Guy blocking overcrowded subway car to elderly woman trying to squeeze by: Hey! You could say "excuse me!"
–Uptown N Train
Woman, eating falafel: I'm trying to stay away from fried foods.
–40th St
Five foot, 250-pound woman to friend: Wow! That girl in front of us is fat!
–42nd & 8th
Man on cell: Maybe you're the one with the fucking anger problem! Dick!
–Outside The Met
Overheard by: Yellow!
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Young barista to another, peeling a banana: You like your women like you like your bananas.
–Bedford Ave
Man outside fry place: They don't sell watermelon here. I read the menu three times, and no watermelon.
–Pomme Frites, 2nd Ave
Dude on cell: Banana. Banana banana banana banana. Banana.
–Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
30-something suit to another: If I'm hungry I'll eat a banana, but I can't eat more than one. Because bananas, like, annoy me.
–Metro-North Harlem Line
Employee: All natural mango juice, on sale for 66… no, 69 cents off the regular price.
(customer walks away, uninterested) Where do you think you're going?
–Whole Foods
Overheard by: Sac
Schoolgirl #1 to friend: I just don't understand why we have to learn history in school. It's not like knowing about Asia's trade habits in the 1800s will get me anywhere in life!
Schoolgirl #2: I know. I mean, I don't even like Asians, so why should I have to learn about them?
Schoolgirl #1: Exactly.
–W13th St
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
Girl #1: Can you *believe* how rude that woman was?
Girl #2: Seriously, I mean, who does she think she is telling us to be quiet?
Girl #3: I know! I'm sorry, but if I had wanted to be *silent* I woulda gone to the movies by myself.
–Bathroom, AMC Loews Movie Theater
Overheard by: Tonya
Conductor #1: Please remove your personal belongings from unoccupied seats to allow other passengers to sit.
Conductor #2: Okay, Hitler.
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ames
NYU girl #1, failing to light her “cigarette”: What the fuck!?
NYU girl #2: Honey, that's your flash drive.
–Outside of Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Eight-year-old boy, screaming before midnight: Haaaaappy New Yearrrrrrr! Haaaappy New Year!
Drunk partygoers across the street: Haaaaappy New Year!
30-something: This is so overwhelming.
–Ocean Parkway & Neptune
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Tween: Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mother: What are you?
Tween, starting to sob: Stupid.
Mother: What kind of stupid?
Tween: Ten flavors of stupid.
Mom: And don't you fucking forget it!
–Battery Park City
