We Were With Him Until “Came Out Of the Ice.” How About You?

Crazy man: I would like to see that Hermes (pronounces it Her-MEES) scarf.
Man selling scarves and necklaces: It's pronounced air-mess. If you can't pronounce it, you probably can't afford it.
Crazy man: But in Greek it's pronounced Her-MEES.
Man selling scarves and necklaces: That has nothing to do with this scarf. The French can call it whatever they want.
Crazy man, to himself as he walks away: The French? The french with their Louis XIV wanting to be called the Sun King? What do the French know? They just came out of the ice! They don't know anything about anything!
Man selling scarves and necklaces, to himself: If you can't prononuce it, you can't afford it. That's funny.

–17th & 6th

Overheard by: Siena

Posted on September 6, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Fashion, Foreigners, History & Geography, Languages, Men, Names, Questions, Shopping, Stupidity, Vendors & Street Performers

Wednesday One-Liners Symbolically Take Back the Power

Black dude to friend: Well, check this out my nigga! Cracking your knuckles does not lead to arthritis… Mythbusters, my nigga!

–Park Slope

Black pimp on cell: That nigger ain't even give you a little nigga baby. All that nigga ever do is just fuck you and leave your ass, bitch. You got a child yoself, take care of your real nigga baby, because that's the nigga who keeps with you. That nigga won't fuck any other sluts. (notices everybody's staring at him) What the fuck y'all niggas lookin at?

–Social Security Office, East Village

Would-be feminist: Pussy don't have no power no more, because if it did, niggas wouldn't be doin' what they do.

–Jefferson Ave & Throop Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jocasta Spell

Polish woman, walking up to group of ghetto fabs: Yo' wut up, my niggas? (pounds fist with ghetto fab guy)

–Delancy St

Overheard by: Kirkegaard

Crazy black man on phone: When you talk like that I'm gonna call you the N-word! (pause) Don't talk like that! (pause) I want to have sex with you.

–Murray Hill

Posted on September 2, 2009
Activists, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Black People, Crazies, Friends, Gangstas, Gender issues, Guys, Illness, Insults, Languages, Lower East Side, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Office, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

But at Least They're Not All Alcoholics, Like the Native Americans.

Queer: I hate Mexicans, first they jump our borders, then they don't even attempt to speak English.
Tan chick: Fo' reals! I've met some that have been here their entire lives and never bothered to learn English.
Crazy man: Oh my god! Why do you have to be so goddam racist all the time!?
Tan chick: What? I was just making a point, goddammit, I am Mexican!
(five minutes later)
Black lady: Yo! D'shaun! Get yo' ass over here nigga!
Crazy man: I hate black people! They're so goddamn loud, they need to shut up!

–L Train

Overheard by: shocked

Posted on August 17, 2009
Black People, Crazies, Foreigners, Girls, Gripes, Insults, KKK, Language Barrier, On the Subway, Queer guys, Questions, Race

Are You Ready to Accept Wednesday As Your Personal One-Liner?

Crazy preacher man: Look up! You see that ball in the sky? It's not the sun. It's hell!

–Times Square

Subway preacher: Someone is gonna drive your car to your funeral, wearing your bling bling.

–Downtown A Train

Street bible pusher: Don't wait for the asteroids to rain down on you! Asteroids are heading this way now!

–6th Ave & 32nd St

Random crazy dude: Repent, all ye sinners! Get your ass to Genesis!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: LiD

Street preacher handing out bible verses: Jesus saves! Jesus saves! (to suit walking by) Not you! There's nothing good about you!

–8th Ave below 23rd St

Posted on August 12, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Comebacks, Crazies, Crazy, Death, Fashion, God Squad, Jesus, On the Subway, One-liners, Preachers, Questions, Religion, Satan, Street, Suits, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

It's Almost Like You Think We're Allowed to Speak Freely in This Country!

Crazy lady: You are the rudest, most obnoxious person I have ever encountered. I want to speak to your manager.
African American cashier: Okay, then go speak to him.
Crazy lady: You know just because Obama got elected, you can't have an attitude like that.

–Banana Republic

Overheard by: Jelly W

Posted on August 7, 2009
Black People, Cashiers, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, President, Race, Store, Wishes & desires

Vegetarians Won't Eat Anything with a Wednesday One-Liner

(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!

–M101 Bus

(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!

–Union Square

Overheard by: I Looked Away

Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!

–Q Train

Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.

–30 Rock

Overheard by: MusicMagGirl

Posted on July 15, 2009
Accidents, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Bus, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Crazy, Creepsters, Friends, Insults, Man's Best Friend, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Physical appearance, Private Parts, Skaters, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Meet the Guy Who Makes the Subway Doors Open

Crazy ranting black guy: My divinity is hot… my arrows can block the clouds. I wanna be the Imperial Leader for all time. My lizards will rule everyone. If y'all do what I say, things'll be fine.
Annoyed black lady, as he continues ranting: Whatever they gave him, it was too much. Oh my god! Why we gotta deal with this shit? Economic crisis and all, and still gotta deal with crazy people!
Crazy ranting black guy: Son, I open doors. Try to clap your heels three times and open doors like me–you can't do it! In prison, in the hood…
Annoyed black lady, now yelling: Why pick a train? Why not go to the hood like you say? Go to wherever you started that shit and deal. You need a therapist for real!

–A Train

Overheard by: Tigertail

Posted on July 14, 2009
Animals & Nature, Black People, Crazies, Crazy, Gripes, Guys, On the Subway, Prison, Psychology, Public Transportation, Questions, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Also How Joe Biden Tries to Make Friends

Old man to passing girl: Boo!
(girlfriend shrieks, old man lets out an evil, villain laugh. Girl and her boyfriend walk away quickly, boyfriend chuckling)
Old man, looking back at them as they walk away: Hahahaha! No, no wait! Wait, I'm sorry! I'm sorrryyy!

–77th St & Broadway

Posted on July 11, 2009
Apologies, Boyfriends, Crazies, Crazy, Fears, Girls, Laughter, Old People, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

Sinners Are Always More Sinful on the Other Side Of the Door

Crazy Jesus guy: Repent! Judgment is upon us, and we are all sinners!
Suit: Hey, there are some sinners in the next car.
Crazy Jesus guy: We indulge in things, and it's a sin!
Suit: Some really bad sinners.
Crazy Jesus guy: Repent!
Suit: They're just there in the next car.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Nora

Posted on July 10, 2009
Cars and Driving, Crazies, God Squad, On the Subway, Preachers, Religion, Suits, Weirdness

How Do You Like the Planet So Far?

Crazy guy: Have you seen a bus come by recently?
Girl #1: No, sorry.
Crazy guy: How long have you been here?
Girl #2: We just got here.
Crazy guy: Oh. Welcome!

–89th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Nora

Posted on July 6, 2009
Crazies, Girls, Guys, Public Transportation, Questions, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Crazies