T-shirt seller for Hair: Buy a t-shirt or a sweatshirt! The actors may be naked, but you don't have to be!
T-shirt seller friend: You need to work on your delivery.
T-shirt seller: Yeah, I know.
–Shakespeare in the Park
Overheard by: Natalie
T-shirt seller for Hair: Buy a t-shirt or a sweatshirt! The actors may be naked, but you don't have to be!
T-shirt seller friend: You need to work on your delivery.
T-shirt seller: Yeah, I know.
–Shakespeare in the Park
Overheard by: Natalie
Brunette, after woman walks away from her: Oh great, now I can stick my hand up my skirt.
Blonde: Oh, perfect timing!
–Victoria's Secret, 86th St
Suit on Bluetooth headset: You just lie on the ground and squeal like a pig!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Justin
Chick on cell: A theatrical fashion show of people in assless pleather chaps and pig masks…
–W 26th St b/w 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Ladle
Hipster chick: I love bulldogs; they're like little alien piglets.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Sorority girl, walking dog, to friend: Didn't you have a pig you could squeeze and make poop come out?
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Professor: Your mother is a pigfucker. Now, I hope you don't all go home and cry because I said that.
–Brooklyn College
Ghetto girl: Hmm, I know what a peanut is, but what a walnut is?
–147th & Broadway
Man on cell: It's quite possible that my left nut is bigger than my right nut.
–82nd & Broadway
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So that's why Yoda sounds like busting a nut!
–Ave A & 6th St
Guy to friend: I've been bitten in the nuts by two different Scottish Terriers.
–7th Ave b/w 24th & 25th
Overheard by: Carmen
Guy on cell: I'm just like an anorexic. Every time they look in the mirror, they think "I'm not skinny enough," but I look in the mirror and think "these pants aren't tight enough," even though everyone tells me they can see my nuts.
–L Train
Girl #1: That's a cute dress. Are you going to wear it with leggings.
Girl #2: I don't own leggings.
Girl #1: Why not?
Girl #2: Because I'm not an asshole.
–Penn Station
Hipster kid: I should just stop wearing underwear altogether.
–Loews Cinema, 84th St
Hipster girl on cell: Is it "i before e" or "e before i"? "E before i," right? I knew it was "i before e"!
–11th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jerome
Drunk hipster girl to boyfriend: I can't afford to buy drugs, I have to buy lunch on Wednesday.
–A Train
Overheard by: Jesse Jack
Angry hipster girl: Why are there so many ATMs everywhere?!
–6th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Cash Money
Hipster girl, commenting on painting to friend: God, you see diamonds everywhere now. They're like the new antlers.
–Bushwick Art Loft
Boy on cell: A swimsuit and a medal? That's a lot of clothes to wear. Hello? Hello?
–NYU
Overheard by: Xy
Man to other sitting on sidewalk: Dude… you know, gloves actually make your hands colder. They're not worth it, man.
–Astor Place
Small Middle Eastern male cashier to white girl: You are wearing things all black! Black bag, black coat, black hair. The only thing not black is you!
–Duane Reade
NYU hipster: People wearing white are in a cult, okay?
–NYU
Overheard by: Boots
Blind lady carrying cane, pointing to clothing on rack: Oh, this this looks good!
–Kmart, 34th St
Overheard by: AussieinNYC
60-year-old woman to friend, at Met opening gala: I'm not going to go to the opera this year. There are no fancy entrances.
–62nd & Amsterdam, Improvised Met Entrance
Overheard by: Melissa
Crazy man to group of young women: Hello ladies, are you having a nice night? (women ignore him) You could just say "yes." I'm not Jack the Ripper, I'm not the Boston Strangler…look at you, walking all fancy and shit!
–125th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Anna
Tourist girl: Y'all, Times Square is so fancy. They have a red lobster!
–Times Square
Hobo: Red lobster? What kind of fancy guy do you know? You're lucky if I can buy you a slice of pizza.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: hungry4biscuits
Crazy guy on subway: You have to hold onto your valuables, your Christmas presents, your fancy lingerie…because if you put them down, someone will take them. People are really fast around here. Men, women, transvestites…transvestites are really fond of fancy lingerie.
–Northbound R Train
Overheard by: ElizabethB
Young white yuppie woman: Well, as long as he keeps his pants on it should be alright.
Young white yuppie man: I hope so.
–6th Ave & 42nd St
Overheard by: Daniel
Tourist mom, pointing to Equus sign: Oh, eek-quass. Look, and it's with your favorite, Harry Potter.
11-year-old daughter: Uh huh.
Mom: Oh! And he has no shirt on! Look, honey!
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Slightly uncomfortable, queezy male
