Dude #1: You know, you're a real dick.
Dude #2: (nods)
Dude #1: But you're a dick like an asshole, not a dick like a cock.
Dude #2: Yeah?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Dan
Dude #1: You know, you're a real dick.
Dude #2: (nods)
Dude #1: But you're a dick like an asshole, not a dick like a cock.
Dude #2: Yeah?
–7 Train
Overheard by: Dan
Tourist husband, as train stops: 14th Street.
Tourist wife, smiling delightedly: Exactly like it says on the map!
–A Train
Overheard by: Theresa
Gay friend: Yeah right, I'm sure it's not that good.
Girl (loudly): Ohmigod, my sex is so that good. (to passengers) Who wants to try?
(silence)
–F train
Overheard by: definitely not me
Gay or foreign guy #1: But it has sentimental value to you. So you can say, “I have this memory.”
Gay or foreign guy #2: But that's not why I have the picture of Mario Lopez.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster teen boy: Wouldn't it be like, fucking crazy if straight edge was cool?
Teen girl: Yeah, I guess, but that would never happen because I mean like, ciggs just make you like, cool.
Hipster boy: Yeahhh.
–A Train
Latina hipster: He loved my hair!
Latino hipster: They was all faggots. It was fags that loved your hair.
Latina: He didn't sound gay. And he had holes in his shirt.
Latino: Was he wearing polyester?
Latina: No.
Latino: See?
–A Train
Overheard by: Drew
Woman #1: So how did Becky’s insemination go?
Woman #2: Oh, didn’t you hear? She’s pregnant.
Woman #1: Oh, that’s great!
–F Train
Overheard by: katherine
Headline by: SAtCW
Runners-Up:
· “I Knew If That Man Could Do It She Could Too!” – J
· “Labrador or Lesbian? You Make the Call” – joaquin carvel
· “Now She Can Have the Abortion She Always Wanted” – JohnAustin
· “Remember When It Used to Be Called “The Prom”” – Powder Blue Tuxedo
· “She Was So Drunk, But We Thought It’d Be Funnier Than a Tattoo” – Thug Auditor
· “The Best Part? Her Husband Thinks It Was Immaculate!” – Jim
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: Oh look, you broke your shoe, and you're pregnant.
Hugely pregnant woman: Yes.
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: Well bitch, just go to the ATM, get $20, and get a new pair of shoes. White folks got all the money.
Hugely pregnant woman: (silence)
Crazy bag lady in Burger King crown: You know what? God broke your shoe. He broke it cause you hate black people.
Hugely pregnant woman: Umm, this is my stop.
–2 Train
Overheard by: courtney
Latina: I don't care what a guy says, I'm not gonna let him piss on me.
–Vesey Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Giggling four-year-old boy: Yeah, and there was a sign and it said, "Caution: someone peed here!"
–Waverly & W 11th
Bimbo: And he was like, "Sarah, you pissed the bed" and I was like, "Whaaaaat?" and he was like, "Sarah, get up, you pissed the fucking bed!"
–Theater District
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Alright, fine, but if you pee on me again, we're done!
–C Train
Overheard by: Laura
Guy, in disbelief: You mean you've never been pissed on before?!
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh
Girl: Would it be considered indecent exposure if I peed in the sink?
–Lyceum Theatre
Girl to friend: Her?! She totally splashes her urine.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Ellen
Really pissed mom: And do you know what size unicorn they tried on her first? Medium.
–Macy's
Cafe employee, about pastries: Those look like fairy testicles.
–HopScotch Cafe
Overheard by: bildita
Guy yelling to passers-by: You're all materialistic, yuppie, vampire kings!
–W4th & Cornelia
Overheard by: greg
Man on cell: So Santa Claus will be there?
–Broadway & Wall St
Woman: When she was a newborn she looked exactly like Yoda, and then she grew up into Dopey.
–Penn Plaza
Five-year-old boy looking out of window: Ahh! I hate the sun! Vampires hate the sun!
–Q Train
Overheard by: LoRna
