Chick: I love his mole. It’s like Matt Damon…he has a mole.
–Starbucks, W. 4th St.
Chick: I think it’s sexy that he went to art school.
Her two friends start laughing immediately.
–Jane, Soho
Overheard by: Tamika J.
Chick: I love his mole. It’s like Matt Damon…he has a mole.
–Starbucks, W. 4th St.
Chick: I think it’s sexy that he went to art school.
Her two friends start laughing immediately.
–Jane, Soho
Overheard by: Tamika J.
Building worker on cell: Like her? No, I don’t like her. I have to like every girl that I bone? Terrible? Why is that terrible?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: blatto
Guy on cell: I’m looking for someone to, excuse my language, fuck, not just have sex with.
–Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Jason
Eurotrash: So then I felt bad because he couldn’t guess who I was and so I gave him a hint. I told him I would meet him at six o’clock at the motel, because you know, that was like our place!
–34th St & 5th Ave
Guy: You sleep with them once and they expect you to bring your toothbrush and loofa over the next time.
–Tad’s Montana
Overheard by: Mishen
Girl on cell: Remember how I was talking to that guy in London? Well, he’s coming to visit for five days. Yeah, it’s gonna be fun. I’ve decided, after he leaves, I’m not going to talk to him anymore. What’s the point? It’s not even a relationship, it’s a pseudo-relationship. You fight and get mad and what for? I’m not moving to London, he’s not moving to New York. Yeah, so we’ll have fun, and then when he leaves, I just won’t talk to him anymore. How is that shady?
–N train, Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Girl: Yeah, I feel like I’m bangin’ the whole world!
–Columbus Circle subway exit
Hobo: Pretty soon this gon’ be a paper-less world. I’ll help you… Gimme all your paper money. I bring you to the future.
–Outside CVS, Lex
Teen girl: Of course there were credit cards in the ’50s. How else would they have gotten their money from the ATMs?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Hans
Hipster boy to hipster girl: Yeah, remember that time we stuck to our principles? We got screwed out of a shitload of cash!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Steph
Articulate crazy man: Make money the old-fashioned way: put mercenaries on your payroll!
–6 train
Overheard by: Interested. Very interested.
Conductor: To the person who lost a roll of cash held together with a rubber band, come see me. I found the rubber band.
–A train, 59th St
Overheard by: John
Fat old guy to pal: You’re either going to hurt yourself, hurt someone else, or lose all of us millions of dollars.
–8th & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Julian Bennett Holmes
Thug handing 20-dollar bill to clerk: Be careful! Let it dry — I just made that.
–Deli, 137th & Broadway
Flyer guy: Smile, you're on Broadway! (singing) You're never fully dressed…when you're naked! (stops singing) So come to New York's best improvisational comedy club! Be there, or be someplace else!
–Times Square
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Annoying man outside comedy club, to passerby: Do you like stand-up comedy? (passerby ignores him keeps walking) Do you like free alcohol? (passerby keeps walking) Do you like ignoring me? (passerby turns head and nods)
–Broadway
Overheard by: Wojo
Comedy show ticket salesman to couple: So, what are you two doing tonight…besides each other?
–Broadway & 49th St
Overheard by: Theo
Ticket guy to walking couple: Do you like comedy or do you just do each other? Maybe that's all you need.
–51st & 8th
Overheard by: PartyByNight
Street vendor: Want to see a comedy show for $10? Free drinks! Cheaper than crack cocaine!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: gradstudent
Comedy club flyer guy: Blah, blah, blah, take my flyer!
–Times Square
Overheard by: No flyer, but props for the delivery
Mom to son in stroller: Shut up! You want everything! Life isn’t like that!
–Staten Island ferry
Lady, pushing a stroller: My parents always used to say they were going to run away because we were so awful.
–Washington Square
Man: Yo, I got to tell my son to start selling weed now!
–56th St, between 5th Ave & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Caroline
Mom: Honey, if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t keep buying you things.
–Bleecker St & Broadway
Mom hits kid in stroller.
Little kid: Fuck you, you fucking bitch!
–Pizza place, 14th St
Century 21 employee: And there was this Asian lady with her kid on a leash… A leash!
–Century 21
Overheard by: C21shopper
Bimbette, pointing to toddler in stroller: That’s how I met this motherfucker’s father!
–98th St & Broadway
Overheard by: shocked and appalled
Slightly thugged-out guy, rapping to little white poodle: Li'l coco! You's a muthafuckin' beast, yo! Li'l coco! Yeah!
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: John Bender
Guy to dog: Lady, it's just me! There's only me!
–77th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Big burly guy to tiny yorkie, as it sniffs tree and walks away: Well, thanks for that false alarm.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Upper West Side lady to little pampered dog with sweater: It's okay, baby, you can talk.
–80th Ave & Columbus
Hipster dog walker, whispering to herd of dachsunds: Mushhhhh…
–Central Park
Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jaco
Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…
–Fairmay Market, Red Hook
Overheard by: RStein
Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!
–Union Square
Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.
–Kinokuniya Bookstore
Overheard by: Chris Coll
Lady on cell: She must have been humiliated by the parade of wives!
–Broadway & 72nd
Man to friend: Whenever I want to fuck my wife, she doesn't want to. But when I can't, she always wants to. I think she does it out of spite.
–12th St
(Elton John's Rocketman playing on radio) "I miss the Earth so much… I miss my wife…"
Barista: You don't miss your wife, Elton. You're gay!
–Small Coffee Shop, SoHo
Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!
–Union Square Subway
30-something guy: Dude, that's so rude. Plus, she's going to be your wife soon, so you've got to stop calling her that.
–Hell's Kitchen
Three JHS boys pass a woman in a tight t-shirt and mini-skirt talking on her cell. One stares slack-jawed, then says to his buddies: Wow! That was the new Motorola.
–79th Street between Columbus & Amsterdam
Guy: As soon as I get my unemployment check, I’m going to buy a new TV.
–Penn Station
Woman on cell: I lost my sunglasses and I have cancer.
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: Lisa
Boy, 8: Look Mom! I think Daddy likes the Hummer more than you.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Adam Kraemer
Guy on pay phone: I haven’t decided if I prefer the smell of fresh urine or stale urine. I’ll let you know.
–Hotel Edison, West 47th Street
Guy: I told you what my goal is: to be lazy. 20 years from now, I want to be lazy.
–St. Mark’s Place between 2nd & 3rd
Bus driver, just before departing for Boston: Peace, love, and if no one's said it to you today, I love you.
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Nina
Bus driver: Hello? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? If so, you're too close to the front. Move to the back of the bus, back of the bus…I'll be here til 2 in the morning, I have plenty of time.
–M86 Bus
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
MTA bus driver to woman with a kid: Excuse me, you have to pay for your kid to ride this train. See the line where your hand is? If he is shorter than that line, then he doesn't have to pay. But he is taller, and he has to pay. (woman and kid walk off bus, now he addresses passengers) But on a lighter note, happy New Year.
–M86 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Bus driver of crowded bus: This is Madison avenue. Get off! I mean…watch your step.
–Bus, 86th St
Overheard by: Michael
Bus driver: This is the last stop, Queens Center. If you are going shopping today, I hope you find everything you are looking for. Also, please be nice to the salespeople. It's not easy dealing with people day after day. I should know, I'm a bus driver.
–Q88 Bus
Overheard by: Jenn
