Small boy: So abortion isn't like killing, it's like stopping?
Small boy's mother: Yes, honey…it's all very complicated, but, some people think that a baby can't be killed when it's inside the womb because it's not really a baby yet.
Small boy: So, it's not a baby till it's out?
Small boy's mother: That's right.
Small boy: And then we can kill them?
–M103 Bus
Overheard by: Lilly
Tween thug #1: Yo, Beth Israel hospital. You gotta be a Jew to go there? Haha!
Tween thug #2, somberly: No. My grandmother was in there.
Tween thug #1: Oh. I'm sorry… Shit! Look, that's where we got arrested! They cuffed me on that corner!
Tween thug #2: Yo, what time is it?
Tween thug #1: 5:11. (pause) Oh damn, my momma told me I had to be home at 5! She gonna kill me.
–B82 Bus
Rangers fan, about two players who are brothers: No, they're like the same age. They've gotta be like four or five months apart.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: helenathegreat
Blonde to blonde friend, looking outside from Legally Blonde theater: Oh, wow, it's still light out.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jaime and Bridget
Girl to friend: I don't even know how long ago one minute ago was.
–New Year's Eve, Times Square
Overheard by: Kristina
Girl, pointing to turkey walking around: Look at the peacock, it's so pretty!
–Central Park
Lady on cell: I told her she was an ungrateful b-i-c-t-h!
–14D Bus
Overheard by: Evan Wilson
Lady who lunches #1: Did you see that sad picture of the little African baby on the cover of the Times today?
Lady who lunches #2: I know, it is terrible, but didn't you love the hat it was wearing?
–Crosstown Bus M79
Overheard by: TimNH
Passenger, getting on bus and not swiping Metrocard: I don't gotta swipe. It's all set.
Driver: Oh, yes you do. Christ himself come on, he gotta swipe.
–Q32 Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Your friendly neighborhood Newsbunny
Tall long-haired, bearded man getting on bus through rear doors: Jesus on the bus!
(ten minutes later, as he gets off bus) Jesus walking!
–125th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Jonesy
Man on cell: You know I can't come over, I'm a daddy now! I have a dog! He needs me 24/7. I can't leave his sight, not even for a second! I'm just out for a moment to buy him some food, but other than that…
–Crosstown Bus
Souvenir seller: Get your doggy diary! Get your puppy program! Get your beagle bible! Get your bulldog blog!
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Man at payphone: They tried to catch the hero dog, but he ran away.
–107 & West End
Overheard by: kdub
Half tone-deaf guy with guitar, singing: I'll marry you for your Green card, but I'll sleep with your sister cause she's prettier than you. She's 75 years old, never been touched by a man, let alone a dog…
–1 Train
Overheard by: CreateEvity
Man leaning out of car, to man walking Schnauzer: Excuse me…that's a Marmaduke?
–3rd Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jeff S.
Woman on cell: If I don't get a dog soon I'm totally going to get pregnant.
–Wall Street
Young hipster to friend: Remember when we sat there, I was high on Vicodin and we saw that guy take a shit in the fountain?
–Union Square Greenmarket
Rich woman yelling on phone: I don't care about your stupid laws or ethics or whatever. (pause) No, I pay you too much money not to get the goddamn drugs I want. (pause) Just write the fucking prescriptions and send them! What the fuck kind of drug dealing doctor are you?
–Metro North Train
Loud lady on cell on escalator: I'm on all these medications you're not supposed to be on when you're pregnant!
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Visiting Kiran
Jock: Nothing's as bad as being allergic to Viagra, man!
–NYU Bus
Lady of indeterminate age: A craving is just a thought on steroids.
–26th st & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Lucky Gunther
Obese woman to male friend: I need to get some Viagra from my dad.
–17th St & 8th Ave
Preppy girl: Oh my god! I swear, she's like the biggest prep I have ever seen in my entire life!
Man, sitting down: I got my share of irony for today.
–Q16 Bus
Headline by: EddieA
Runners-Up:
· “And I Didn’t Have to Wait for the L or the J” – Elsie Norma
· “And I Haven’t Even Been to Williamsburg Yet” – Kaitlen
· “Beats the Shit Out Of That Whole “Black Fly in Your Chardonnay” Thing” – mac
· “It’s Because She’s Blind, Right?” – tatts
· “Take THAT Alanis Morissette” – my meter’s pegged
· “That Day Bob Realized He Didn’t Need the Supplements After All” – subtleglow
· “Yeah, but She Had TWO Sweaters Over Her Shoulders” – Mary
· “You Need to Build Up Hipster-Level Tolerances to Handle Stuff Like This” – Jeff
Old man #1: You've seen that guy at the deli. You see behind the counter? The guy's only wearing one glove. Now you can't do all your work with one hand, can you? The lord gave you two for a reason.
Old man #2: Only one man can do magic with one glove. That's Michael Jackson.
Old man #1: And his magic done run out.
–M10 Bus
Overheard by: Alexandra
