Wednesday One-Liners Taste the Rainbow

Teen hipster on cell: You know, light pink is the navy blue of India. It's true! Don't ask me how I know this but I do.

–6th & 51st

Overheard by: simon

Flamboyant nasal-voiced man on cell: I'm feeling blue…like, royal blue…a little lighter…no, not baby blue…like, American flag blue…like…yeah.

–Jamaica LIRR Station

Aussie on cell: There were all these dudes wearing pink shirts…and they weren't even gay!

–55th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: wearing a pink shirt and gay

Girl to friend: So he made carrot salad and I said "Your poop is gonna be orange!"

–The Frying Pan, Chelsea

Latina: Well, she said "It wasn't white! It was yellow!" So I was like, "Well, was it at least shaped like a penis?"

–4th Ave & 40th, Brooklyn

Posted on October 1, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Food, Foreigners, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hipsters, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penis, Poop, Queens, Questions, Teens, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

I Gag Every Time I Look at 1970's Beaver Shots

Nine-year-old girl: Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
14-year-old girl: Well, I'm a Democrat.
Nine-year-old girl: Why?
14-year-old girl: Well, in my opinion, being a Democrat means you don't like Bush.
Nine-year-old girl: Oh. I'm a Democrat, too.

–Brooklyn Public Library, Greenpoint Branch

Overheard by: Jack Jackl

Posted on September 29, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Girls, Kids, Library, Politics, President, Questions, Teens

What What (In the Wednesday One-Liners)?

Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert

Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?

–Christopher St Pier

Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Pza

20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.

–Elevator, Midtown Building

Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?

–Denny's

Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.

–Weight Room, Coles Gym

Overheard by: Ladle

Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Alison

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Buildings, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Elevators, Fitness, Foreigners, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Queer guys, Queers, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Sorority Girls, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

I'm LMAO at You Pozrs

Teen (speaking excitedly to friends): Supposedly there's a tornado in the city!
Random suit: Like o-m-g!
Teen: Like w-t-f!

–7th Ave

Posted on September 20, 2008
Default, Languages, Manhattan, Suits, Teens, Weather, Words

Thanks, I Guess

Teenage girl #1: Did you know… If I shot you in the head right now, you wouldn't even know you were dead!
Teenage girl #2: Whoa!

–Coney Island, in Line for Wonder Wheel

Posted on September 19, 2008
Coney Island, Death, Default, Girls, Murder, Shoot, Teens, Tourist Attractions, Weirdness

But I May Need an Emergency Guava Later

Older mother: Do you need a pomegranate, or are you good?
Teen: I'm good.

–Fruit Cart, 18th & 6th

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on September 19, 2008
Default, Grocery Stores, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Old People, Questions, Teens

It's Like Blackboard Jungle Over There!

Elderly math teacher: By god, you can't just hand me any mangled piece of paper you want! What do you think this is, the Bronx High School of Science?
Geeky kid #1: Oooh, that's mean.
Geeky kid #2: Well, at least he didn't say Brooklyn Tech. They have cameras everywhere, and if you dis them, they'll take out their gun and be all, “What did you say about my school?”
Geeky kid #1: You just made that up.
Geeky kid #2: I wish.

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by:

Posted on September 18, 2008
Battery Park, Compare/Contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Education, Stuyvesant, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Long to Be THOUGHT of As Ferocious

Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk.

–Steinhardt Building, NYU

Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys!

–Q train

Overheard by: Robert

Vapid high school chick: Oh my god, I just found out that he's actually dating a freshman. And not even one of the cute ones either…she's like, brown.

–Central Park

Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it.

–Broadway & 20th St

Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver… (awkward silence) …but I mean a really cute beaver.

–Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B

Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy

Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much.

–N Train

Posted on September 17, 2008
Beauty, Boys, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Jesus, Masturbation, On Cell, Penis, Queer guys, Race, Teens, Tweens, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

We Hope You Never Do

Teen girl #1: We have to go to 90th and Broadway.
Teen girl #2: So, that's only 30 blocks away.
Teen girl #1: No, it's 60 blocks.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah, I was multiplying.

–LIRR

Posted on September 16, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Directions, Girls, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Stupidity, Teens

Gosh, I Love Bible School Retreats

Teen girl #1 : I'ma get fucked up tonight…
Teen girl #2 : She didn't tell you what happened last time? (points at friend ) I was fucked up by 8 pm and don't remember shit, I woke up with someone else's shirt and no panties on.

–F Train

Overheard by: Frais

Posted on September 15, 2008
Clothing, Default, Girls, On the Subway, Sex, Teens, Weirdness

Teens