Black teen to drag queen: Yo, I can see your Adam’s apple, nigga!
Friend: Shhh, don’t say the N-word, we’re surrounded by white people!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: jesse michael klein
Black teen to drag queen: Yo, I can see your Adam’s apple, nigga!
Friend: Shhh, don’t say the N-word, we’re surrounded by white people!
–8th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: jesse michael klein
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Guy eating pancakes: Everything's funny in retrospect, like the time I got that screwdriver stuck in my eye.
–IHOP, Brooklyn
Ancient Greek civilization professor: A sexual act, in some sense, for an observer is funny.
–Hunter College
Crazy lady: All the prostitutes need to be rounded up and stuck in churches! (teen girl laughs) You think that's funny? It's not gonna be funny when you are in a hospital addicted to crack!
–Water St & Broad St
Girl to her friend: Wouldn't it be funny if human beings could only walk forward and backwards?
–8th St & 2nd Ave
Lady sitting with girlfriends: It's funny because I'm pregnant, and he doesn't know.
–Starbucks
Drunken Jets fan to friends in Jets jerseys: That's not funny. You want to see something funny? (grabs wooden signpost, slams forehead into it) That's funny!
–W 4th & Barrow
Overheard by: jira monkey
Girl: If we don't get there soon, my uterus is going to fall out.
Boy: If it does, you could frame it and give it to PS1 at the MoMA.
–59th St & 3rd Ave
MTA conductor: Rector street is next. The next stop is rector street.
Old lady tourist to friend: Rector… Rector… Rectum.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Well, we’ve all thought it
Deli man: You have beautiful eyes.
Woman: Thank you.
Deli man: You better take care of them.
–63rd & 1st
Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!
–Queens
Middle-aged Latino: I've got barbie dolls!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I'm like a bobble-head doll!
–96th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Galatea
Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.
–11th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Bill
Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don't play with the doll house that much because you said we're not supposed to play in the meditation room.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Chick (walking in elevator and looking at others): Sorry for staring, but you all have blue eyes.
Blue-eyed woman: Yeah, we're all related.
Chick: Really?
Blue-eyed woman: Uh, no.
Blue-eyed man: But don't worry, we'll be nice to you when we take over.
–Elevator, Roosevelt Hospital
Female day-drinking tourist: Oh shit, I left my vodka in the church!
–Outside Trinity Church
Man on cell: If it's possible to ferment it, we have fermented it.
–7th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave
Middle-aged man to younger man: You know how cats and dogs–they eat and then they go? In one end and out the other. I'm like that. My bladder has room for the equivalent of one good cocktail.
–10th Ave and W 50th St
Overheard by: Ah….middle age
Commuter at 8 am: Beer. Beer.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: baconista
Old drunk walking into a liquor store, to clerk: Have you got my prescription?
–Broadway & 106th St
Overheard by: rickbruner
Drunk woman to boyfriend, coming out of a restaurant: Can I sit on your face and smoke?
Man: Sure, honey!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Kenny
