Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Little boy in blue blazer and khakis: I'm having a party. You can come.
Little girl in flower dress: (keeps skipping rope)
Little boy: You can bring your Lego people!
–25th St & Broadway
History geek: You laugh, but where would you be without the 18th century? The 20th century, not the 21st, that's where.
–New York Historical Society
Overheard by: Emily B.
Little boy looking at book about Presidents: I see John F. Kennedy, and I see Abraham Lincoln, and I see… what's his name? Hilary's wife?
–BookCourt, Brooklyn
20-something girl: There's this guy in my class who's like an Indian. But, I keep reading these things about how we were so horrible to the Indians and how there are none left, so where did he come from? Like, if there are none left, where did he come from?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Beth!
Woman to daughter: You know what Henry VIII ruled with? He ruled with his dick!
–Penn Station
Teenage girl on cell, yelling: Victorian era lesbians! Not Edwardian! Lesbians weren't nearly hot enough in the Edwardian era! Yeah, we should probably watch it together.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: I really hope it's porn
Young woman: I heard this funny joke. A man comes home and his wife says “Your boss called and said that you were fired.” The man answers “Fuck him!”, and the woman says “I did, and now you have your job back.”
Woman's husband: I don't get it.
Eight-year-old son: C'mon dad, she made out with the boss!
–F Train
Snobby housewife to six-year-old girl on toy bicycle: Do you want to share an iced coffee with me later?
Six-year-old: Yes!
–70th St & Broadway
Overheard by: whatever happened to ice cream as an incentive?
Woman, clearly winding up a long rant: …and that's why I don't need no fuckin' man in my life!
Toddler son: Mmmmmhmm, mommy.
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Katie Naum
Eight-year-old boy, matter-of-factly, to dorky dad: Mexican people like to put animals on their shoulders.
–108 St & Broadway
Black guy to white woman: Anyway, it turns out–and this is really weird–in Texas, they hate Mexicans as much as they hate African Americans!
–17th St & 8th Ave
Man to another: I just want to be gang-raped by a group of Latinos.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Mike
Exasperated woman to friend: And this is why I don't interfere when it comes to Mexicans!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Green Star
10-year-old to friend: You have the same name as a short, fat Mexican boy!
–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick
Latino gay to white gay: You have good genes, you just don't have the Latino gene that makes your face moisturize naturally. I'm like the Dick Clark of faggotry!
–12th & 1st
Overheard by: H-Bomb
Teen to friend: Make sure that you're in Guatemalan mode.
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Drunk woman to another: Well, I will see your divorce and raise you an illegitimate pregnancy!
–Court St & Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Girl to super skinny girl: You look pregnant, I think I have a clothes hanger in my locker. You wanna come up and check with me?
–1st Ave & 3rd St
Dad holding baby to wife with another kid in stroller: Somebody's about to get pregnant up in here… It'll be like Maury Povich.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: NOT the father
Dude on bus to child: See, women, they get to grow people. And in exchange, we get to pee standing up.
–Q64 Bus
Overheard by: a people-grower
Girl to friend: You always seem to get pregnant at the worst times.
–Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: Jenn
Girl to friend: I'm feeling fertile. Who's going to tend to that feeling for me?
–2 Train
Latino guy to friends: That's what my name means in Portuguese, "pregnancy test positive."
–84th Drive, Queens
Father to son: No five-year-old should be asking for Chilean sea bass for dinner.
–Joralemon & Court
Dapper man on cell: You used to be able to pass for twenty… uh… eight.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Chuckell
Middle aged woman clutching Twilight book, trying to exit bus while reading: God! These novels for 13-year-olds make me hot!
–B7 Bus
Overheard by: i know, i love it too…
Prissy woman on cell: I don't care if he's six years old, he doesn't have to throw a fucking temper tantrum every time he wakes up. I mean, get over yourself.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Eric
Guy to friend: I'm thirty years old now. I'm over thirty. I don't know how to live. I'm an "adult" now. But I don't know how to live–without someone taking care of me.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jason B
Older woman to almost-dead father: Dad, the doctor told me I have a 45-year-old vagina!
–Manhattan Office
Three-year-old boy: Mommy, I want a little brother, let's get one.
Mom: You can't just go to the store to get a baby.
Seven-year-old girl: I know where babies come from.
Mom: Oh, man!
Three-year-old boy: From where?
Seven-year-old girl: God. God made everything, people and animals.
Three-year-old boy: Who's god?
Seven-year-old girl: I don't know, some dead guy who lives in heaven.
–Riverbank State Park
Overheard by: Darin
