Kid on bike: Hey dad–that Gap ad. Is that Viggo Mortensen?
Dad on bike, looking: Him? Noooo! (pause) Viggo Mortensen's black.
Kid on bike: He is? Oh. (pause) In Lord of the Rings he wasn't…
–28th St & Park Ave
Kid on bike: Hey dad–that Gap ad. Is that Viggo Mortensen?
Dad on bike, looking: Him? Noooo! (pause) Viggo Mortensen's black.
Kid on bike: He is? Oh. (pause) In Lord of the Rings he wasn't…
–28th St & Park Ave
Mother, in front of bridal store: Those dresses are so ugly. Why would anyone wear a dress like that to their wedding?
Daughter, in stroller: Some people like ugly!
–57th & Park Ave
Gay guy: I like baby clothes more than babies.
Straight friend: Good thing, cause you guys are missing a vagina.
Gay guy: But I do like babies more than vaginas.
Straight friend: You like a lot of things more than vaginas! You like traffic more than vaginas.
–Bleecker & Christopher
Overheard by: Also doesn't like vaginas.
11 year-old girl to dad: Sucking on something automatically makes you gay.
–High Line
Overheard by: Kirby
NYPD detective, working Gay Pride parade: They've been coming out for the last two hours. And they will probably be coming out for another three hours!
–5th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Just Visiting…
Not very effeminate gay guy, near extremely effeminate group of pride festers: Suddenly, I don't feel so gay!
–PrideFest, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: proud dad
Man to friend: The problem with getting too buff is that people start to think that you're gay.
–Starbucks
Male fashionista to stranger on bus: And she thought I was gay because I dress well and stuff. (to another passenger) Oh, is that moisturizer? Can I use some?
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Can't imagine why she thought so
Woman handcuffed to man, having romantic picnic with rose petals spilled over a blanket: I didn't think I would be handcuffed to you in a park telling you all of my secrets when I met you in a gay bar!
–Central Park Sheep Meadow
Latino nanny to redheaded toddler, after he throws his hat at her: Put your hat back on your hair! It's freaking people out.
–Central Park
Disheveled raggedy hobo, reprimanding suit: Get a haircut!
–Wachovia Wells Fargo
Overheard by: CS
Loud black girl on cell phone: You know where the train station is, where all them homeless people live? Yeah, that's where I go get my hair done. She doesn't fuck my hair up, because I told her, "you best not fuck my hair up." And now she never does. (chuckles)
–LIRR
Overheard by: kill her
Beautiful angry woman on cell: I had told you to meet me at 116th Street because I got my hair in my bag! My weave hair! I had wanted to do my hair later, because it's too damn hot to be sitting up in that place. But I'm not going to no damn barbecue with weave hair in my bag!
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Shrimp on the barbie
Little boy with squirt gun: No! You wetted my hair! My beautiful flowing hair!
–Rockefeller Park
Ghetto girl #1: You know I look good in this outfit, but I should not have worn it today, especially after applying cocoa butter all over my ass.
Ghetto girl #2: That's why you gotta cocoa yo' ass before you go to bed at night.
Ghetto girl #1: Girl, you know I do that too.
Ghetto girl #2: Better to have too much cocoa butter on than to be a ashy hoe man like Britney Spears.
–10th Ave b/w 57th & 56th
Guido in Mercedes, honking horn: Yo!
(jogging hottie ignores him)
Guido: Can I talk to you?
(jogging hottie ignores him)
Guido: What's wrong with me, no date?
(jogging hottie ignores him)
Guido: Is it my hair, my clothes?
Jogging hottie, taking off headphones: I don't date Mercedes C230s.
–West Side Highway Jogging Path
Overheard by: La Diabla
Gluttony
Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Sam
Lust
Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…
–5th Ave & 12th St
Greed
Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe
Sloth
Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?
–L Train
Wrath
Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.
–Brooklyn College Library
Envy
Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!
–Bleecker & Spring
Pride
Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!
–Battery Park
Professor: I don't know why any of us are here… It's gorgeous out and there are very lovely ladies wearing minimal clothing!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ginger
College girl in short skirt to friend: My ass feels naked and exposed, that's how I feel.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Man to woman: She's really starting to perfect the "slutty flight attendant" look.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Glory
Woman, with pride: My gynecologist wears leather mini skirts and platform shoes!
–Park Slope
Female suit: I am the worst lawyer ever. That's why I dress like a slut. I always win.
–L Train
