Woman #1 in line to man with Tim McGraw's “Skydiving” as ringtone: I thought I was the only person in the Bronx who listened to country music!
Man, laughing: Well, there's me, too.
Woman #2, further up the line: Me, too!
–Post Office, 187th St & Belmont Ave
Overheard by: eternal student
Girl: Hey!
Older guy: Hey! How's your film shoot going?
Girl: Great! I'm almost done!
Random sketch: Be careful not to get any fake blood on your clothes. I know you're wearing all black, but still. (winks)
(no response)
Random sketch: I used to do a lot of coke.
–E 10th & Ave A
Guy: I hope you got a fuckin' Dixie Cup, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to hold it!
–42nd & 5th
Middle aged suit, to no one in particular: Spoon! Spoooon! Spooooon!
–Au Bon Pain, Broad St
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Young guy with backpack to young wife: Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup.
–Sheridan Square
Crazy hobo on subway: Hey you! Did you take my spoon? I know you took my spoon! Why would you do that to a guy?
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: Scared British Tourist
Indignant yuppie: I wanted to stab her with a fork! It's a good thing we were at a sushi restaurant.
–69th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy, rushing into room: Guys, come here. I need a witness in the bathroom right now.
–Times Square
Screaming Latino stepping into urinal: Ah! Ah! Ah! Sorry y'all, I just got dem crabs, so it hurts when it comes out.
–South Ferry
Voice from cubicle emitting diarrhea sounds the day after Yom Kippur: Ugh, Jewish holidays.
–Broadway
Woman coming out of bathroom: I just heard the woman in the stall next to me say, "I love my ample taint."
–Astoria
Overheard by: Alison R
Girl on cell: Okay, I've got to get naked for my cousin. Bye!
Random passerby: Say what?
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Hobo: Can you spare some change? Selfish fucking morons! Can you spare some change? Selfish fucking morons! Can you spare some change? I love you.
–Broadway & 9th St
Hobo to everyone on train: Stand clear the closing doors, ladies and gentlemen. Please watch the gap between the train and the platform. Walk over it, not in it. Your safety is my number one priority because: without you, I don't eat.
–4 Train
Crazy hobo to man: I don't want your change. I want that! (points to man's crotch)
–F Train
Hobo: Can you spare me 600,000 dollars?
–Broadway & 97th St
Overheard by: Martijn H
Drunk hobo to restaurant owner: Oh, man, I've missed you! You haven't cursed me out in forever!
–Restaurant, Ave A & 7th St
Overheard by: Tigertail
Boy: Man, this semester I'm going to fuck everyone. I'm gonna be a real man-whore.
Friends: Uh-huh.
Man leaving train: Someone should tell him it's hard to be a man-whore with his zipper down.
–F Train
Teenage tourist boy to friend, gesturing at a gay couple: They're holding hands!
Passing art lover: There's no one holding your hand, sweetheart.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Richard Nixon
Old, foreign Asian, looking through comic book collection: Want a Looney Tunes with Porky Pig on the cover!
Vendor, turning to stranger: Porky fucking Pig, man!
–Flea Market, 23rd St
Drunk hobo: You guys are attractive. You got the hair thing going on and you have the sideburns working for you. (flexes biceps)
Teenage boys: Ummm… Thanks.
Drunk hobo: Guys… listen. Guys… birds of a feather fly together. Birds of a feather fly together. You don't see seagulls flying with pigeons or pigeons flying with seagulls. Birds of a feather fly together! You guys have any money?
(they give him some change, he walks away)
Sketchy man overlooking: Wow… that guy was crazy. Do you kids want some weed or some blow?
–Sitting Area, 48th & 8th
Overheard by: Brendan
