Are You Washed in the Wednesday One-Liners Of Jesus?

Teenage girl: My mom is always reminding me to lock my door because you got to worry about the bloods and the clots.

–Uptown 2 Train

Emo chick: So he goes to this party and he does it with this old guy. He pretty much went home with a bloody butthole.

–Roseland Ballroom

Overheard by: charlotte

Suit on cell: Never in my life have I seen that much blood in the trunk of a car.

–82nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Karyn

Small Asian girl to large drag queen: So then he, like, bit off his tongue and nearly bled to death. (long pause) Or maybe I was just high.

–Elevator, Brooklyn

Posted on May 27, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Asshole, Backdoor, Blood & bleeding, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Celebrations/Parties, Death, Drag queens, Drugs, Elevators, Girls, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Street, Suits, Teens, Theater, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners

If a Boy Is Your Friend, Is He Your Wednesday One-Liner?

Hot Latina: He doesn't look like someone I'd want to fuck. But neither does my boyfriend… Well, depending on what he's wearing.

–3rd Ave & 46th St

Overheard by: SillyUrn

Girl to friend: If my boyfriend ever asked me to do that, I would get a new boyfriend, preferably the blow-up one that I already have in my bed.

–Dorm, NYU

Overheard by: amused

Girl in leopard print pajamas: My boyfriend is the voice on Dora the Explorer. Name dropped.

–Elevator, NYU

Overheard by: babaganoush the great

Teen boy on cell: Hi, Lisa, it's Matt. Sarah and I were just talking about how much you love tools, so I went to Home Depot today and picked you up a new boyfriend.

–N Train

Overheard by: SueCity

Yuppie to friends: So my boyfriend called me last night and asked me, "Hey, do you even know my name?" and I said, "Well…no."

–1 Train

Overheard by: yams

Posted on May 27, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Elevators, Friends, Girls, Infidelity, Latinos, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Street, Teens, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

It Was to Support the Arts More

Girl #1: Girl, did you see her Sasquatch ass! She be taking three for the team!
Girl #2: Don't curse.
Girl #1: You know, I be breaking my New Year's resolution.
Girl #2: Word!

–G Train

Posted on May 26, 2009
Animals & Nature, Ass, Girls, On the Subway, Stupidity

This Is Something I've Only Dreamed Of!

Conductor: Next stop, NYU. 8th Street.
Tourist teen girl #1: NYU? Is that New York University?
Tourist teen girl #2: Umm, I think so.
Tourist teen girl #1: Wow! New York University has their own stop!

–N Train

Posted on May 25, 2009
Conductors, Directions, Names, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Teens, Tourism, Tourists

Female Discontent: The Universal Language

High school girl to friend: All guys are either taken, jerks, butt-ugly, or gay!
Black lady next to them: Amen sister, amen.

–1 Train

Posted on May 25, 2009
Beauty, Black People, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Gripes, On the Subway, Sorority Girls, Women

They're Like Madagascar.

Seven-year-old boy: This hat is fake.
Seven-year-old girl: Hats can't be fake. Hats can't even be real.

–6 Train

Overheard by: oldsamcole

Posted on May 24, 2009
Clothing, Fakes, Kids, On the Subway

That Joke Never Gets Old!

Man: What is iPod? What is laptop?
Girl with headphones, laughing: Good one!
Man: What is iPod? What is laptop?

–B Train

Posted on May 24, 2009
Girls, iPod, Laptop, Laughter, Men, On the Subway, Questions

Tomorrow's Lesson: The Boston Red Sox

Toddler, pointing to the Bronx on subway map: What?
Father: Yeah! That's the Bronx, baby girl! Yankee stadium. Better than the Mets and you best not forget! The Mets suck! The Yankees stink, but the Mets suck.

–L Train

Posted on May 22, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Insults, Kids, Mets, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Parents, Questions, Yankees

Girls Are Actually More About the Dew Point

Tall awkward white dude: So you mean to tell me you never question your sexuality?
Girl, shaking her head slowly: No.
Tall awkward white dude: I mean, it's not like it's conscience. It's like a barometer thing: when you meet someone, you just respond.

–7 Train

Posted on May 19, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness, White People

Are You Saying They're Bad News and Full Of Splooge?

Stressed woman, on the verge of tears: She thinks because she's fourteen she can come home whenever she wants and treat me however she wants!
Male friend: Kids are young, dumb, and full of cum!
Stressed woman: True, dat.

–E Train

Overheard by: Luis

Posted on May 18, 2009
Age/Aging, Crying, Cum, Friends, Kids, On the Subway, Parents, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

On the Subway