NYU chick #1: Aren’t vegetarian hot dogs just as sketchy as normal hot dogs?
NYU chick #2: Maybe, but I would rather eat the stamen of a sketchy plant than the anus of a sketchy pig.
–Criff Dogs, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: djlindee
NYU chick #1: Aren’t vegetarian hot dogs just as sketchy as normal hot dogs?
NYU chick #2: Maybe, but I would rather eat the stamen of a sketchy plant than the anus of a sketchy pig.
–Criff Dogs, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Little boy: Why are all these people lying out on the grass in their bathing suits?
Mother: Well, some people use the sun to try to make their skin darker.
Little boy: Why would anyone want to be black?
–W 12th St & Hudson River
Overheard by: Talia
Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!
–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents
Overheard by: jycho
Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.
–Student Center, Barnard
Overheard by: Kristine
Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!
–50th Ave & Broadway
Overheard by: Colleen
Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.
–E 10th St
Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jesse S G
Teenage girl #1: Whatever happened to that ShamWow guy?
Teenage girl #2: I think he got beat up by some prostitutes or something.
–10th & Broadway
Guy: Oh my god, no art is worth this. I don’t care if I get to blow Picasso, I’m not waiting in this line.
–75th & Park
Overheard by: Long John
Drunk jock: She left cuz she said she was hungry. Well, I'll put that fuckin' falafel on my dick!
–LaGuardia & W 4th
Overheard by: Not drunk
College guy to no one in particular: She was trying to suck my dick! …so I slapped her with it!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Kate V.
Woman to man: See, I don't have a dick, I have a pussy, but I told him to suck my dick.
–South Park Slope
Drunk guy outside subway entrance: Racism can go suck a dick! I don't care who you are, if you're racist, I. Will. Fight. You.
–Central Park Entrance
Overheard by: HAIR-y
Woman to another: I never had to dress up my vagina to get a dick. An old man would have had me pinned against a wall in a second.
–Century 21 Store
Girl on cell: Yeah, well, you know what his defense was? (pause) Yeah, he tried to tell the judge he couldn't have done it because his dick was too huge. (pause) I know! And it gets better! He wanted to make a plaster of Paris mold of his dick to prove it was too big! (pause) Oh, I'm serious. (pause) Yeah, no…I don't know what he was going to do with the mold of his dick. Maybe he was gonna submit it as Exhibit A or something, and shove it up in her to prove his point.
–Penn Station
Woman #1: So, your vagina’s open, right?
Woman #2: …yeah.
Woman #1: And there’s a smell.
Woman #2: Um.
Woman #1: And it’s a very personal smell!
–Broadway & Waverly
Woman on cell: Why aren't you looking for some boy to do it for free?
–E 3rd & 1st Ave
Overweight MTA worker with megaphone: Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no service!
–Franklin Ave Subway
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Homeless guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers!
–8th & 6th
Overheard by: Zack
Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stumbling out onto the sidewalk: Ha! It's free! Everyone, free food! Ha!
–Open House Art Exhibition, 106th St & Broadway
Guy giving out free pens: Come on, don't be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, only thing you're gonna get for free are these pens and your mother's love.
–Kimmel, NYU
Wanna-be thug eating ice cream: Wanna know how much I paid for this? S'free! I stole it.
–125th St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Hobo stopped for stealing a box of bottled water: But Obama's President! Everything should be motherfucking free for the next 279 years!
–Duane Reade
Chick: Hi, how much are these?
Vendor hippie: Ten, or two for 18.
Chick: Oh.
Vendor hippie: Yea, on Macdougal they sell them cheaper, but they’re made by Chinese kids who make one-fifty an hour. Capitalist bastards.
Chick: Oh. Are you going to be here tomorrow?
Vendor hippie: Well, tomorrow it’s going to rain, and then for the next fifteen days the government is paying me to take ecstasy and play on the computer while they observe me.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emily Leonard
Hobo to white guy walking with three black friends: What's up, slave owner?
–The Village
Girl on phone: We should practice selling ourselves to each other.
–Subway Sandwiches, 38th & 7th
Crazy man on train: America! America! Anybody wanna buy some white people?
–A Train
Ditzy girl to friend: So I had this black boyfriend one time, and we had to break up because he kept talking about slavery. I was all, hello, I'm Czech, my people were slaves too.
–Columbia University School of Social Work
Overheard by: Eric
Black toddler to mortified white nanny: Wanna play slave?
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
