Wendy's Bipolar Puberty Should Be Entertaining

Six-year-old girl, holding hands with her mom: It feels like we are going the wrong way.
Mother: I think we are going the right way.
Six-year-old girl: Yeah, it also feels like we are going the right way, at the same time. That's weird! (giggles) Sometimes, I feel sad and happy at the same time. Isn't that weird? (more giggles)
Mother: That's not weird, honey. Mommy often feels happy and sad; that's why I need my afternoon nap every day.
Six-year-old girl: I only want to be happy, mom.
Mother: Me too…

–6th Ave & 4th St

Overheard by: Brett

Posted on March 6, 2010
Happiness, Kids, Moms, Parents, The Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

You Sense That You Have a Dangerously Inflated Ego?

Mother to six-year-old daughter: How do you feel?
Six-year-old girl: Like P. Diddy.

–Queens Blvd & 63rd Dr

Posted on March 5, 2010
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Kids, Moms, Parents, Queens

In the Meantime, Practice with This Candy Bracelet.

Little boy, staring at ad where woman bites necklace off another woman: Ew! That's gross!
Mom: Let me know if you still feel that way in 10 years.

–D Train

Overheard by: Catherine

Posted on March 1, 2010
Age/Aging, Fashion, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Violence

Katie Onomatopoeias Her Pants

Dad to three-year-old daughter: No, honey, moose don't moo.
Daughter: Moose don't moo?

–7 train

Posted on February 27, 2010
Animals & Nature, Dads, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Questions

The Gasman Promised to Use His Powers Only for Good

7-year-old boy: I can beat you up in a fight!
Mom: Oh, Lord, here we go…
7-year-old boy: What?
Mom: I said “Oh, Lord, here we go”!
7-year-old boy: I can beat you in fight! You said so yourself!
Mom: When?
7-year-old boy: You said my farts could kill people!
Mom: That's right, even in a hurricane.

–7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: EVB

Posted on February 26, 2010
Farting & Burping, Kids, Moms, Murder, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Threats, Union Square and East Village

“I'm a Wednesday One-Liners, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother…”

Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."

–4 Train

Overheard by: Mollie Reznick

JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.

–L Train

Overheard by: high school was so two years ago

Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: David G

Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.

–A Train

Overheard by: jm

LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on February 24, 2010
Advice, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Death, Fashion, Gangstas, Gripes, Insults, JAPs, Kids, Love, Marriage, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Passengers, Penn Station, Relationships, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Grandma Got Run Over by a Wednesday One-Liner

SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?

–8th Ave & 48th St

Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.

–B Train

Overheard by: Taylor

Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.

–8th Ave

Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!

–Midtown

Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Brothers, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Conductors, For Sale, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Street, Teens, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Without the Bible, Kids Wouldn't Even Think About It

Nine-year-old thugette: Oh, that's my man! Look, there's my man, there goes my sexy man!
Eight-year-old thugette: Shut up, that ain't yo man, that's yo brother!

–The Bronx

Posted on February 23, 2010
Beauty, Family Ties, Kids, Relationships, The Bronx, Thugs

Not to Mention the Lousy Blowjobs.

60-something balding man: I think quitting teaching is the best thing I've ever done.
Wife: Oh, yeah. Good, honey!
60-something balding man: I mean, I fucking hate kids.

–15th St & 1st Ave

Posted on February 23, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Couples, Education, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Union Square and East Village

If the Amish Had an Entrance Exam

Mom to three-year-old daughter: Does it make you feel nice and happy and yummy and lovely when you go on the computer all day, or does it make you feel icky and sticky and ugly and stupid?
Three-year-old daughter, thinking: Ummmm… it depends.

–E 86th St

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on February 20, 2010
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Upper East Side