Toddler: Daddy, are there still rats down here?
Cheerful-sounding father: Of course!
–1 Train
Toddler: Daddy, are there still rats down here?
Cheerful-sounding father: Of course!
–1 Train
Male yuppie to female yuppie: So milfs are totally in right now.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Lolita
20-something male yuppie, surrounded with Starbucks coffee containers and yelling at laptop: It took you six fucking minutes to get to the fucking page! Rawwwr! I'm going to rip you apart, you stupid fucking computer! Rawwr!
–Starbucks
Yuppie-hipster mom, to sobbing toddler: Yeah, I know, your life is just so tough.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: It's because those hemp diapers you make her wear chafe like hell.
Yuppie woman: This is like the Third World!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam Chalek
Happy old drunk guy, to no one in particular: Eldridge Street, god bless us, every one! Eldridge street!
–Eldridge Street & Broome Street
Drunk girl to friend: There she goes! Being all Rosa Parks, as usual, saving her tribe …
–2nd Ave b/w 5th & 6th
Drunk girl outside bar: If I ever have children, I want them to be as fucked up as I am!
–West Village
Overheard by: AsherO
Drunk girl: I'm so hungry I could eat a dick!
–Fordham University
Overheard by: teagle
Loud drunk girl at table with friends: Ashton sat on my lovesack!
–Blockheads
College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.
–Central Park
Overheard by: ruegah
NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He's hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.
–NYU Tisch Building
Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Preston
Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.
–Music Hall of Williamsburg
Borders employee: I'm sorry, ma'am, we do have books about Hitler, but they're all for children.
–Borders
Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.
–Belmont Park Race Track
20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Mike
Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!
–Belmont Ave & 188th St
Overheard by: Toomuchinformation
Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.
–W 204th St
Overheard by: JMS
Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!
–Central Park
Little girl: Ooh, look mommy! That's a pretty convertible!
Mom: That's a hearse.
–75th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Andrea
Little girl: No, daaaaaady! I wan another traaaain!
Stressed dad: No. We're going to wait for the g train.
Little girl: Buuuut I haaaaate the g traaaaaain.
–G Train
Overheard by: amen sister
Burly father to daughter, passing grizzly bears: I have no compassion for stuffed animals.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Tarah
Guy to friend: I'm totally going to try to hook up with a dolphin when I'm in Cozumel.
–St. Mark's & 3rd
Girl: I would love to have sex with a cheetah!
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Girl carrying reindeer head on bicycle rickshaw: It's not a moose head, it's a reindeer!
–4th Ave & 3rd St
Woman on cell: So are you still dating the tortoise man? (pause) So is this a good or bad thing?
–Bergen & Court
Overheard by: Staying away from the herpetarium
Daughter: Daddy, I want a cookie!
Father: I'll say yes if you ask for an apple instead. (pause) Or a Brussels sprout.
Daughter: Ahhhhh!
–115th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Special K
Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.
–7th Ave & 25th
Overheard by: NSC
