Thug #1: Yo, Quame got cancer, right?
Thug #2: Yeah.
Thug #1: See, that what he get for stealin' from me…
–L Train
Overheard by: Paul
Thug #1: Yo, Quame got cancer, right?
Thug #2: Yeah.
Thug #1: See, that what he get for stealin' from me…
–L Train
Overheard by: Paul
Man dressed in briefs, on Halloween, to policeman: I want you to arrest me! She didn't listen to me! I want you to arrest me right now!
–W 17th St
Overheard by: The Girl in Vintage Formal
Slightly buzzed 40-something man, in very loud hushed tone: I know your son is in jail! Isn't he?
–Mid-Manhattan Library
Man to another: They let him go because my daughter couldn't identify him. But now she got glasses.
–Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: Miss V
Agitated man, yelling into cell: I don't love you. I hate you. I did ten years and got seven felonies for you.
–Brooklyn
Girl to another: So I wrote "we're being kidnapped' on a piece of paper and pressed it against the window.
–Famous Famiglia, 111th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Lucy
High school girl: That nigga just got *out* of jail. That reminds me, I need to go to Bushwick.
–Grand St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Gay guy, angrily looking at woman eating sausages: And that is why I hate lesbians!
–Gay Pride Parade
Man on cell: I went to San Francisco last month to find me a lesbian girlfriend.
–Big Apple BBQ
Overheard by: skibs
Angry lady to another: Why would I have sex with another woman?
–Greenwich Village
Hobo on platform: Men… do not have sex with women! Any man who has sex with a woman should be arrested. Women do not like sex–women are all lesbians!
–7 Train
Crazy hobo to young girls on bench: You girls are a box full of lesbians!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Daphne
Little boy, whispering to brother: That's a cop. He can arrest people.
(brother starts tickling little boy)
Little boy: Arrest him! Arrest him!
Cop: Sorry, kid. I'm off duty.
–5 Train
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Hobo: Everyone, please believe me, I had nothing, I tell you–nothing, to do with this rain!
–6 Train
Overheard by: thanks for that clearing that up
Black guy sitting on stoop to white guy standing the rain: I can't offer you a warm vagina but I can offer you a dry haven.
–1st Ave & 7th St
Overheard by: D Dot
Hobo to sky, as it begins to rain: You gotta do better than drizzling if you want to flood the Earth! We got murders and rapists down here! There are pedophiles and traffickers and thieves and liars and idolaters! I'm ready: I got the life goggles you sent me! (holds up scuba mask) Thank you for making me in your image, Lord. Amen.
–24th St b/w Broadway & 6th Ave
Overheard by: EmLo
Man, as it begins to rain: Goddamn rain, man! Only in New York!
–Park Place & Broadway
Overheard by: Bo Vanderpants
Woman on cell: Yeah, the weather is beautiful this morning. I'm strolling like a motherfucker.
–Lexington & 90th St
Girl #1: My boyfriend is so romantic, he's taking me to a private wine-tasting!
Girl #2: Doesn't that violate your probation?
–5th & 7th, Brooklyn
Girl: There's police over there! It must be a crime scene!
Guy: Gang violence is so boring these days…
–Madison Square
Mom on cell: So, she's a drunkard and you're taking her to a wine tasting?
–Park Ave
Overheard by: bad idea
Snooty hipster to girlfriend: This event is missing two things. One is wine and the other is cheese.
–Book Signing, Cobble Hill
Man to woman, looking at a wine list: Sure it's good wine. Brandon buys it by the case and takes it fishing.
–W Hotel Restaurant
Overheard by: Bob Leblaw
Crazy MTA employee lady: If you step over the line you will get a fine! And will not be able to dine on all that boxed wine! The fine, it will not be divine! And then you will whine. So don't step over the yellow line!
–4 Train
Overheard by: also stepped over the line
Lesbian #1: I thought you said your probation officer was out of town this week?
Lesbian #2: My probation officer? My probation officer don't know shit!
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Teen to friends: I want to get a haircut, but every time I get a haircut I get arrested.
–Union Square
Cashier: This line is closed! Unless one of y'all wants to drive me to my hair appointment!
–Home Depot
Woman to friend: Why can't he have a normal man haircut? Like, with short sides?
–Dekalb Ave & Oxford
Overheard by: Daniel Boris Dzula
Manic lady to no one in particular: Pay homage to my hair!
–B61 Bus
Drunk hipster: Donald Trump's hair is the Blarney Stone of New York.
–East Village
Overheard by: Concerned Irishman
