Chick in passenger’s seat: Is that a bird?
Boyfriend: Sounds like it’s fucking!
Chick: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
–Toll Booth, Henry Hudson Bridge
Overheard by: bridgemaster
Chick in passenger’s seat: Is that a bird?
Boyfriend: Sounds like it’s fucking!
Chick: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
–Toll Booth, Henry Hudson Bridge
Overheard by: bridgemaster
Lesbian #1: She was straight!
Lesbian #2: If she straps it on the first time you have sex, she’s not straight!
–House Party, Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Old queer: You won’t believe your eyes in Plainfield. There’s not one heterosexual in Plainfield.
–75th & Columbus
Amazed nerd teen: They did this study on women who are ovulating, and even in gay bars when they’re ovulating they get way more dick.
–S’nice Coffee Bar, 14th St & 8th Ave
Big black girl: So being gay, when a straight person says, "You can stay over with me, but I’m not inviting you to touch me…" No, girl! You *are* inviting me to touch you.
–C Train
Overheard by: Lemuel
Random guy in stall next me: It’s a cluster fuck… Out there, not here, you don’t think I’m gay, do you?
–JFK Bathroom
Guy with to few friends: I’m the most homophobic gay man ever.
–Staten Island Perkins Diner
IT manager: Do you know how long ago 1984 was? I was straight!
–915 Broadway, Manhattan
Overheard by: Sarah
Six-year-old girl, after careful consideration: Oh, well. That’s Ok. A baby is almost as much fun as a trampoline.
–Sidewalk Cafe
Guy to friend at 1 AM on a Thursday: Hey, I have an idea -let’s talk about how Dan fucked my ex-girlfriend! That’ll be fun, that’s a good story!
–PATH Train to Hoboken
Overheard by: Katie
Cali girl, to her roommate: We need to be more like coke whores but, like, without the coke, and not the whore part, but just like, opulent and fun.
–133rd & Frederick Douglass
Overheard by: Nathalie
Guy on cell: But, mother, maybe she wants to have fun for a couple of years before she becomes a nun.
–Midtown
Overheard by: Killer
20-something woman on cell: When I left my mom just now she said, ‘Have fun gay-tripping in California.’ Uhmmmmm?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McF
Middle aged babysitter corralling flock of young children down the street: This should be fun… How come it isn’t? Anybody got any ideas?
–18th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Big bald guy: No, no, you don’t have to be ordained to marry people at the show. Just put on the Pope robe if you want to marry people.
–Office Building, Hudson St
Guy: I took your advice, bro. I’m gonna marry her in a little over three weeks. But… I gotta get drunk first.
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: erin
Suit #1 to suit #2: Well, maybe she won’t sign the pre-nup and then you’ll be free.
–Wall Street
Black chick: No! No! Ain’t no one gettin’ lynched at my wedding!
–Food Dimensions, Myrtle & Broadway
Overheard by: off white
Woman on cell: The only time he gets to be himself is when he goes away and that’s the way he saves the marriage… Otherwise it’s "Mommy, I don’t feel well’ and ‘Mommy, may I be excused from the table."
–23rd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Mugsy’s Moll
Goth chick on phone: He proposed to me while he was in me… Yea, well, I mean he told me after that he really meant it!
–Penn Station
Girl #1: He says he’s not hitting on me. I want to believe him.
Girl #2: Honey, if he licks the back of your neck so that you shiver, he’s hitting on you.
Girl #1: That’s a good point.
–E 64th St
Overheard by: interested…
Queer: I want to have sex with a girl.
Girl, laughing: Any particular girl? Or just any girl?
Queer: Any girl. I’ve been watching a lot of straight porn and it seems interesting.
–NYU
Man on phone, while withdrawing cash at the ATM: Congrats, dude. It could still be chlamydia though!
–LES
Overheard by: Romano
Kid: I don’t like this place, it has aids.
–F Train
Overheard by: Richard J. Anderson
Man on cell: You can’t just sleep in somebody’s bed and not tell them you have scabies. That’s… irresponsible.
–Home Depot
Professional woman: So I think you have an STD and blah blah blah.
–Times Square
Customer: Can we get an extra plate? He’s sick and I have herpes.
–Freemans, Freeman’s Alley
Twentysomething businesswoman: I was like, ‘oh my god, don’t hook up with my mom’… she has crabs!
–13th & 2nd
Overheard by: Natalia
Elegant lady on cell: I’m a powerful influence on the Kennedys.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Fat black man to white man who breaks his umbrella while trying to help him open it: Aw, hells no. Don’t make me go all Britney Spears on yo’ ass.
–Duane Reade, 57th & Broadway
Chick, to guy: Danny Pintauro hit on you at a leather club?
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Ladle
Professor to class: … The ark of the covenant gone, only to be found by Harrison Ford later on.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Krisztina
Barista to meathead: … That’s the thing about Drew Bledsoe. He smokes a lot of marijuana.
–11th & Bedford
NYU girl: I want to be Patrick Dempsey! So I could fuck myself!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Maya G.
Suit on cell: Dude, you’re dating Sigourney Weaver? Right now? Dude, are you kissing her? Are you grabbing her ass? Does she still have an ass at this point?
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken
Girl #1: I got completely wasted last night. I woke up outside my friend’s bathroom with my pants off, credit cards all over the floor. But here’s the thing -my top was on.
Girl #2: WTF?… What did you do?
Girl #1: I’m not sure…I don’t really remember. The last thing I remember is rubbing my face in some guy’s crotch with people in the room. Oh, he had his pants on, obviously.
Girl #2: You’re such a slut.
Girl #1: I know right. Anyway, my friend woke me up, telling me that I was going to miss the fung wah.
Girl #2, puzzled: Where were you going?
Girl #1: Boston.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I’m really not sure.
–C Train
Overheard by: Noah Tizzle
