Bewildered white woman: What? What’s “ashy”?
Put-Upon black woman: “Ashy”? You don’t know what “ashy” means? Like, “That crackhead is ashy”?
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: gloria
Bewildered white woman: What? What’s “ashy”?
Put-Upon black woman: “Ashy”? You don’t know what “ashy” means? Like, “That crackhead is ashy”?
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: gloria
NYU boy: The doctor at NYU was so chill about it — he treated me the first time three years ago. He’s the one who told me how you have to spit or swallow, but don’t let the cum fester in your mouth. And that one shouldn’t brush their teeth an hour before or after oral, ’cause it opens up the gums and stuff.
NYU girl: [Blank stare.]NYU boy: Gay sex is, like, his specialty.
NYU girl, after long pause: I don’t think we should be friends anymore.
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wish I had a specialty
Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi?
–Chambers &and West Broadway
Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin.
–W 46th Ave
Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack!
–West 4th at Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Cory
Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin.
–Relish Bar & Grill
Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist.
–Arlene’s Grocery
Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try!
–14th St & 9th Ave
Asian girl #1: We can pretend you’re a celeb — claim to be Lucy Lui’s cousins or something.
Asian girl #2: I used to be able to pass for Michelle Kwan… Don’t know how much of a celeb she is, though. People have asked for my autograph. I looked much more like her when I was younger.
Asian girl #1: Oh my god, I would sell your kid pics on eBay if I had no conscience.
–6th Ave & Waverly Pl
Overheard by: christine y0
White NYU law student #1: Yeah, so I'm taking a bunch of constitutional classes. I'm gonna focus on constitutional law.
White NYU law student #2: Yeah, I took this amazing course on the 14th Amendment…
White NYU law student #1: Which one was that again?
–Christopher St
Overheard by: White, but knew that
Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.
–AMC Movie Theater
Overheard by: Emmy
Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service!
–14D Bus
Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush!
–1 Train
Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom!
–University & 12th St
Hobo: Pennies for the poor? [to girl with Scoop bag] Oh come on, you just went shopping!
Girl: Which is why I don’t have any money!
–4th & Broadway
Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.
–3rd between B & C
Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.
–124th & Manhattan
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Squatporpoise
Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.
–NYU School of social work
Overheard by: Maggie
Teen girl on cell: …Can you believe he wanted me to stick my hand in there and touch it?…Yeah, I did it…Oh, it was huge! He said it was really big, but damn! And it’s long, too!…Uh, the head is an
average size, I guess…I like how it feels…Okay, why is the spotlight on me?…Different people are giving me that “what the fuck” look…Oh, shit! Ha, ha, ha! You’re right. Hold on…Chill, everyone! I’m talking about my boyfriend’s pet snake, not his
penis…Okay, continue.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Shanny O.
Girl #1: Okay so like, I wasn’t going to tell you guys but Ed* and I really did have sex last night… I was lying on the phone.
Girl #2: But we knew that already! Ed* called me crying this morning because he thought he took advantage of you.
Girl #3: Ok… this is weird.
–9th St & 5th Ave
