
Sleep-deprived art student #2: Me too…

–Pratt Institute

Posted on July 9, 2015
College, Students, Time, Weirdness

Audiences Found the All-Gay Legally Blonde Sequel Oddly Disturbing

Weird girl #1, watching tall muscular jock with toy Chihuahua: Oh my god, do you see that adorable little dog over there?
Weird girl #2: Yea, it's so cute! I just wanna pluck its little eyeballs out and squish 'em!
Weird girl #1: Aw, me too.

–Wagner College

Overheard by: Rupert

Posted on July 1, 2015
Beauty, College, Girls, Man's Best Friend, Violence, Weirdness

As If She Gives a Fuck What Coloreds Say

Girl from upstate New York: So are there a lot of colored people in Connecticut?

Long pause.

Black girl: We say black people now.

–FIT

Overheard by: LL

Posted on June 30, 2015
Black People, College, Girls, Questions, Race, U.S. Geography, Words

Even Coffee If You Must

Architecture professor: You're all nodding off. Go splash some water on your face. Methamphetamines… Go out in the hall. Have any of you tried methamphetamines?
Class: No.
Architecture professor: No? How about heroin?

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Posted on June 27, 2015
College, Health and Hygiene, Heroin, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness