Scrooge McDuck’s Wednesday One-Liners

Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: John Galt Jr.

Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: nova scotia

Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.

–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Amber Star

White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: mela

Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Scientific

Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!

–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge

Posted on October 31, 2014
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, At the Airport, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fashionistas, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Madison Square Garden, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, Panhandling, Penn Station, Questions, Rich people, Security Guards, Store, Street, Students, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Weirdness, White People, Women

At Least Not Until You Start Wearing Something Under Your Dress

Drunk girl: I want to do a cartwheel!
Sober girl: No. No, no, no.
Drunk girl: But I’m so good at them — and handstands! I can do mad-good handstands. Watch! Watch me! [Puts her hands on the ground.]Sober girl: I said no!

–E 10th & Ave A

Overheard by: simon says

Posted on October 30, 2014
Drunks, Girls, Gripes, Union Square and East Village

We Prefer to Be Called Immigrants

Guy #1: I don’t think aliens are aliens.
Guy #2: Oh no. Me neither.
Guy #1: I think aliens are just regular people who evolved a different way.
Guy #2: I have always believed that. Everyone knows that.

–Astor Place

Posted on October 30, 2014
Guys, Lower East Side, Men, Union Square and East Village, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Weirdness

And Bonded Over Munchausen by Proxy

Girl #1: Where'd they meet? She had to have met him in a hospital!
Girl #2: No, they met on JDate.

–3rd Ave & 13th St

Posted on October 28, 2014
Girls, Health and Hygiene, Internet, Medicine, Questions, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

Hugh Grant Hasn’t Worked in a While

Female cop to kissing couple: Get a room!
Guy, looking up: A room?! I can’t even afford a blow job!

–Union Square

Overheard by: geneva c.

Posted on October 26, 2014
Cops, Money & Class, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners for Other Places

Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer!

–49th & 6th

Posted on October 25, 2014
Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Crime and Punishment, Food, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, One-liners, Queens, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, STDs, Stupidity, Suits, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, White People

I Asked You to Puke on My Face

Girlfriend: Get up!
Boyfriend, lying flat on back with vomit on shirt: You are the worst girlfriend I’ve ever had.

–2nd Ave, between 10th & 11th St

Overheard by: Aaay

Posted on October 25, 2014
Couples, Gripes, Union Square and East Village

Maybe ThugLover12 Isn’t the Best Alias for You

Queer #1: So when he showed up I was surprised because he was kinda gangsta.
Queer #2: Ok, so what’s wrong with that?
Queer #1: Well, I guess I should have expected it because his profile said he was from the Bronx… but I mean you can still be from the Bronx and be Americanized.

–Union Square East

Posted on October 24, 2014
Dating, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Queers, Sex & Relationships, The Bronx, Union Square and East Village

Don’t Stop ’til You Hit Columbia

Creepy guy, with buddy: Hey, do you girls live here?
Girl: Yes.
Creepy guy: Do you know where the main street is with all the little streets coming off it?
Girl: Uh…
Creepy guy: Do you know where we can get some coke?
Girl: Oh, go that way.

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Otto

Posted on October 23, 2014
Cocaine, Creepsters, Directions, Union Square and East Village

Union Square and East Village