20-something skinny hipster girl: I'm in an eating phase. It started on Tuesday, and it'll go until Friday, if I've calculated my lunar cycle correctly.
20-something skinny hipster boy: Yeah, me too… I hadn't eaten for weeks, so I'll probably go til Saturday or Sunday.
20-something skinny hipster girl: What about you?
20-something chubby stoned hipster girl: I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about. I eat like a normal person.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: emily darwin
Girl on phone: I'm so sick of this! He keeps making excuses not to see me! I feel like I'm being used! (pause) No, really. (pause) I just can't deal anymore! We only hang out when he wants sex! (pause) And his excuses! Ohmigod! They are getting so lame. (pause) If it's not his work or boss, it's his nanny or his wife or his kid. (pause) I mean… what's his deal?
–Broadway & 20th St
Overheard by: Cali in NYC
Hispanic woman: And meanwhile the husband is in fucking Iraq, and she cheats on him with the UPS guy! What can brown do for you!
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Suit on cell: The love, the dirty sex, and the money… It's all going so well, and yet so sneaky. (hangs up, then dials another number) Mary, I think he's finding out… (pause) It's not my fault I am fucking my best friend's wife.
–79th St & Madison
Overheard by: Anna
Girl yapping on cell: It was amazing. I mean, I looked hot. (pause) Yes, I wore the naked dress. He took one look at me and had the "Uh-oh, can't control myself" expression. (pause) No, girl, his fucking wife is in town! I mean, whatever.
–51st St & Lexington Ave
Woman: He cheated… On JDate!
–26th & 8th
Redhead: I thought it was a bee.
Brunette: It's a spider.
Redhead: Oh. I have them in my hair all the time.
–85th & 3rd
Dude in car: Hey! Hey! You lost something! Hey, you!
Bald man on cell: What?
Dude in car: Yea, you lost something! You lost your hair!
–94th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nadrian
Average-sized girl: This stuff is beautiful! But it would look so blah on me. You're lucky you're a size 24 waist and can look so hot in this stuff.
Model-looking friend: Meh, it's overrated.
Average-sized girl: Yeah, right! Name one thing that's not cool about being as thin as you are.
Model-looking friend: Well, I kind of miss… eating. (awkward pause) And also, I'm a size 23 waist.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: Hopes she's exaggerating
Little girl in line at ATM: Mommy, I liked your hair better when it was gold.
Mother: Gold hair is expensive, honey. There's a recession going on. Don't like mommy's new recession color?
Little girl: Not really.
–106 St & 2nd Ave
Thugling to friend tossing banana peel on sidewalk: Yo pick that up! This ain't The Bronx! They'll give you a ticket for that shit up here!
Friend, glancing back: Too late.
–Upper Eeast Side
Overheard by: Turtle shells are better
Excited mother to son, watching Egypt exhibit: Oh, look, honey, those are esophaguses!
Embarrassed father, whispering: Sarcophaguses.
–The Met
Overheard by: KeaKea
Woman standing in the rain, yelling at boyfriend: No! I'm not walking there! This water is dirty!
Another woman, passing by: Of course it's dirty, it's on the street. Are you fucking kidding?
–86th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: she's not.
Mother: And that's why they're beautiful, cuz god made them. Everything god makes is beautiful.
Daughter, pointing to homeless man: Not that.
–104th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jonesy
