Thugling to friend tossing banana peel on sidewalk: Yo pick that up! This ain't The Bronx! They'll give you a ticket for that shit up here!
Friend, glancing back: Too late.
–Upper Eeast Side
Overheard by: Turtle shells are better
Thugling to friend tossing banana peel on sidewalk: Yo pick that up! This ain't The Bronx! They'll give you a ticket for that shit up here!
Friend, glancing back: Too late.
–Upper Eeast Side
Overheard by: Turtle shells are better
Excited mother to son, watching Egypt exhibit: Oh, look, honey, those are esophaguses!
Embarrassed father, whispering: Sarcophaguses.
–The Met
Overheard by: KeaKea
Woman standing in the rain, yelling at boyfriend: No! I'm not walking there! This water is dirty!
Another woman, passing by: Of course it's dirty, it's on the street. Are you fucking kidding?
–86th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: she's not.
Mother: And that's why they're beautiful, cuz god made them. Everything god makes is beautiful.
Daughter, pointing to homeless man: Not that.
–104th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jonesy
Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with.
–Yankee Stadium Museum
Overheard by: sternie
30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school!
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: ENGLEBERT
Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in.
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Josie
Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo.
–88th & 1st
Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude!
–Penn Station
Little girl to mom: But mommy, what comes out of Tinkerbell's bladder?
–92nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Gordon D
Conductor: And don't forget to wave goodbye to me when you get off. Hey, you! You didn't wave! Can you people believe it? He didn't wave after I asked him to. So please, remember to wave goodbye to the conductor because we drive these trains, and without us you'd be taking the bus in the daylight and you vampires will burn, burn I say, burn!
–3 Train
Overheard by: I waved
Tattooed man in leather vest, to friend: I'll tell you straight up: I am an angel designed to destroy demons. (weighty pause) I have no compassion… whatsoever… for demons!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Harper
Man to friend: The problem with New York is that there are just so many places for zombies to hide.
–57th St b/w 5th & 6th
Little girl: That's not a fairy! That's a boat!
–Waiting for Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: Laura
Teenage girl to friend: I'm not listening to you, I'm looking for the dragon!
–Prospect Park:
Man trying to quiet down crying toddler: Shhhhh, you sound like a Wookie!
–Brooklyn Zoo
Overheard by: Snoog
Gluttony
Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Sam
Lust
Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…
–5th Ave & 12th St
Greed
Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe
Sloth
Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?
–L Train
Wrath
Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.
–Brooklyn College Library
Envy
Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!
–Bleecker & Spring
Pride
Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!
–Battery Park
Hot girl on cell: You got cockblocked by cancer! (pause, then very seriously) Is your pussy still radioactive?
–Upper East Side
Grown man talking to grown woman: You know the sandy vagina?
–32nd & 8th
Street man to slutty-looking hipsters: Freeze! Drop your drawers! We've got your pussy surrounded!
–2nd Ave
Overheard by: Maureen
30-something woman on cell: I like to use a blowdryer on the… uh… vaginas.
–D Train
Girl, screaming into cell: No, I will not give you my vagina!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Can I borrow it?
10-year-old girl in store: Mommy, I want this too!
Mother: No, that's it, we have no more money.
10-year-old girl: That's not true, daddy said we are millionaires.
–83rd St & Madison Ave
Girl #1 in bathroom stall: Last weekend sucked.
Girl #2 in bathroom stall: I peed in a Wendy's. That was the highlight of my weekend.
–The Saloon, 83rd & York
Overheard by: gem
