Teen (speaking excitedly to friends): Supposedly there's a tornado in the city!
Random suit: Like o-m-g!
Teen: Like w-t-f!
–7th Ave
Teenage girl #1: Did you know… If I shot you in the head right now, you wouldn't even know you were dead!
Teenage girl #2: Whoa!
–Coney Island, in Line for Wonder Wheel
Older mother: Do you need a pomegranate, or are you good?
Teen: I'm good.
–Fruit Cart, 18th & 6th
Overheard by: EthanK
Elderly math teacher: By god, you can't just hand me any mangled piece of paper you want! What do you think this is, the Bronx High School of Science?
Geeky kid #1: Oooh, that's mean.
Geeky kid #2: Well, at least he didn't say Brooklyn Tech. They have cameras everywhere, and if you dis them, they'll take out their gun and be all, “What did you say about my school?”
Geeky kid #1: You just made that up.
Geeky kid #2: I wish.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by:
Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk.
–Steinhardt Building, NYU
Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys!
–Q train
Overheard by: Robert
Vapid high school chick: Oh my god, I just found out that he's actually dating a freshman. And not even one of the cute ones either…she's like, brown.
–Central Park
Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it.
–Broadway & 20th St
Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver… (awkward silence) …but I mean a really cute beaver.
–Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B
Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy
Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much.
–N Train
Teen girl #1: We have to go to 90th and Broadway.
Teen girl #2: So, that's only 30 blocks away.
Teen girl #1: No, it's 60 blocks.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah, I was multiplying.
–LIRR
Teen girl #1 : I'ma get fucked up tonight…
Teen girl #2 : She didn't tell you what happened last time? (points at friend ) I was fucked up by 8 pm and don't remember shit, I woke up with someone else's shirt and no panties on.
–F Train
Overheard by: Frais
High school girl: On the internet, Nike will let you put your name on some dunks.
High school boy: They gonna let you put “hooker” on their shoe?
High school girl (pissed): I told you that ain't my name!
–W. 72nd Station
Two high-school girls in a Super Stretch Hummer, screaming out the window with a smart-ass tone: Enjoy the movie!
Bitchy gay man in line to buy a ticket: Yeah, enjoy the fucking environment, bitch!
–Outside Sunshine Theater, E Houston St.
Overheard by: E.J.
Male kickballer: You know, I always like waking up with two testicles!
–Queensboro Oval, 59th & York
Overheard by: Me too
Bag lady outside of a shelter to another: Men think all they got to do is show us their dick and balls and we gonna be mesmerized.
–30th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Beef Cheeks
Gay guy: Yeah, I stopped watching that game after he started dressing up like a woman and kicking photographers in the balls.
–Park Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: fey
High school girl wrapping arms around other girl's shoulders: Suck my balls.
–60th b/w Broadway & Columbus
Overheard by: Krisztina
