Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.
–7th Ave & 25th
Overheard by: NSC
Father: You don't tell me what to do. You're not the boss.
Three-year-old girl: You're not the boss, too!
Father: Then who's the boss?
Three-year-old girl: Obama's the boss!
–101st St & Riverside Dr
Overheard by: jobrody
Thug #1: Dude, I heard that bitch had a baby by her son, her father, and her grandfather!
Thug #2: Son, I told you not to wear burgundy!
Thug #1: What? What the hell does that have to do with it?
Thug #2: Looking like shit has everything to do with everything.
Thug #1: Well, you're wearing red…
Thug #2: That's totally different, dumbass.
–Downtown 1 Train
Dad: If you don't behave you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: If you don't behave, you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: Well, if you decide to act like this again, then we aren't taking you to Hawaii.
Little girl: That's fine… I don't want to go to Hawaii. I hate traveling with you.
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Jbak
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center
Nine-year-old girl to 13-year-old brother: You can't even get a real girl, you only meet girls off the internet.
13-year-old brother: Yeah, but it gives me confidence, it makes me feel good!
Nine-year-old sister: No, it doesn't!
–14th & 9th
Ticket seller to woman, about toddler: Well, he can come, but there is, you know… Subject matter.
Woman, sighing: The boy watches SpongeBob.
–Fela! Box Office
Overheard by: Patrick
Eight-year-old boy, screaming before midnight: Haaaaappy New Yearrrrrrr! Haaaappy New Year!
Drunk partygoers across the street: Haaaaappy New Year!
30-something: This is so overwhelming.
–Ocean Parkway & Neptune
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Woman on cell: The inflatable penis and inflatable vagina are for me, mom, I figured the kids could use them as pillows.
–Broadway & Worth St
Overheard by: Hoping I never go on a car trip with this broad
Passerby to man peeing in the bushes: There's a kid coming, put your cock up!
–Union Square
Scene Soho chick: He's not gay, he just loves cock!
–Uncle Nick's Greek Cuisine, 9th Ave
Overheard by: Todd
Little boy throwing marshmallows: I hit him in the penis!
–Frankfort & Rose
Overheard by: Kristen
